Crazy Little Thing Called Love

I promised I would post something about my love life and guess what! I'm actually keeping that promise. I'm not going to tell you any juicy details of what is currently going on though. That has potential to be extremely dangerous. I have a great story for you though. Fasten your seat-belts:

Once upon a time I created a profile on a certain dating site. I didn't really expect to meet anyone worth dating, but it seemed like it might be fun. Plus browsing through the profiles provided much entertainment. Then, one day, I received a message from someone... let's pretend his name is Vince*.... I looked at his profile and discovered that we had tons in common. So I wrote back. After e-mailing back and forth for a while, we arranged to meet. It went well, so more meetings were set up.

We ended up dating for a while, not really seriously. I was wary of him being an internet person and we were both a little hesitant to get super involved with a total stranger. I was being really smart about this, people! I SWEAR THERE WERE NO WARNING SIGNS THAT HE WAS BATSHIT INSANE! And he was. This part, where the dating stops, is where the story gets good.

The last time I saw him, we went out to a thing with a couple who lives in Magna. We met up with them at their house and Vince left his car there while we all went off on evening adventures. It was a fun night, things were great, until the end when we said "goodnight" and Vince drove me home. The entire drive (at least a good 40 min, for those of you not familiar with Salt Lake geography) he didn't say more than 3 words to me. The entire drive was either me monologuing or awkward silence.

Of course I asked him several times if something was wrong, why he was being so quiet etc. but never got an answer more than a shrug. I told him flat out that his strange silence was making me nervous. When we finally reached our destination, he walked me to the door, said "it was fun," gave me a quick kiss and walked off. I was baffled.

I decided he was being an idiot. If something was bothering him he had plenty of opportunity to tell me what it was. If he wanted to be pissy and passive-aggressive about something (I couldn't figure out what might have gone wrong) there was nothing I could do about it. However, there's no way I was going to play that game so I decided he could call me when he decided to grow up. I didn't hear from him for 3-4 days so I sent him a couple text messages (he worked at a call center so didn't like phone calls much). They were casual, normal, not-acknowledging-his-immature-antics conversation starters that gave him a way to not be an ass but also

avoid whatever he didn't want to talk about.

He didn't respond. I don't do well with stupid games. I gave him all the attention I could spare for his little tantrum. I figured he could talk to me when he was over it and I would give him a chance to explain himself. He would, of course, need to have a very good explanation.

Three weeks later he contacted me on facebook chat. Yes, facebook. Yes, chat. He was all casual conversation about it too until I called him out on the long silence. He said he hadn't talked to me because he "just didn't have anything to say." In case you're confused, that does not in any way qualify as a good explanation. I ended the conversation soon thereafter because I had better things to do. I may have made a slightly snarky comment about talking to him later if he decided to not disappear again.

I didn't hear from him for about two weeks. Then I got the following message (on facebook again) from him:

I'm sitting here drinking Lev. Thinking about you and absolutely stewing. You make me crazy. I thought it was pills making me paranoid. I liked you, but you were just playing games. I think I'll go vomit now.

That is the exact message. Copied and pasted. I was more than a little shocked. And confused. And angry that he accused me of playing games when he was the one behaving like a 14 year old girl with the social skills of a rutabaga.

I couldn't decide whether it was even worth it to respond - I desperately wanted to defend myself, but he so obviously belonged in a padded cell and Mommy always told me not to talk to crazy people. So the next day I told some friends about it, in order to get a second opinion. They insisted on seeing the actual message and when I showed them we discovered that he had "un-friended" me on facebook.

So I figured the whole ordeal was over. It wasn't worth my time responding to the odd, apparently drug induced (when we were seeing each other there was no mention of drugs, recreational or otherwise) rantings of a strange, strange, person.

Four days latter I got a text message from him. This is, verbatim, the conversation we had:

Vince: hey

Me: I thought I made you vomit

Vince: haha, well ok then. Thanks for removing any doubts i had

Me: Oh, so after your bizzare and, frankly, insulting note and passive aggressive behavior I'm supposed to be ecstatic that you deemed me worthy of a monosyllabic text message greeting?

Vince: Nope you're not suppose to be anything. Stay golden

That's the last I heard from him. The End

*his name is not Vince. Though maybe I should post his real name, and pictures, as a warning to anyone who might read this and happen to be involved with him somehow.