Vroom Vroom

Things are changing rather quickly.

I received the official "Congratulations, you've graduated! The diploma's in the mail" e-mail today. Since classes ended I've been thinking of myself as a graduate (I knew what my grades were and that everything was in order). Still, it's kind of weird to know that it's officially official. I'm not sure there's any point in the last 7 years that I really fully believed I would reach this point. I got me a BA.

To commemorate the official plunge into adulthood... Is this when it happens? Or did it happen already? Is there really a moment when a person becomes an adult? Or does it happen gradually? Will I wake up one day at 50 something and think "well, there's the last bit of childness gone"? God, I hope not. Anyway. The point is I bought a (almost new) car. That's a very grown up thing to do. Here's a picture:

It's a cute car. I love it.

Back to the adult thing. I refuse to wake up and have no childness left. I will never be too old to run through sprinklers. Well, I might have to shuffle through them at some point. Old ladies aren't always much for running.

I'm kind of all over the place with my thoughts at the moment. I should be sleeping, so that doesn't help. I've been at a going away celebration thing of sorts all night. A good friend of mine is heading off to grad school in Ohio. It's going to be weird without him. Or maybe they will be much less weird. He is, after all, one of the strangest people I know.

That's enough for now. I'm going to stop thinking and just dream now.

Are You Still There?

Or perhaps it's more appropriate to ask if I'm still here. But I don't need to ask that question because wherever I am, I am there. Tautology FTW.

I miss writing. The compulsion to write is still present, and there's at least one moment every day that I say to myself, "I should sit down and write as soon as I get home." Of course once I get home, I get right down to not writing.

I have lots of not writing to get done right now, but I thought I'd pop in on my blog and let the internet know that I'm still here. And to catch the virtual world up on my life.

I've just graduated. That's my big news. Well, really, technically, I haven't officially graduated yet. Grades are posted on the 16th. Assuming I've passed all my classes (which I have, with mostly flying colors) that's when I will actually graduate. That's when they'll mail my diploma. The point is, I never have to take another undergraduate class again. Yay!

Other things that have happened in the last... 8 (shit) months:
I went to DC for a Lindy Echange and it was fantastic. Words: Battle of Big Bands.
I've started DJing swing dances. That's fun.
I'm about to (hopefully) start DJing Blues events.
I've become very disappointed with my health/weight and have intentions to fix that.
I've been single all year. But I'm now on kissing terms with a new boy. He's nice, but not terribly exciting. I hope he never has a reason to read this.

I hope I will get around to writing more now that I don't have to worry about class. I've been considering making this blog some sort of themed thing. I like the idea of making it a collection of lists. Or maybe, if I do that, I should start a fresh blog.

Anyway, I miss writing.

Auld Lang Whatever

Well, the end of 2010 has come. Time for reflection and what not.

This year has really been a great one. Granted the last few months have not been spectacular, what with the car being wrecked and I've been in kind of a funk all December. Being dumped sucked some serious balls too.

But those were really the only two really bad things that happened. And the good things that happened this year were really fucking fantastic. I went to LONDON! I got the job that I wanted and it is a good job. I did very well in school this semester... which reminds me, I have to post pictures of the books I made in my Book Binding class. Plus, the boyfriend thing was really nice while it lasted. As crappy as it was when it was over, I was really happy while it lasted. I think that happiness was worth the pain that followed.

I'm not going to do too much reflecting about the year. I think what I've already posted pretty well covers it. 2010 was wonderful! I hope 2011 is just as good if not better. It will be hard to beat London though.

2010 was not a good year for blogging though, was it? Only 23 posts this year. Well, I don't expect that trend to change much. Even with the infrequency of my updates, I've posted more than most of my friends who have blogs. I think it's kind of a dying art. With twitter and facebook facilitating really short updates about the minutiae of our days, blogging seems redundant. And reading more than 140 characters is hard with our shortened attention spans. I'm not giving up on this old girl just yet, but I'm not optimistic that I'll post very often. It may turn into more of a tumblr type blog. I'll just post little things and link and pictures and things. I don't know. I guess we all have to just wait and find out.

Happy New Year everyone!

Everything's Coming Up Roses for You and For Me

The last two weeks I have been living in a bubble of Tremendous Potential.

I'm not going to go into anything specific. I don't want to jinx it. But things on several fronts are going in a really great direction. If the trend continues wonderful changes will be happening in my life very soon.

I think times like this are the very best in life. When the bubble of Tremendous Potential is lingering. The anticipation is delightfully hard to bear, the excitement is palpable, the possibilities are endless. This moment, just before everything goes right (ummm let's hope they actually do go right. I know I can't count on that happening for certain), is a wonderful place to be.

Isn't the time after everything goes right better? No. No it's not. Yes, there is some relief in having everything settled, but once it is there is no more possibility for it to be so much more than it actually is.The time after everything goes right is like the time after you finish a really good book. It's a relief to see that the crisis is over, the characters are living happily ever after, the mystery (if you're reading a mystery) is solved. But you also no longer have that book to read, you have to leave your characters and their lives. You no longer get to wonder what is going to happen because you already know- you finished the book.

What if there are sequels? Shut up! You're ruining my metaphor! 

The bubble of Tremendous Potential is like the very middle of the book. You don't want to put it down because you are so wrapped up in the characters and their world. You want to read as quickly as possible because you can't wait to find out what happens, but you also want to read as slow as you can stand because you want to relish the moment and stay with the characters.

