Vroom Vroom

Things are changing rather quickly.

I received the official "Congratulations, you've graduated! The diploma's in the mail" e-mail today. Since classes ended I've been thinking of myself as a graduate (I knew what my grades were and that everything was in order). Still, it's kind of weird to know that it's officially official. I'm not sure there's any point in the last 7 years that I really fully believed I would reach this point. I got me a BA.

To commemorate the official plunge into adulthood... Is this when it happens? Or did it happen already? Is there really a moment when a person becomes an adult? Or does it happen gradually? Will I wake up one day at 50 something and think "well, there's the last bit of childness gone"? God, I hope not. Anyway. The point is I bought a (almost new) car. That's a very grown up thing to do. Here's a picture:

It's a cute car. I love it.

Back to the adult thing. I refuse to wake up and have no childness left. I will never be too old to run through sprinklers. Well, I might have to shuffle through them at some point. Old ladies aren't always much for running.

I'm kind of all over the place with my thoughts at the moment. I should be sleeping, so that doesn't help. I've been at a going away celebration thing of sorts all night. A good friend of mine is heading off to grad school in Ohio. It's going to be weird without him. Or maybe they will be much less weird. He is, after all, one of the strangest people I know.

That's enough for now. I'm going to stop thinking and just dream now.

Are You Still There?

Or perhaps it's more appropriate to ask if I'm still here. But I don't need to ask that question because wherever I am, I am there. Tautology FTW.

I miss writing. The compulsion to write is still present, and there's at least one moment every day that I say to myself, "I should sit down and write as soon as I get home." Of course once I get home, I get right down to not writing.

I have lots of not writing to get done right now, but I thought I'd pop in on my blog and let the internet know that I'm still here. And to catch the virtual world up on my life.

I've just graduated. That's my big news. Well, really, technically, I haven't officially graduated yet. Grades are posted on the 16th. Assuming I've passed all my classes (which I have, with mostly flying colors) that's when I will actually graduate. That's when they'll mail my diploma. The point is, I never have to take another undergraduate class again. Yay!

Other things that have happened in the last... 8 (shit) months:
I went to DC for a Lindy Echange and it was fantastic. Words: Battle of Big Bands.
I've started DJing swing dances. That's fun.
I'm about to (hopefully) start DJing Blues events.
I've become very disappointed with my health/weight and have intentions to fix that.
I've been single all year. But I'm now on kissing terms with a new boy. He's nice, but not terribly exciting. I hope he never has a reason to read this.

I hope I will get around to writing more now that I don't have to worry about class. I've been considering making this blog some sort of themed thing. I like the idea of making it a collection of lists. Or maybe, if I do that, I should start a fresh blog.

Anyway, I miss writing.

Auld Lang Whatever

Well, the end of 2010 has come. Time for reflection and what not.

This year has really been a great one. Granted the last few months have not been spectacular, what with the car being wrecked and I've been in kind of a funk all December. Being dumped sucked some serious balls too.

But those were really the only two really bad things that happened. And the good things that happened this year were really fucking fantastic. I went to LONDON! I got the job that I wanted and it is a good job. I did very well in school this semester... which reminds me, I have to post pictures of the books I made in my Book Binding class. Plus, the boyfriend thing was really nice while it lasted. As crappy as it was when it was over, I was really happy while it lasted. I think that happiness was worth the pain that followed.

I'm not going to do too much reflecting about the year. I think what I've already posted pretty well covers it. 2010 was wonderful! I hope 2011 is just as good if not better. It will be hard to beat London though.

2010 was not a good year for blogging though, was it? Only 23 posts this year. Well, I don't expect that trend to change much. Even with the infrequency of my updates, I've posted more than most of my friends who have blogs. I think it's kind of a dying art. With twitter and facebook facilitating really short updates about the minutiae of our days, blogging seems redundant. And reading more than 140 characters is hard with our shortened attention spans. I'm not giving up on this old girl just yet, but I'm not optimistic that I'll post very often. It may turn into more of a tumblr type blog. I'll just post little things and link and pictures and things. I don't know. I guess we all have to just wait and find out.

Happy New Year everyone!

High Times Hard Times

There are all sorts of clichés and platitudes along the lines of Sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down, The wheel of fate is always turning blah, blah, blah, etc. Well, clichés exist and persevere for a reason. Sometimes life hands you lemonade and sometimes it hands you a big steamy shit sandwich.


