He Started It

Do you suppose spending too much time in a childish place (read: toy store) causes people to act more childish? Or maybe those people are just childish to begin with and the environment brings it out in them. I'm talking about Clint - who I work with at toyland. Yesterday we both worked the all day Saturday 9:30-6:30 shift (although he didn't show until 10:15). In that time he pulled my hair, threatened to cut my hair off with the scissors we use for wrapping, threw several balls at my head, thunked me with a package of clay, threw not a few art kits at me, and scribbled on my arms with a giant pen. All this on top of the usual bantering and bickering that we always seem to get caught up in (much to the amusement of Lucy). Near closing, Allison (the manager) walked out of her office, looked at my arms and looked at Clint and laughed. Derek has often referred to this kindergarted kind of flirting as our "romantic moments." Somehow I get the feeling that Clint and I are a favorite topic of 'office gossip' (in as much as the toystore is an office). As for me, I think it's fun, but it's not like I like the kid. And he has a girlfriend who he claims to be rather in love with.

Blustery Day

I have mountains in my front yard. They're not really mountains but more foothills. Anyway, near the top of one of these hills there is a big rock that Highland High School has painted with an H. We call it the H rock (very original). Anyway, earlier today I decided to treck up to the H rock (quite a walk up a very steep hill). When I got up there I sat on a smaller rock and looked down at my house and out at the valley. It is really windy today and I was getting very windblown. When I decided to leave I realized that I had four choices. I could walk into the wind, with the wind, just sit there and be blown but not go anywhere or walk perpendicular to the wind and end up in a ravine or someone's back yard. What a metaphor huh? Obviously the last option is a bad one. If I walk with the wind, it's easier. There is no resistance but I have to go pretty far out of my way and probably take a good half hour longer to get home. If I walk against the wind it's harder but more direct and possibly more fun. If I just sit there, it's boring and nothing gets done. And eventually the wind turns cold and I feeze to the rock and never get anywhere ever. Any way you look at it I end up with sexy wind-blown hair though. Of course, some people think there's the fifth option of changing the direction of the wind. Seems like a good idea, but it's a lot harder than you might think. And if you're thinking straight then you're going to think that it's pretty damn hard so if it's harder than you think it's gotta be DAMN hard. I decided to walk into the wind.

ah the trends

What's so great about MYSPACE anyway? For some reason it kinda bugs me. I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe it's too trendy, but that didn't stop me from buying and i-pod (mini, green, I love it) or from jumping on the blog bandwagon (obviously). And Myspace, if I try to justify it, is a great way to pretend to communicate (since that's what we do on this internet thing). I mean, I could blog, e-mail, IM, everything I would ever want to do. I just don't like it. And for me, it wouldn't really be all that usefull because none of my friends are on it. Exept Arrakis, but that's new. I know many of my friends would have nothing to do with it anyway, most of them don't know about it and if they did, they wouldn't use it. So what's the point? I have this little blog to dispence my random drivel to anyone who wants to hear it, I have two e-mail adresses that people can use to e-mail me, and I have Trillian which means I have Yahoo! AIM and MSN all in one messenger. MYSPACE would be over kill. Besides that, I don't especially like the people I know who are on Myspace (Arrakis excepted). That may just be coincidence. Besides, I've heard rumors that it turns people emo.

Alice in Wonderland

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

What a tragic poem that is. I suppose in the end it's the oysters own fault they got eaten. Silly little things. It wasn't very nice of the Walrus and the Carpenter to lure them out of the Ocean though. I like the Carpenter a bit more he's just really quite stupid whereas the Walrus is more malicious. Of course, I don't condone stupidity either. If you would like to read the whole poem, go here: http://www.jabberwocky.com/carroll/walrus.html

Walkin on Sunshine

Tuesday was a really good day. It was one of those days that stay with you and make subsequent days good. Yesterday was a good day too, though nothing special happened. Today is not bad even though I had to work this morning and I dislike working mornings. But Tuesday was prime. We should all have more days like Tuesday. Nothing bad happened and a few exceptionally wonderful things did happen. I just thought I would share that.