Ok, so the analogy is a little imperfect. When I leave the bubble, I'll still have the same characters in my life and be living in more or less the same world. But it's more the feeling I'm talking about; the excitement and the hope.

As much as I like this moment, I know it can't last. Potential destroys itself if it continues on unfulfilled. I feel very confident that things will go well, but like I parenthetically stated above, I can never be positive. If you feel like crossing your fingers for me if wouldn't hurt anything.

Shiny Shiny Blue-ness

Look! My blog is all pretty and new looking. I decided I should blog in blue. I had to keep the background dark because I've been posting forever in exciting and varied colors. I think it's nice to be able to read the archive. There are a lot of inanities I've thrown out into the void that you might find totally fascinating. If you were really bored. And creepy obsessed. I've been blogging since 2005! Isn't that nuts?

Anyway, enjoy the blue!

I'm busy busy busy getting ready to head off to London! I'm so incredibly excited. I promise I will update this blog at least once a week while I'm there. It's how my parents plan to keep track of what I'm up to, so if I don't keep things updated they will probably assume I'm dead. As much as that sounds like a great prank, I actually like my parents and don't really want to put them through that.

Speaking of parents:

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

I promised I would post something about my love life and guess what! I'm actually keeping that promise. I'm not going to tell you any juicy details of what is currently going on though. That has potential to be extremely dangerous. I have a great story for you though. Fasten your seat-belts:

Once upon a time I created a profile on a certain dating site. I didn't really expect to meet anyone worth dating, but it seemed like it might be fun. Plus browsing through the profiles provided much entertainment. Then, one day, I received a message from someone... let's pretend his name is Vince*.... I looked at his profile and discovered that we had tons in common. So I wrote back. After e-mailing back and forth for a while, we arranged to meet. It went well, so more meetings were set up.

We ended up dating for a while, not really seriously. I was wary of him being an internet person and we were both a little hesitant to get super involved with a total stranger. I was being really smart about this, people! I SWEAR THERE WERE NO WARNING SIGNS THAT HE WAS BATSHIT INSANE! And he was. This part, where the dating stops, is where the story gets good.

The last time I saw him, we went out to a thing with a couple who lives in Magna. We met up with them at their house and Vince left his car there while we all went off on evening adventures. It was a fun night, things were great, until the end when we said "goodnight" and Vince drove me home. The entire drive (at least a good 40 min, for those of you not familiar with Salt Lake geography) he didn't say more than 3 words to me. The entire drive was either me monologuing or awkward silence.

Of course I asked him several times if something was wrong, why he was being so quiet etc. but never got an answer more than a shrug. I told him flat out that his strange silence was making me nervous. When we finally reached our destination, he walked me to the door, said "it was fun," gave me a quick kiss and walked off. I was baffled.

I decided he was being an idiot. If something was bothering him he had plenty of opportunity to tell me what it was. If he wanted to be pissy and passive-aggressive about something (I couldn't figure out what might have gone wrong) there was nothing I could do about it. However, there's no way I was going to play that game so I decided he could call me when he decided to grow up. I didn't hear from him for 3-4 days so I sent him a couple text messages (he worked at a call center so didn't like phone calls much). They were casual, normal, not-acknowledging-his-immature-antics conversation starters that gave him a way to not be an ass but also

avoid whatever he didn't want to talk about.

He didn't respond. I don't do well with stupid games. I gave him all the attention I could spare for his little tantrum. I figured he could talk to me when he was over it and I would give him a chance to explain himself. He would, of course, need to have a very good explanation.

Three weeks later he contacted me on facebook chat. Yes, facebook. Yes, chat. He was all casual conversation about it too until I called him out on the long silence. He said he hadn't talked to me because he "just didn't have anything to say." In case you're confused, that does not in any way qualify as a good explanation. I ended the conversation soon thereafter because I had better things to do. I may have made a slightly snarky comment about talking to him later if he decided to not disappear again.

I didn't hear from him for about two weeks. Then I got the following message (on facebook again) from him:

I'm sitting here drinking Lev. Thinking about you and absolutely stewing. You make me crazy. I thought it was pills making me paranoid. I liked you, but you were just playing games. I think I'll go vomit now.

That is the exact message. Copied and pasted. I was more than a little shocked. And confused. And angry that he accused me of playing games when he was the one behaving like a 14 year old girl with the social skills of a rutabaga.

I couldn't decide whether it was even worth it to respond - I desperately wanted to defend myself, but he so obviously belonged in a padded cell and Mommy always told me not to talk to crazy people. So the next day I told some friends about it, in order to get a second opinion. They insisted on seeing the actual message and when I showed them we discovered that he had "un-friended" me on facebook.

So I figured the whole ordeal was over. It wasn't worth my time responding to the odd, apparently drug induced (when we were seeing each other there was no mention of drugs, recreational or otherwise) rantings of a strange, strange, person.

Four days latter I got a text message from him. This is, verbatim, the conversation we had:

Vince: hey

Me: I thought I made you vomit

Vince: haha, well ok then. Thanks for removing any doubts i had

Me: Oh, so after your bizzare and, frankly, insulting note and passive aggressive behavior I'm supposed to be ecstatic that you deemed me worthy of a monosyllabic text message greeting?

Vince: Nope you're not suppose to be anything. Stay golden

That's the last I heard from him. The End

*his name is not Vince. Though maybe I should post his real name, and pictures, as a warning to anyone who might read this and happen to be involved with him somehow.