Last time I posted about my life (not about LGBT politics) I was swimming in happy. The thing about happy is that it is a very unreliable thing to swim in. When everything was going so well, I made up my mind to enjoy it as much as it is possible to enjoy something and not sit around waiting for the other shoe to drop.


Funny thing about other shoes: they tend to drop anyway.


After about two months of being together, boyfriend dumped me. The thing is, being dumped happens, two months is not really a long time to be with someone, and I may have been more attached than I reasonably should have been. Of course the term "reasonable" and all it's variations never really can be applied to romance. I was very nearly in love with him and when he dropped me I landed hard. I've gotten used to being single again. I'm good at being single. But it was really, really nice to be with someone wonderful.


I moped for a long time after being dumped. Just a few weeks after I really felt like I had really recovered life kicked me in the ass again. Last Tuesday we had unseasonably wintry weather. I was driving home from a dance thing and hit a bad patch of ice and my car started spinning. Don't worry, it eventually stopped spinning... when it slammed into a concrete barrier. I'm un-hurt, as is my passenger. So I guess that's good. My car, on the other hand, is smashed and probably un-savable. 


More bad news: my car is (was?) really old so I only had liability insurance on it, so none of the damage is covered. 


It is very possible to get around without a car. Utah public transportation pretty much sucks (the ten minute drive from my house to work takes just over 45 minutes by bus), but it's do-able. The thing is, I have always been wildly independent. Even more so of late. I like being able to go where I want when I want and not have to rely on other people. Unfortunately, without a car I have to rely on other people to get places. I know I shouldn't mind it that much, and I have people who can drive me around, but it seriously cramps my style.


I might end up buying a clunker for a few hundred dollars. Something that will last me a year or two. That way I could at least get myself around. We'll see. 


Now, on a happier note: I still have my awesome job. I still have very little school left (although I might have to spread out what is left a little longer because I don't have time to work, go to school full time and take really slow public transportation from one to the other) and it's going very well this semester. I love my classes. Except Spanish. I don't love that but, well, it has to be done. And it's not bad.


Even the crappy stuff is not really that bad. I like the idea of taking the bus more, and walking places. It's better for the environment and for my health (except when the valley is full of smog, which happens fairly often). I would rather not have been dumped, but... well, I don't mind being single and I don't have a lot of extra time to dedicate to a relationship thing.


There's something about dealing with the shit life give us that kind of lets us know we're really alive. I can't believe I just said that! How cheesy can I get? Still it's true. I'll leave you with a fun song about it. By The Eels. They rock.

LDS, LGBT, HRC (and several other letters as well)

As many of you (at least those of my readers who are in Utah), this past weekend was the LDS Church's General Conference. Conference is generally something that doesn't have much effect on me. I avoid trying to drive or eat at restaurants down-town and that's about the extent of my involvement. Like with all things to do with religion, I say to each his own. Live and let live.

This year the speech made by President Boyd K. Packer raised a lot of hackles. I'm friends with a lot of queers and consider myself part of the LGBT community. Not because I am LGB or T (although I have been declared an honorary gay boy for pride) but because I support their cause and believe that gender and sexual orientation shouldn't matter.

The press statement released by the Human Rights Campaign in response to Packer's speech popped up on my facebook several times this morning. I read it, and a few other articles (mentioned below), and then reposted it.

My friend Jeremy posted a reply with a link to this blog post which is, as he put it, "a good response to many of these allegations." I feel like at this point I should tell you that I greatly respect Jeremy's opinions. We don't agree on many issues (mostly involving politics and religion), but that's ok. He is an intelligent person and does his best to be well informed. As do I.

Anyway, you should read both things I linked to up there. Go on. I'll wait. The rest of this post is my response to them so if you don't read them you could probably stop reading now.

Connor Boyack makes some valid points, but his blog tips a little toward hypocrisy. I don't want to get into that. Hypocrisy is almost impossible to avoid in a heated issue like this. Boyack does make some valid points.

The HRC is certainly not an unbiased source, and a lot of their rhetoric is exaggerative in order to make a point and stir people to action. It's also probably true that most people who support HRC and LGBT causes will probably not read any further into the issue. That is a damned shame. People really should be willing to explore multiple sources for information and to look at both sides before they firmly come down on one side or the other. They don't. And that is how we get ignorant and uninformed people on both sides of an issue.