Attempted Noir

I saw Sin City this weekend. I really didn't like it much. Now, before you go and say that I don't appreciate such stylized films, let me defend myself. I actually really liked the style and I thought it had tremendous potential that it didn't quite reach. The black and white with the highlighting was really neat and well done. The things that they chose to highlight were well chosen and added to the film. What I didn't like was the rediculous dialogue that sounded like it was taken straight out of the comic book and slapped into the script. Now, I have nothing against comic books, but you need to do a little bit of revising before you try to put it on screen. I also thought it dragged on a little too long. It was just over two hours and throughout the last half-hour/45 minutes I found myself checking my watch every 5 minutes. If they had cut out the pedifile bit with Bruce Willis (I have nothing against Willis, I just was very disturbed by the 19/71 age ratio, not to mention the yellow guy, that was yucky) it would have been much better. Basically it was trying too hard to be sort of classic Film Noir but fail pretty much after the first scene. Plus the blood looked like bird shit half the time. That just was odd to me.

DED

The Pope died. What was he, 100? It was going to happen pretty darn soon anyway, wasn't it. For some reason, this has spurned quite a bit of conversation amongst my friends, none of whom are Catholic and all of whom are sarcastic. One reffered to his death (along with the Florida lady) as a big plublicity stunt. A few contemplated a fashion trend of pope hats and robes. The theory was that he would lose significance but then I pointed out the whole spiritual devine appointment sort of thing (how do you get to be pope anyway?). Some of the more political ones cynically wondered who G.W. would appoint as the new pope. Personally, I don't care all that much. He was old, we all shuffle off this mortal coil at some point. So move on. The pope is dead, long live the pope. (Ok, that's just for kings isn't it? Oh well, it doesn't make any sense anyway. How can anyone (pope or king) live long if he's dead?)

P.S. Sorry if I offended anyone. Take solice in the thought that I am going to burn anyway so I might as well blaspheme a bit on my way.

To Be Taken with Absolute Seriousness

I have a confession. This has been weighing on my concience for a while and I need to get it off my chest. I am not really human. Nor am I a super-intelligent alien from Planet Zoorg of the Kerbity System. I am in fact.... A Goldfish!!!

April Fool!!!
Ha ha you totally fell for it.

Bunny Time

Easter amuses me. Since I grew up without religion, it has never really meant more to me than free candy and eggs- none of that Chist dying for my sins and then disappearing from his cave. Now, I get the religious part of it but I am delighted at all the pagan fertility symbols that go along with this spring holiday. I mean, eggs and bunnies, does it get more sexified? It such a contridiction of the holier-than-thou-don't-sin religion thing and the pagan woo-hoo-it's-spring-let's-make-babies. I love it.

Gosh Darn it All

Don't you just hate it when you go to the doctor and he says that you look just fine but he wants to run some tests anyway and so you go down to the lab and they stick a needle in your arm and take out some fluid and then they make you pee in a cup and you go home with a bright freakin' green bandage around your elbow and then a few days later your doctor's office calls and tells you you have iron-deficiency anemia and that you have to take ferrus sulfate but they don't have ferrus sulfate at your local pharmacy so you have to drive all around town to find it and once you have it then you have to take it because as fun as it is getting really dizzy every time you stand up, it's really not that fun and even though you don't really have a problem with ferrus sulfate - it doesn't mess up your digestion like it does with some people- you just dont really like taking pills so then you have to tell everyone about it in a really horrible run-on sentence? Yeah, I hate that.

Spring Time

For those who don't know, today is the first day of spring. Weatherly speaking it doesn't really mean anything. Astronomicaly, however it's important (or something like it). The Vernal Equinox is what happens today. This means that the Earth with it's tilted little axis not pointing away from the sun nor toward it. This makes it so we have almost the same amount of daylight as nightdark (yes, I did make that word up, but it's a good word). Personally though I'm not that whoop-dee-doo for equinoxes. I much prefer solstices. I mean, the Winter Solstice is neat cuz it means that the days are going to start getting longer. Plus there's all the pagan stuff about re-groth and new beginings when the sun stops sinking. And the Summer Solstice is the longest day of the year, who wouldn't like that?

Happy St Patty's Day

This is a Totally True Story!!!

Hello, my name is not Alice and I'm a pathalogical liar. My older brother, Stan, says that's just a fancy way of saying I'm a big fat liar but since I don't have a brother named Stan, I don't really care. The other day I was waiting at the corner bus stop for the bus to take me down-town and I met the strangest looking stranger I have ever seen in my life. You know how some people look so much like animals that you can easily guess what they were in a previous life (that is if you believe in reincarnation. Myself, I know I was Cleopatra once). This guy looked very rabbittish. He had a short little button nose, squinty little eyes and a white mustache. Even his ears were a little longer than they should have been. I couldn't help staring at him. He was wearing a pinstriped suit with a pocket watch and was very out of place in the neighborhood. He asked me where the bus was going I told him down town, by way of the fair grounds and the new library. I don't think he completely believed me, which isn't fair because the bus was going down town. Granted, it was going by way of the aquarium and Liberty Park. Pathalogical lying includes half truths too, I guess. Anyway, as we got on the bus I noticed that he had on one red sock and one white sock. The bus driver said "Fare please Madam" and the man said, "But I already paid my fare."