This, That and the Other

Gosh it's been a while. I'm not going to make any excuses for why I haven't posted in a long time. You've heard them all before. Besides, it's my blog, I can not write if I want to. At this rate though 2010 will be my slowest blogging year ever. Maybe I need another Job O' Death so I have nothing to do all day at work but write useless stuff for the interwebs.

I'd rather not.

I plan to post a lot when I'm in London, at least once a week. There will probably be pictures. I'm really excited for that trip. I've been doing a little research about possible weekend (or maybe just day) trips to other towns in the UK. I'm definitely going to visit Cardiff (they have a Doctor Who museum thingy - squee!) and Liverpool (Beatles! double squee). If I have time I might hop over to Ireland and kiss the Blarney Stone or something. Even if I don't get to spend a lot of time traveling all over the UK, it's going to be a great trip! I'm so excited. I have a meeting (orientation thing) on Tuesday where I will probably find out a lot more about what we're doing officially with the program. I just might update with more details.

Classes are winding down now. I haven't really mentioned my classes for this semester. I don't really want to get into it now, except to say that they have all been really good classes. I've had fun and I've learned stuff. What more can you ask for?

That's really all I feel like saying right now. My love life has recently been kind of interesting, but I think that may be a whole different post. I promise I won't just be a tease about this. The post will happen. Soon.

But for now, I'm off to do something awesome!

Tally Ho Etc

A few posts back (if you click on the link, it's the second half of the post) I mentioned the summer London program at school. Well, this is just a quick update on that. I totally got accepted! There's still one potential obstacle, but hopefully it will prove not insurmountable. 5 weeks in London = Much Joy!

2009: Year in Review

Ah, the best laid plans of mice and men! I had great intentions to bring you a great blog post looking back at the decade. I also meant to get to this post earlier. It's my traditional look back a the year that is best done on New Year's Day or close to. Well, it's almost a week later and I'm just now getting to it.

I guess I just haven't been motivated to blog.

Anyway, 2009 was not my favorite year. Like anything, it wasn't all bad nor all good. I do feel like this year the bad may have outweighed the good. But I may change my mind. Let's look at the good, the bad, the ugly and the pretty of 2009, shall we?

The Bad (I like to start with the negative and then end on a high note):

• I moved back in with my parents. Yes, I did it for good reasons, and it's not really a bad place to be. Still, it feels like a complete step backwards.
• Rather than completely getting out of debt and saving money, I ran out of money and then some. That's a big part of why I'm back with my parents. I'd like to blame it on the lack of available hours at work or any number of other things. Don't worry, as a human being, I've very good at deflecting blame away from myself. Ultimately there are a lot of things I could have done differently. I'm working on improving the situation, but I'm so broke right now it's not even funny. And I've been that way for a good chunk of the year.
• I'm still subbing. I need a merit job at one library. This one is really not my fault.
• I had to kill my kitty. She was old an sick, and it was the humane thing to do. But she was my baby. That was a very, very sad day.
• My social life kind of fell apart. I think between being broke (which really limits my ability to go out and do things with people) and being busy with school, I managed to neglect some very important friendships. It's kind of hard to put my finger on it exactly. I just feel somewhat dissatisfied with the way things have gone with some of my friends.

The Ugly:

The Pretty:

The Good:

• Obama was elected. Sure, this isn't particularly personal, but I think it's a great thing. Granted, he hasn't fixed everything, in fact, he hasn't really fixed much at all. I'm still optimistic about his presidency.
• I got my head back in the game as far as school goes. Last semester, going full time, I actually did quite well. I feel a new confidence about school. More than that, graduation is in sight! That's a little scary, but also a lot awesome.
• This March marked the 5 year aniversary of my Wegener's being in full remission. I wanted to have a big celebratory party, but didn't. I don't see why I can't do it any time. Even without a party, 5 years is nothing to sneeze at. Here's hoping I can go another 5!
• I learned to tango
• Seattle. MLS Cup Game. Real Salt Lake. 'nough said.

So I guess they're really about even. Maybe 2009 was just disappointing because I expected a lot of it. 2008 was pretty fab, and I wanted the trend to continue. Let's take a look at the goals (not resolutions) I had for the year:

Things to do in 2009:
1. Get a merit position at one of the libraries
2. Get back into hardcore biking shape, and stay there!
3. Improve my lindy. I'd like to get to the point where I feel comfortable seriously entering a contest.
4. Put my monies in order enough that I can afford a place by myself
5. Write regularly and often. Not blog writing or journal writing but Writing writing.
6. Get swing club running and fabulous.

Things to NOT do in 2009:
1. Drink soda
2. Date douchewads (it was a good goal)
3. Go on a mass murdering tour de world (also a good goal, might as well carry it over)
4. Fail at school

Well, the things I meant to do, I didn't really get done. I didn't get a merit position (there haven't been any to get). I totally dropped the ball on biking. The biggest ride I did was 60-some-odd miles. For most people, that wouldn't be too bad, but compared to the epic rides I've done in the past, it's pretty pathetic. I think my lindy has improved, and in August I did enter a Jack and Jill contest. I didn't do very well, but I was way out of my league. I feel pretty good about that one. My monies are far from in order. I haven't written much at all. I did write some for my poetry class, but found it so completely un-inspiring that I hardly did any writing besides assignments. More than that, I didn't blog much or write in my journal. Swing club is... somewhat improved. I have my frustrations about it. There's still a lot that could be done, but I haven't really had the time to do much with it.

I did much better with the things I wanted to Not do. I didn't completely give up soda, but I cut back a lot. I didn't date any douchewads. Of course, I didn't really date anyone at all. I think maybe I should work on that. I didn't murder anyone. I didn't fail at school. So... not bad on that front.