After reading the link Jeremy posted, I followed the link from that blog and listened to Packer's speech. I also read through "The Family: a Proclamation to the World" which plays a significant role in what Packer said. I've also read the article in the Salt Lake Tribune, the article in the Herald Journal and another blog, written by a member of the LDS church. I feel like I'm well informed enough to make an informed statement.

HRC has two, very important points. Packer's words are dangerous and, at times, inaccurate.

Inaccurate because same-sex attraction is not unnatural and it cannot be cured. People cannot help who they are attracted to.

Dangerous because what he said does effect the way the church members consider LGBT people. It is probably most dangerous to members of the LDS church who are gay. It creates a hostile environment for them in exactly the places they most need support. Being gay is hard enough without your community telling you it is unnatural and impure.

Moreover, there are people who will take Packer's words and will twist them to justify the kind of bullying and homophobic behavior that lead to the recent suicides. Yes, I know Packer didn't condone that sort of behavior in anyway. Yes, it's possible to twist anything to justify anything else if we try hard enough. But Packer is a very influential spiritual leader and his speech was pretty clearly anti-homosexual. A person in his position must be extra careful of what seeds he plants in his community. How hard would it have been for him to plant ideas of tolerance and openness? How hard would it be to spread a message of love and acceptance of all our fellow human beings?

Pop Goes the Weasel!

Remember my Bubble of Tremendous Potential? It's pretty much gone now. Don't worry, it popped in the most pleasant way possible; pretty much all the potential was met.

Now that there's no danger of jinxing things, I can tell you all the good news.

First (and probably most important) I have a new job! It's basically my old job but now I have benefits and I only go to one library. Even better- it's exactly the library at which I was hoping to get a job. It's close and I really like the staff and the patrons. The position is only 20 hours a week so it will work really well with school (which starts in two weeks! More on that later).

Second (and probably most fun) is a much improved romantical situation. There is boyfriend. He is wonderful. We got together around the Fourth of July and things have been going strong since. I'm not telling any more than that because it's none of your business. If you know me outside of the internet, I'll be happy to talk your war off about him in person.

Third (and this is probably still infusion process of popping really) is teh skulze. I'm really close to graduating, you guys. It's crazy. Plus I can totally start slacking off as far as classes go. I have almost all my upper level credits done so I could take all intro classes next semester just to get enough hours to graduate. What little time I have left in school is going to be super fun, I think.

Those are the big things. I planned to write more today but I'm posting from my phone which is kind of a pain in the ass. That is also my excuse for any typos/weirdness.

Everything's Coming Up Roses for You and For Me

The last two weeks I have been living in a bubble of Tremendous Potential.

I'm not going to go into anything specific. I don't want to jinx it. But things on several fronts are going in a really great direction. If the trend continues wonderful changes will be happening in my life very soon.

I think times like this are the very best in life. When the bubble of Tremendous Potential is lingering. The anticipation is delightfully hard to bear, the excitement is palpable, the possibilities are endless. This moment, just before everything goes right (ummm let's hope they actually do go right. I know I can't count on that happening for certain), is a wonderful place to be.

Isn't the time after everything goes right better? No. No it's not. Yes, there is some relief in having everything settled, but once it is there is no more possibility for it to be so much more than it actually is.The time after everything goes right is like the time after you finish a really good book. It's a relief to see that the crisis is over, the characters are living happily ever after, the mystery (if you're reading a mystery) is solved. But you also no longer have that book to read, you have to leave your characters and their lives. You no longer get to wonder what is going to happen because you already know- you finished the book.

What if there are sequels? Shut up! You're ruining my metaphor! 

The bubble of Tremendous Potential is like the very middle of the book. You don't want to put it down because you are so wrapped up in the characters and their world. You want to read as quickly as possible because you can't wait to find out what happens, but you also want to read as slow as you can stand because you want to relish the moment and stay with the characters.

Ok, so the analogy is a little imperfect. When I leave the bubble, I'll still have the same characters in my life and be living in more or less the same world. But it's more the feeling I'm talking about; the excitement and the hope.

As much as I like this moment, I know it can't last. Potential destroys itself if it continues on unfulfilled. I feel very confident that things will go well, but like I parenthetically stated above, I can never be positive. If you feel like crossing your fingers for me if wouldn't hurt anything.