I've added something else to my list of why my job sucks (I didn't quit yet, by the way, though I sometimes have to wonder why). It inspires non-confidence. Today I had the very arduous task of updating the company phone directory because a bunch of the guys downstairs moved their offices and have new extensions. It's not a hard thing to do, really. I just, you know, talked to the guys downstairs and e-mailed an updated phone list to everyone. A few hours after I sent out the e-mail one of the structural engineers called me:
Are you sure [name deleted] is still at 216?
Yes
He's still at 216?
Yes
So they moved the number over there? ([name deleted] moved his office, and his extension moved with him])
Yes
So they have two phones over there now?
Yes
Are you sure?
No, even though I asked both [name deleted] and [other name deleted] about the extensions. You're probably right, it's probably wrong. In fact, I just made up a bunch of numbers for the whole phone list just to fuck with you. Why would I do this? Well, I'm either incredibly stupid or I'm making an artistic statement. But I don't really know. Maybe you should ask El Douche. He will be able to assure you of my inability to accomplish even the simplest of tasks.*
Did I mention that this engineer happens to be El Douche's boss? He's a nice enough guy, but I'm pretty sure that entire department has discussed my every (over-exaggerated) flaw. Thankfully, I think E.D. has mostly kept his opinions mostly to himself, but it's impossible for him to keep quiet about everything.
I get talked down to by a lot of people here actually. I don't know if it has anything to do with El Douche. Probably has more to do with my comply apathy toward the job and my lackluster effort to do anything. I also don't know how much of my unethusiasm is brought on by people treating me like I can't do anything well.
I'm inspired to live up to the expectation that I am completely incompetent. And I'm wondering if I am, perhaps, a little paranoid.
*not what I actually said, obviously. But, my god, it was tempting to respond with something snarky and sarcastic.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
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4 comments:
Yikes. It sounds like they are eating away at your psyche, turning you into what they think you are or want you to be. Get out of there. Get out now! Save yourself. Go work at the library, or - didn't you once say you worked at a science center or an observatory? That sounds cool, go back there. Just walk away - or run!
- Rusty
Rusty has a good point... It may also be that they (and I'm making this guess based on the fact that most of the people you deal with that cause problems for you are male) think you're stupid because you're a woman. You do after all, live in Utah and that state is so malecentric that it makes me want to shit myself.
You are not stupid and in fact I think everyone who says you cannot complete the simple tasks that you are asked to do are total and complete ass-hats.
You guys are making it hard to do the responsible thing (waiting until I have a new job before quitting) here. Perhaps that's ok though. I'm getting a huge tax return, and the bookstore can kind of tide me over. *sigh* It would be much better for my mental health if I left.
Rusty- The library thing is... a very silly system. They can only recruit for the posistions I applied for during certain months, whether or not there is actually any need. If none of the libraries need those positions filled, the people who applied for them just go on a registry which is used anytime to fill jobs that open up. Why does it work this way? Because it's the county and they do things the most difficult way possible. It would be kind of fun to go back to the planetarium, but it's changed a lot since I worked there. I'm not sure would really like to go back. From what I hear about it, it's not much fun to work there anymore.
A- I don't think it has anything to do with gender. You're just mad because you got fired for being a boy. And I know I'm not stupid, but thanks for the support. They are ass-hats.
Ass-hat... I love that word.
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