All in all, I guess last year wasn't bad. Nor was it great. It was just a year. Really, what more can you expect? Not every year can be fabulous and at least it wasn't terrible. Maybe it had to be mediocre so that 2010 can be really neat by comparison.

The only thing left for me to do with this post is to set new goals (still not resolutions, because no one ever keeps their resolutions) for this year. Sort of an unofficial goal, I think, will be to actually try to accomplish my goals. I think last year I sort of considered just setting the goals as good enough. I didn't really make a huge effort to keep any of them. This year I want to actually take these seriously and get things done.

Things to DO in 2010:
1. Train for and ride the ULCER
2. Pay off my debt and start saving money
3. Get a merit position at one of the libraries (this year it might actually be possible) OR get another job with benefits
4. Strengthen those friendship that are most important to me.
5. Date someone in a somewhat serious sort of way*

Things to NOT DO in 2010:
1. Fail at school
2. Commit vehicular homocide
3. Build a giant lazer and use it to attempt a global takeover.

*I acknowledge that this may be a difficult goal to acheive. I've been single for a long time. I think I'm ready to try the relationship thing again... emotionally anyway. I grant that living at home with debt up to my eyeballs is not an ideal scenario for starting any romantic endeavor. On the other hand, there's never really a perfect time to start a relationship and if I keep waiting for it I'm going to stay single forever. I don't want to go out with someone just for the sake of dating someone. If I'm going to have a relationship, I want it to be worthwile. I'm not going to force anything, but I also don't want to be completely passive about my love life anymore. Why not go out and try to meet someone? I'm just going to change my tactics a little and see what happens.

Seattle Day Two

Sunday in Seattle started out a little slow. I slept in and when I woke, we had a leisurely breakfast provided by the hotel. Sometime Saturday it occurred to me that the Archie McPhee store was in Seattle and I convinced Dad that we needed to go there. So that's where we headed after breakfast.

I'm not sure most of my readers will understand how freeking awesome this store is. Dave will, but I already geeked out about it to him (read: I gloated that I there). Spend some time on their website though. Now, imagine the store... it has all that stuff plus a bunch of bins of random.

Also, there is bacon:

After Archie McPhee we went to The Experience Music Project and Science Fiction Museum. It's actually two different museums... sort of. They're in the same building, and you just get one ticket for both of them, but they're very separate. The music doesn't really have anything to do with the science fiction. Anyway, that was kind of interesting. the music part had a lot of stuff about the music scene in Seattle, which was interesting. It also had a hall of guitars which showed the evolution of the guitar. The sci-fi museum just had tons of stuff - from books to props in movies to models and Ninja Turtles.

Finally after the museum we headed to Quest Field for the Major League Soccer Cup Game - the whole reason we went to Seattle in the first place. Our little local soccer team - Real Salt Lake - somehow managed rally and make it to this game. RSL was playing LA Galaxy (David Beckham's team). It was such a good game!

If you don't follow soccer, you wont really care if I tell you all about it. If you do follow soccer, you probably watched the game and you know how kick ass it was. All I will say is Real won in sudden death PKs. It was totally intense.

After the game we headed out. We drove all night and arrived back home around noon. It was a really fantastic trip, but I was completely exhausted yesterday and today. And I'm having a hard time keeping straight what day of the week it is.

Here are a couple more pictures for you:

Me at the stadium before the game

proof that we were there

Seattle Day One

Trip to Seattle = Super freeking awesome! Here's what happened:

We left Friday around 2:00 and, with one hour long delay to check out a weird warning light, drove for the next 12 hours. Dad and I alternated who was driving and who slept. We finally pulled into Seattle around 3 in the morning, pulled into a random parking lot, and we both slept for about 4 hours. The car was not the most comfortable place for sleeping, but we managed.

Around 7 we went to breakfast, and visited out hotel. We couldn't check in until 3, but we got a parking permit so we left the car in their lot and walked down to the water front.

We started at Pike's market- you know, the famous one where they throw the fish around. I kind of failed at taking a picture of the fish flying through the air... but here it's about to happen:

really, anticipation is half the fun, right? Anyway, we walked around the market for a while - there were all sorts o

f little shops and fun things to look at. Then we walked along the water front a little more. We spent a lot of time in odd little touristy shops. At one point we past a little food vendor and decidedthat we really should get some fried clams while we were there. I mean, come on, it's not going to get any fresher than that.

they were delicious!

After chowing down our clams, we wandered up to Pioneer Square to take The Underground Tour. Seattle's streets were originally 8-35 feet lower than they are now. The underground tour takes you down to the original side walks to take a look at historic Seattle streets while the tour guides tell funny stories - mostly about shit and prostitution.

See, when Seattle started out people didn't really understand how tides worked. And they, just like we do now, occasionally had to go to the bathroom. These two factors meant that every day at high tide, downtown Seattle was flooded with salt water and raw sewage. The invention of the Crapper (flush toilet) made things even more fun. When everyone got their crappers, they needed a sewer system to hook them up to. So they built one, out of wood, that worked with gravity. That was fine, except at high tide water would flow back up the sewage pipe, pressure would build up and you can guess what would happen when you tried to flush you crapper.

One day Seattle burned down. All of it. It was a great time to start over and solve problems. City guys said "let's raise everything so it wont get flooded every day." Business guys said "I'm not going to pay for it." So the businesses re-built their shops pretty much the way the were before. The City guys raised all the land they owned... city land... so basically the streets. The streets were now 8-35 feet above the sidewalks. Having customers fall down onto the sidewalk, and having to climb up and down ladders to patronize your shop is kind of bad for business. So business owners raised their sidewalks and all the first floors became basements.

