Existential thoughts?

Earlier today I was walking down the street when I happened upon a man. He wanted me to tell anyone who might read this that anything thing I say about him is completely fabricated. Including any information about me meeting him and him wanting me to tell anyone anything. This man was standing under a sad looking tree and wearing a bowler hat. He may or may not have been waiting for Godot.

Story Part Deux

One sunny day, Joanna's neighbor came over to borrow a cup of sugar. Joanna's neighbor was a beetle named Gweneth. As Gweneth was leaving she said to Joanna: "Have you met the new neighbor across the street?" Joanna shook her head. Gweneth said: "His name is Marvin, apparently he's a monkey. I don't know what a monkey thinks he's doing here living among the slimy and crawly, but then again, beetles don't really talk do they? So I guess anything can happen here." Joanna nodded to Gweneth quickly shut the door. A feeling of dread cept over her and she started to shake. Every worm knows that where there are monkeys there can only be bananas. Joanna was going to have to face her most terrifying fear!

Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion to our story. Same worm place, same worm channel.

Story:

Once upon a time in a kingdom far far away there lived a very pretty worm named Joanna. Joanna was like any other worm in most ways. She crawled through dirt and ate whatever it is that worms eat. The thing that made Joanna unique was that she had an abnormal dislike of bananas. She could not bring herself to go withing several miles of a banana, or a banana peel or banana bread or banana muffins or dancing bananas or singing bananas or banana phones or banana bunches or anna banana (her third cousin four times removed on her mother's side). Even the mere utterence of the word "banana" made her dry heave in as much as worms can dry heave. Fortunately for Joanna, her kingdom was very cold so there weren't a lot of bananas about. Once in a while someone would throw a banana peel in a compost heap nearby causing much pain for Joanna, but that didn't happen often.

To Be Continued.....

This is a Totally True Story!!!

Hello, my name is not Alice and I'm a pathalogical liar. My older brother, Stan, says that's just a fancy way of saying I'm a big fat liar but since I don't have a brother named Stan, I don't really care. The other day I was waiting at the corner bus stop for the bus to take me down-town and I met the strangest looking stranger I have ever seen in my life. You know how some people look so much like animals that you can easily guess what they were in a previous life (that is if you believe in reincarnation. Myself, I know I was Cleopatra once). This guy looked very rabbittish. He had a short little button nose, squinty little eyes and a white mustache. Even his ears were a little longer than they should have been. I couldn't help staring at him. He was wearing a pinstriped suit with a pocket watch and was very out of place in the neighborhood. He asked me where the bus was going I told him down town, by way of the fair grounds and the new library. I don't think he completely believed me, which isn't fair because the bus was going down town. Granted, it was going by way of the aquarium and Liberty Park. Pathalogical lying includes half truths too, I guess. Anyway, as we got on the bus I noticed that he had on one red sock and one white sock. The bus driver said "Fare please Madam" and the man said, "But I already paid my fare."