Hooray for Me

So the little letter thingy I sent into the paper (mentioned in Uneducated Masses) was in the paper today. This makes me think highly of myself, not that I really needed the ego boost. Go look at it and recognise greatness: http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/ci_2606429

Hard Day's Night

Last night I went to see 1964, the Tribute (a Beatles tribute band) with my-cynical-ex-boyfriend Todd. It looked a lot like a date, I mean, he made me dinner first and then we went. But that's not the point. It was a lot of fun, 1964 is a pretty good bunch of Liverpudlian immitators. It's about the closest thing I'll ever get to seeing the Beatles in concert considering half of them are dead (>sniff<, George). They played mostly older stuff. A lot off of Hard Days Night nothing from Abby Road (probably my favorite album) or Magical Mystery Tour and only one or two off of Sgt Peppers, Revolver or Rubber Soul. But, if you're really a Beatles fan, you like the early stuff as well as the old. It was a good time.

Yay Dr Seuss

Vocabumalary

I have a new favorite word. It's totally useless but wicked awsome. Some day I hope to use it correctly in a real conversation. In the mean time, I want everyone to sit back and enjoy the magnificence of this word:

MEGALOMANIACAL

I suppose you might want to know what it means. Well, it's an adjective and it means: "belonging to, exhibiting, or affected with megalomania." I guess for that to make sense one needs to know that megalomania is "A psychopathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence" or "An obsession with grandiose or extravagant things or actions." Now, can you see why it might be hard to slip my fabulous word into casual conversation?

Uneducated Masses

So, I'm reading the Trib this morning and I'm scanning the opinion page and my eye lands on this bit of tripe:

Brainwashed Students

Each year in America, thousands of young people enroll in colleges in pursuit of knowledge which will hopefully enhance their lives and enable them to contribute to society in a positive manner. Unfortunately, many of them will be exposed to radical socialist professors who brainwash their young, naive, gullible minds with distorted information. As a result large numbers of people are being dumped into our society who are very anti-American with flawed educations and dubious worth to themselves and our nation.
Manfred J. Nelson
Salt Lake City


Needless to say, I was a bit offended. So, being one to take very little sitting down, I decided to write a response. I just finished sending it into the Trib. This is what I wrote:

In response to Manfred J Nelson’s rant on the brainwashing of college students (Forum, March 6), I feel compelled to stand up for myself and my peers. I like to think than my mind is neither naïve nor especially gullible, as Nelson stated. My college experience this far has helped me develop and fine-tune my analytical thinking and my ability to recognize empty rhetoric. Far from being brainwashed in college, I’m learning to think for myself and guard my mind from the careless opinions of others. Last time I checked thinking was not an ‘anti-American’ activity.


There was so much more I could have said, but I felt that keeping it consise and to the point was more poignant. But, honestly, what does Nelson want? a country overrun by idiots? He should lock himself up and throw away the key, that way he wont be exposed to 'radical socialist' ideas. Anyway, by the time most people get to college, they have already made up thier minds about their politics and such. And in Utah anyway they're more likely to get their heads filled with uber-conservative bull shit than anything else. I don't like this Nelson guy!!!

Goober twins: Cosmo on the left, Rosie on the right. They think they're cute

Gooberrific

I'm house-sitting my Grandma's condo this week. She has two very spoiled kitties who can't be left alone for too long. Well, they can, but they don't like it and, like I said, they are very spoiled. They really are sweet felines though, I call them the Goober Twins. They don't look like twins, but they did come from the same littler. Cosmo is huge and fat and an attention whore. You can't sit down without him jumping in your lap. He's got some siamese in him too, so if you do something he doesn't approve of you REALLY hear about it. Rosie, his sister, is a sweet little calico. She's more aloof and wild than Cos. When she does decide to be a nice 'lap' cat, she prefers to sit on either my chin or neck. She's a good little goober. Anyway, last night they kept themselves busy by hiding my car keys under a dresser. That made it fun for me when I tried to leave for work and discovered I had no way of unlocking or starting my car. Ok, so I could have broken a window and hotwired it, but that's a little sketch. Anyway, I looked under half the furniture in the condo before I found them. Cosmo and Rosie followed me around and were rewarded by many little baubles they had hidden under various couches and bookshelves. It'll all be back under furnature by the time I get back there.