This is a picture of a skylight at a corner of the underground sidewalk. Up on the street it just

looks like decorative mosaic tile in the sidewalk. The original skylights were thick, solid pieces of transparent glass. This caused two major problems. 1 - fat people (or people carrying big loads) would walk over the skylight and fall through. 2 - they were transparent. Crowds would gather beneath them to... um... enjoy the views. Local "seamstresses" found them to be a great way to advertise their wares though. The gentlemen below got a sneak preview of what they were offering. They just wrote their prices on the bottom of their shoes.

After the tour, we wandered back to the hotel to check in. As soon as we got to the room, we both kind of crashed - although Dad only napped for about 15 minutes. He believes in the power napping thing. I slept for a good solid 2 hours. Between driving all night and walking around all day, I was pretty damn tired.

We went to dinner at a local pub, and then I went dancing. Seattle has some great dancers, so I thought I should check them out. Funny enough, I actually knew two of the guys there. One was a kid I met at Lindy on the Rocks this summer. The other guy I met last year at the Utah Lindy Exchange. He was just in town for the game too. I guess Disney is right, it is a small world after all.

I have stuff I have to take care of. I'll finish writing about the trip later today, or possibly tomorrow.

This is Just To Say

I'm going to Seattle this weekend for the MLS Cup game. (w00t)

I don't know what the WiFi situation is going to be, but I probably wont be blogging until I get back.

Now I have to go finish packing.

Whirlwind

Oh Man! The last two weeks were crazy! It was all pretty fun, but the part of me that likes to sleep at night is still hiding in the corner pouting.

It all started with a trip to Las Vegas with 12 of my friends for Johnny and Arrakis' bachelor/bachelorette party. Typical Vegas shenanigans ensued. If you saw The Hangover it was... entirely not like that. We did drink a lot. But there were no tigers and we knew where everyone else was most of the time.

For the hen party we went to Thunder from Down Under and it was wicked fun! Super-muscles-blonde-dude pulled Arrakis on stage and put her hand down his pants. The whole things was hilarious and sexy and awesome. After the show we went to LAX - we were on the VIP list so we got to go straight in. There were about 200 people waiting (and giving us dirty looks when we got in before them). It made us all feel important. Besides those two highlights, the weekend was spent drinking and playing penny slots, sleeping through the heat of the day (it was about 110 degrees!) and trying to get 13 people on the same page for doing things.

A few days after Vegas was the wedding. Arrakis and Johnny did almost everything themselves. Everyone in the bridal party was asked to help with setup etc. so we kept pretty busy. The wedding itself was lovely. The post-reception party was really fun.

The day after the wedding I slept off all the wine and champagne I drank. That evening I drove through the night to Denver. Why did I go to Denver? I wen for Lindy on the Rocks! It's an awesome event. Three days of workshops and dancing in a city that is NOT here. Unfortunately I was exhausted Friday and Saturday so I didn't really dance a lot. Sunday I was feeling pretty good, so I did get some good dancing in. Unfortunately, we had to leave at 9:30 Sunday night (before the evening/night dance and the after-dance dance-party) because one of the guys I went with had to be at work. So I drove through the night again.

Now my sleep schedule is completely thrown off. Good news is I don't really have anything super crazy going on for a while. School starts next week, but life is kind of slowing down (I hope) so I will hopefully make a full recovery.

Like Sands Through the Hour Glass

What is this July you speak of? I suppose there has been some time between June and now... in fact there's a lot that has happened. I just didn't manage to blog anything. I promise I'll try to be better. But August is going to be just as busy, if not more so. Part of the problem last month was that I didn't have internet access at my apartment (long, boring story). I was still online occasionally, but usually it was just for a few minutes and at a time when I was uninspired to write anything here.

So... What happened in July that kept me running about and away from the blogosphere?

I went to a BBQ on the 4th of July. The hosts of said BBQ live close to a park that shoots off fireworks, so we just watched the show from their front yard. When the pyrotechnics started, I found myself on a mattress (brought out for viewing comfort) with this kid I will call Finn (because I asked the internet to give him a pirate name, the name it gave him was Cap'n Finn Cannonballs). We cuddled all through the fireworks and made out a little bit afterward. It was a good time. He got my number when I left.

After that BBQ I went to another friend's house and ended up crashing there on a love sac in the back yard. Also sleeping on the love sac was the friend and his roommate. I was the happy middle of an attractive man sandwich. Sadly neither attractive man has much romantic potential for me.

Shortly after the 4th of July, I went to Lagoon with friends. I also found out that Finn was not going to call me within the standard "3 day rule" time limit thing because his Grandmother just died and he was dealing with funeral and family stuff.

Life went on, I was busy with normal stuff - work, dancing... I took a tango class in July. I now know how to dance Argentine Tango. I am multi-talented! I also came down with a really terrible cold which knocked me out for a full week. I'm still coughing a little, but it's getting better.

Finn never did call. A few weeks went by and I got tired of waiting. After discussing it briefly with our mutual friends, I decided that I didn't like the Finn story and wanted to improve the narrative. So I got his number from those friends and called him.

I moved out of my apartment and back into my parent's house. I'm not thrilled to be back here, but have a long list of good reasons to be, if not happy with the situation, at least content. Moving is a tedious, annoying, energy sapping activity.

Last week I met Finn for coffee on Monday. It went well. Friday we were going to go out, but both of us were kind of exhausted from not sleeping the night before and then working all day. We stayed in and watched a movie. It was very nice and relaxing. I'm kind of getting mixed signals from him actually. I won't go into detail here though. My love life is something that deserves its own post - that is if I want to put it on the internets at all.

Those are the highlights of July. The next few weeks I'm going to be insanely busy. I'm going to Vegas next week for a few days. My friend is getting married the week after that. The day after the wedding I'm going to Colorado for Lindy On the Rocks. After all that things should slow down for a week and then school starts.

So that pretty much gets you up to speed on me. I'm sorry I ignored my blog for more than a month. I'll do better in the future, I promise.

Demurest of the Tabby Kind

The last few days haven't been much fun for me. Friday night I was on my way to a jazz concert when I got a phone call from my dad. He told me that my kitty had stopped using the litter box and it was probably time to put her down. She's been sick for a while. She was diagnosed with hypothyroidism about a year ago and treatment hasn't worked. She eats a ton but has been losing weight so she was just skin and bones. The last few weeks she hasn't been grooming herself so her hair had gotten all clumped and matted. This weekend she stopped using the litter box.

Saturday morning Dad called me again and said that we needed an appointment to euthanise her. Our usual vet didn't have anything until today at 4, when I would be at work, and we didn't want to wait too long because she wasn't doing well at all. He called around and found a vet's office that could get us in first thing this morning. So early today I went with Dad to the vet's and said goodbye to my cat.

She was a very good kitty. I got her when I was in 4th grade so she was about 15 years old. That's a fairly long life for a feline. Even though I didn't take her with me when I moved out, she was still very much my kitty. I'm really sad.

I'm not going to say much more because I think I might start crying again if I do. Instead, here are some pictures for you:

All Things Dance

I hope no one has been holding their breath waiting for me to blog about ULX. I had the best intentions to do it, because it was a spectacular weekend, but I was distracted by the inauguration and, you know, life in general.

It's very hard to go from an exchange back to the real world. Never mind that my sleep schedule is still a little skeewompus, but to actually have to do something besides dance is... a little bit of a downer. In an ideal world I would be able to go around to country attending exchanges and workshops and things and not have to worry about anything else. How cool would that be?

I will say that I'm really happy with my experience this year. I met so many amazing people and have hopes of keeping up with them. So I now have contacts around the country so when I do manage to get out of UT, I have people I can meet up with.

It's an odd thing (I'm going off on a tangent here)... All these new friends of mine, it was really cool hanging out with them this weekend. Now most of them are friends on facebook and I'm not quite sure what to do with it. Part of me says I should send them messages and things like that, but it feels... somewhat insincere. I guess small talk in person is much easier for me than over the internets. I'm not sure that's a bad thing. Isn't it better to be less awkward in person than online? I like to think so. Still, any new friendship is going to fizzle if it's not fed, and facebook is the only way to feed some of these. I'm sure I'll manage.

Moving on! Enough about swing (what? there's something besides swing? ... I really do feel that way sometime lately. I've gotten so into it, I feel like I hardly do anything else) I'm not going to talk about Belly Dance! Yes. Booty shaking, shiney, sparkly belly dance.

This weekend I went with three friends of mine, with whom I belly dance, down to Wendover. One of the gals is involved with the VFW and they were hosting a fundraiser for cancer research. As part of that we volunteered to come down and dance. It was a lot of fun! In the twenty minutes or so we were dancing, we collected around $410! Not too shabby.

Now it's all over. My fair city is sitting in the middle of a snow storm, which is really lovely. I love snow like this. The flakes are big and soft and everything is quiet and clean. I'm also glad to be getting actual winter weather. The last few days it's been raining. Rain! in January! Bah!

Where Does the Time Go?

I can't believe it's been this year for two weeks. I've been filling every waking moment with very fun things... and work. Which is not to say that work isn't fun, it's just not super fun. Anyway, I feel like I've done enough in the last two weeks to satifyingly fill four.

Where to start? Last weekend, just on friday, I went sledding, which was awesome. I also went on an amazing date. I was supposed to go skating with my friend, Roy. The weather was really bad though, so we went to dinner and then we went to an archery place and shot bows and arrows. How cool is that? I was like freekin' Robin Hood! Plus it was really awesome just hanging out with Roy. I have an itty-bitty crush on him now, but it's completely rediculous and won't possibly go anywhere. Still, he's a cool kid.

Saturday I worked then I was supposed to go snow shoeing with my friend, Jason, but he flaked - he had committed himself to something which didn't give us enough time to go. But we did hang for a little while. That evening I went dancing.

I worked a lot this past week, and when I wasn't at work I was hanging out with friends, working on stuff for swing club, or getting stuff together for this belly dance thing I'm doing in a couple weeks. I did my usual dance thing on Thursday and made it out to dance at the Skillet on Friday.

Yesterday afternoon I rode around on trax (the local light-rail train system thing) with no pants. It's an ImprovEverywhere thing. I'm not going to say much about it, except that it was wicked fun and a bit chilly.

Last night I went with a friend of mine down to Provo for dancing. BYU has their swing dance there on Saturday nights (which was ok, not much different from the U and not something I would make the trip for by itself). There is also a late night dance from 10:30 to about 2:00 at this little sandwhich shop downtown. That was a lot of fun! I will probably try to get down that way again for that.

That's a quick overview of what I've been up to and things are not going to slow down any time soon. School starts tomorrow so it'll be back to the books. Next weekend is the Utah Lindy Exchange, so I will be busy all weekend dancing there. The weekend after that I going to Wendover to belly dance at a cancer fund raiser thing.

Maybe February will be less crazy.

Another Year Gone By

Hello everybody, welcome to 2009!

I rang in the new year with the most incredible night of dancing. Royal Crown Review played at a local club. People were encouraged to dress up and there was a dance contest (which I entered with my friend Celcey. We were by far the best girl/girl couple in the contest) and great music. The band was really good. Right before the break the bass player and the drummer did solos that absolutely blew the mind. There were tons of good dancers there and the energy was really high. Plus you could actually get a drink, which rarely happens for swing dancing in Utah. Not that it's really necessary to have drinks when dancing, it's just one of those things that makes Utah special. When I went to Lindy on the Rocks in Colorado, every dance had a bar. People had a couple drinks throughout the night, but no one ever got belligerent. It was kind of nice to have that options.

After last night, I'm kind of exhausted and sore today... in that really good way. I also worked 8 hours yesterday so I was on my feet a lot. It's no surprise that my legs feel like they are going to fall off now and, actually, my lower back is pretty tired as well. That said, I'm going over to my parent's for dinner tonight and I'm thinking about walking over there. Best way to cure tired legs is to use them, right?

So, it being the start of the new year and all, I thought about doing an epic year in review post like I did last year, but I really haven't had time. The last few days have been so full of... I don't even know what. Besides the holidays I've been working a lot and playing a lot. It's all been very fun, but I'm getting a little burned out. I feel like almost every day I've left the house at 8 and haven't gotten home until 11 or later. So the whole year in review is out. If you want to know what I did all year, you can go back and read all the little post thingies I did.

I will, however, take a look at my list of things to do in 2008:

Things to do in the new year (not resolutions, mind you. No one ever keeps resolutions):
1. Find a new job.
2. Get into hardcore biking shape again
3. Eat veggies
4. Shrink my "to-read" list... by reading.
5. Make new friends and strengthen the friendships I already have

Things to NOT do in the new year:
1. Date complete douchewads
2. Waste away in my death job
3. Go on a psycho mass murdering tour de world
4. Waste all my time watching TV and adding books to my "to-read" list that I will never get around to because I'm wasting all my time watching TV.
5. Eat meat (that's right kids, I'm going to give the vegetarian thing a try)

I think I've done pretty well for the most part. I did, indeed, find a new job. I quit the receptionist gig and am now doing something that I really love. I rode the MS 150, so I think that counts as getting back into hardcore biking shape. However, after that I kind of slacked. So I got there, but didn't maintain. I have eaten several veggies. I read a lot, but my "to-read" list is longer now than it was before. It's a hazard of working with books.

I have made several new friends and become better friends with those I already had. That's a tricky one though. I think some of my older friends have slipped through the cracks. I still keep up with a few, because they are the best friends I have, but.... If I look at who I was spending most of my time with this time last year compared to now, the dynamic is really different. I think it's mostly due to regular drifting apart. I've gotten so into the dancing thing, and most of the friends I have outside of that just aren't interested. I mean, that's why I started going to the U swing club in the first place. I wanted to meet people who I could go dancing with because none of my friends did it. I'm really passionate about swing, so there's no way I'm going to give it up. It's sad, but it makes sense that if I spend so much time dancing, I'm going to bond more with the people I go dancing with. C'est la vie.

As for what I wanted to not do in 2008... I didn't date any douchewads. I actually didn't really date anyone. I went on a few dates with a few people, but they didn't seem to go anywhere. And you know what, I'm totally ok with that. I've had fun, and I don't need to be with someone to be happy. I'm not saying that I want to stay single, anyone who has read my blog knows that I want to find love just as much as the next gal. I just am in no major hurry. It will come when it comes, meanwhile, I am perfectly content with what I have. Moving on, job o' death is no more, I didn't not mass murder anyone. I don't have a TV. I do watch shows online, but I don't spend too much time doing that. Especially not lately. I really don't miss TV at all. The vegetarian thing totally failed.

I'd say that I did pretty well on my goals for the year. Nine out of ten ain't bad. For 2009 I have a long list of things I would like to do, but don't know how possible they really are. First I want to do the Seattle to Portland Bicycle Ride in July. And, since doing the MS 150 early in the season made my brain say "hey, I don't have anything to train for anymore. I can totally slack off," I think I may do the ULCER again too. (Hey, Aaron, you should come back and do the ULCER with me again). I want to go to a few Lindy Exchanges outside of Utah. Exchanges are so much fun, and the best way to get better at dancing is to go out and dance with good dancers. There are a few good dancers here, but the really brilliant dancers are elsewhere. They all go to the exchanges though. Plus doing that exposes you to all sorts of different styles. I also would like to get a one bedroom place or a studio when our lease is up this summer.

These three big things are high on my list of things I want to do. They're all kind of on the expensive side though, so they may not be possible. I'm definitely going to do the bike rides, and I'd really like to do the apartment thing. I may have to settle for just one exchange though. We'll see. There are other, not big things I would like to do too. So I guess I'll do a list of goals again, just like last year:

Things to do in the new year (still not resolutions. Resolution is a bad word)
1. Get a merit position at one of the libraries (I like the subbing thing, but I wouldn't mind having a steady schedule, and I'm going to need a job with benefits soon)
2. Get back into hardcore biking shape, and stay there!
3. Improve my lindy. I'd like to get to the point where I feel comfortable seriously entering a contest. Yes, I did do a contest last night, but that was just for giggles. Celcey and I knew we wouldn't place or anything. We just thought it was fun.
4. Put my monies in order enough that I can afford a place by myself
5. Write regularly and often. Not blog writing or journal writing but Writing writing.
6. Get swing club running and fabulous.

Things to NOT do in the new year
1. Drink soda
2. Date douchewads (it was a good goal)
3. Go on a mass murdering tour de world (also a good goal, might as well carry it over)
4. Fail at school

I have to say, I think 2008 was a really good year. I'm sure 2009 will be as well. There are lots of things I'm looking forward to. Not the least of which is I will hit the 5 year mark of being in remission in March! My bestest buddie, Arrakis, is getting married in August. Who no what other fabulostiy awaits.

I hope your year has been lovely. I hope your next year will be lovelier still. Happy New Year, my dear and faithful readers!

Burning Ring of Fire

I've had a crazy weekend, but I haven't had a chance to write about it until now. Friday night! I have a story! I even have visual aids. This is it:

First, a map. It's easier if you have some idea of the geography of my neighborhood.



Friday night I went to a "rubiks-cube" party (located at X). That should have been the most exciting thing to happen that night, but it wasn't. I left the party around 12:30 - didn't stay too late because I had work Saturday morning. Because the party was just up the street and around the corner from where I live, I had left my car at home. I set out walking home (along the path of the little grayish-bluish dots... which you may not be able to see very well). When I turned on to the pink street (point !), I noticed a few flashing lights. I was surprised, but not very concerned.

We continued walking. Yes, we. By the way, I was with my roommate and two of our friends. The closer we got to the Point ? the more lights we noticed. The entire pink street was blocked off at that point and we could see at least four fire trucks, plus a couple of cop cars and an ambulance. Naturally by the time we got to ? we were all turning to each other and saying "What the fuck is going on?"

There were 5 fire trucks total parked on the pink street. People were mulling about. Firemen and all the other emergency response people were all over the place. All this is a very strange sight for one o'clock in the morning. I walked up to one of the fire dudes (standing quite near to point !!!) and asked him what was going on. He pointed in the general direction of my apartment (Z) and said "Oh, some apartment building caught fire."

For a second, I panicked. Was it my apartment? Oh shit. I turned down the dark blue street, which leads to my back door, and noticed a crowd of people about where my apartment is. As I got closer, I realised that they were all looking away from my place (at Y). I'm sure I don't have to tell you that I was releived. Eventually I joined the crowd and saw this:


erm... sort of. I didn't actually take a picture Friday night, so this is a recreation, using photoshop, badly. There were some guys with hoses that I didn't bother putting in because I'm lazy. There was also no snow or tarps. But you get the general idea.

It was kind of crazy. I'm really glad it wasn't my place. I watched for a little while from my kitchen, then I went to bed because I still had to go to work Saturday morning. Here's what it looks like now:

















The one on the right is literally the view from my kitchen window. According to the newspaper there were active flames for about 2 hours and over 100 firefighters were there fighting it. The fire was caused by a cigarette butt and started on one of the 6th floor balconies. About 80 people now have to find new places to live. It's going to take about a year to get the apartments in that building repaired to the point that people can live in them again.

People are Strange

Sorry I've been absent for a while. I've been busy getting sick, getting built up and then getting shot down.

Remember my stranger? Of course you do, it's the last thing I wrote about. We're going to call him Joe. After my last blog I resolved to keep more of an open mind about my budding relationship with Joe. I made an effort to stop doubting that he was as fabulous as he seemed. We went out again, twice, and it was fantastic.

I'm not saying that I really got to know everything about him right away. I guess he is essentially still a stranger. But what I have found out is great. And hanging out with him... It's going to sound really stupid and corny... he made me laugh. Hard. The way I laugh with pretty much only with my favorite friends. I'm not sure anyone I've dated before has done that.

I'm not saying it would have work out perfectly or anything. I'm enough of a realist to not expect too much right away. But I did see a lot of potential and things were looking like they were going to keep going really well.

Then Saturday night he blindsided me with the "I just want to be friends speech." Except it wasn't the normal cliche speech. He was right to do it. He's dealing with some shit that would make it really unfair of him to go into a relationship. He just isn't at a place in his life that he could give as much as he took. I know that sounds a lot like the typical lame excuse, but it's just my summation of what he said. He was completely right and kind and... impossible to argue with. What was I going to say? No, I want to date you so I deny you a chance to fix your life first. I want to be in a relationship that is doomed from the beginning because you're not ready for one.

I'm not heartbroken or anything. We weren't seeing each other long enough for any real serious attachment to form. I'm extremely disappointed, and sad to loose something that had such great potential. More than anything I'm feeling a little wiped out by the whole romance thing. I feel like I've just run through one failure after another. Whenever I meet someone I'm interested in, it never goes anywhere. We might have a fun flirtation or a short lived series of dates that lead nowhere. I'm beginning to doubt that I am even capable of connecting with someone on a deeper level.

With Joe I was impressed by something that made me think for a second that I might have found someone with whom I could connect. I guess I still can, but it will have to be as just a friend. Fuck. Whatever potential might be there, any possible romantic relationship has been given the kiss of death. We're off to friend land, a mythical place from which few ever return.

So the morning after Joe and I downgraded our relationship from "dating" to "just friends" I woke up with a fever and a very swollen, very sore throat. The doctor confirmed strep. I spent most of the day sleeping or watching TV at my parent's house.

This is the last week of class, which means finals, lots of homework, tying things up. High stress. No fun.

Life kind of sucks for me right now.