Sunday, March 27, 2005

Bunny Time

Easter amuses me. Since I grew up without religion, it has never really meant more to me than free candy and eggs- none of that Chist dying for my sins and then disappearing from his cave. Now, I get the religious part of it but I am delighted at all the pagan fertility symbols that go along with this spring holiday. I mean, eggs and bunnies, does it get more sexified? It such a contridiction of the holier-than-thou-don't-sin religion thing and the pagan woo-hoo-it's-spring-let's-make-babies. I love it.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Gosh Darn it All

Don't you just hate it when you go to the doctor and he says that you look just fine but he wants to run some tests anyway and so you go down to the lab and they stick a needle in your arm and take out some fluid and then they make you pee in a cup and you go home with a bright freakin' green bandage around your elbow and then a few days later your doctor's office calls and tells you you have iron-deficiency anemia and that you have to take ferrus sulfate but they don't have ferrus sulfate at your local pharmacy so you have to drive all around town to find it and once you have it then you have to take it because as fun as it is getting really dizzy every time you stand up, it's really not that fun and even though you don't really have a problem with ferrus sulfate - it doesn't mess up your digestion like it does with some people- you just dont really like taking pills so then you have to tell everyone about it in a really horrible run-on sentence? Yeah, I hate that.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Spring Time

For those who don't know, today is the first day of spring. Weatherly speaking it doesn't really mean anything. Astronomicaly, however it's important (or something like it). The Vernal Equinox is what happens today. This means that the Earth with it's tilted little axis not pointing away from the sun nor toward it. This makes it so we have almost the same amount of daylight as nightdark (yes, I did make that word up, but it's a good word). Personally though I'm not that whoop-dee-doo for equinoxes. I much prefer solstices. I mean, the Winter Solstice is neat cuz it means that the days are going to start getting longer. Plus there's all the pagan stuff about re-groth and new beginings when the sun stops sinking. And the Summer Solstice is the longest day of the year, who wouldn't like that?

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Happy St Patty's Day

This is a Totally True Story!!!

Hello, my name is not Alice and I'm a pathalogical liar. My older brother, Stan, says that's just a fancy way of saying I'm a big fat liar but since I don't have a brother named Stan, I don't really care. The other day I was waiting at the corner bus stop for the bus to take me down-town and I met the strangest looking stranger I have ever seen in my life. You know how some people look so much like animals that you can easily guess what they were in a previous life (that is if you believe in reincarnation. Myself, I know I was Cleopatra once). This guy looked very rabbittish. He had a short little button nose, squinty little eyes and a white mustache. Even his ears were a little longer than they should have been. I couldn't help staring at him. He was wearing a pinstriped suit with a pocket watch and was very out of place in the neighborhood. He asked me where the bus was going I told him down town, by way of the fair grounds and the new library. I don't think he completely believed me, which isn't fair because the bus was going down town. Granted, it was going by way of the aquarium and Liberty Park. Pathalogical lying includes half truths too, I guess. Anyway, as we got on the bus I noticed that he had on one red sock and one white sock. The bus driver said "Fare please Madam" and the man said, "But I already paid my fare."

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Hooray for Me

So the little letter thingy I sent into the paper (mentioned in Uneducated Masses) was in the paper today. This makes me think highly of myself, not that I really needed the ego boost. Go look at it and recognise greatness:

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Hard Day's Night

Last night I went to see 1964, the Tribute (a Beatles tribute band) with my-cynical-ex-boyfriend Todd. It looked a lot like a date, I mean, he made me dinner first and then we went. But that's not the point. It was a lot of fun, 1964 is a pretty good bunch of Liverpudlian immitators. It's about the closest thing I'll ever get to seeing the Beatles in concert considering half of them are dead (>sniff<, George). They played mostly older stuff. A lot off of Hard Days Night nothing from Abby Road (probably my favorite album) or Magical Mystery Tour and only one or two off of Sgt Peppers, Revolver or Rubber Soul. But, if you're really a Beatles fan, you like the early stuff as well as the old. It was a good time.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Yay Dr Seuss


I have a new favorite word. It's totally useless but wicked awsome. Some day I hope to use it correctly in a real conversation. In the mean time, I want everyone to sit back and enjoy the magnificence of this word:


I suppose you might want to know what it means. Well, it's an adjective and it means: "belonging to, exhibiting, or affected with megalomania." I guess for that to make sense one needs to know that megalomania is "A psychopathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence" or "An obsession with grandiose or extravagant things or actions." Now, can you see why it might be hard to slip my fabulous word into casual conversation?

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Uneducated Masses

So, I'm reading the Trib this morning and I'm scanning the opinion page and my eye lands on this bit of tripe:

Brainwashed Students

Each year in America, thousands of young people enroll in colleges in pursuit of knowledge which will hopefully enhance their lives and enable them to contribute to society in a positive manner. Unfortunately, many of them will be exposed to radical socialist professors who brainwash their young, naive, gullible minds with distorted information. As a result large numbers of people are being dumped into our society who are very anti-American with flawed educations and dubious worth to themselves and our nation.

Manfred J. Nelson
Salt Lake City

Needless to say, I was a bit offended. So, being one to take very little sitting down, I decided to write a response. I just finished sending it into the Trib. This is what I wrote:

In response to Manfred J Nelson’s rant on the brainwashing of college students (Forum, March 6), I feel compelled to stand up for myself and my peers. I like to think than my mind is neither na├»ve nor especially gullible, as Nelson stated. My college experience this far has helped me develop and fine-tune my analytical thinking and my ability to recognize empty rhetoric. Far from being brainwashed in college, I’m learning to think for myself and guard my mind from the careless opinions of others. Last time I checked thinking was not an ‘anti-American’ activity.

There was so much more I could have said, but I felt that keeping it consise and to the point was more poignant. But, honestly, what does Nelson want? a country overrun by idiots? He should lock himself up and throw away the key, that way he wont be exposed to 'radical socialist' ideas. Anyway, by the time most people get to college, they have already made up thier minds about their politics and such. And in Utah anyway they're more likely to get their heads filled with uber-conservative bull shit than anything else. I don't like this Nelson guy!!!

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Goober twins: Cosmo on the left, Rosie on the right. They think they're cute


I'm house-sitting my Grandma's condo this week. She has two very spoiled kitties who can't be left alone for too long. Well, they can, but they don't like it and, like I said, they are very spoiled. They really are sweet felines though, I call them the Goober Twins. They don't look like twins, but they did come from the same littler. Cosmo is huge and fat and an attention whore. You can't sit down without him jumping in your lap. He's got some siamese in him too, so if you do something he doesn't approve of you REALLY hear about it. Rosie, his sister, is a sweet little calico. She's more aloof and wild than Cos. When she does decide to be a nice 'lap' cat, she prefers to sit on either my chin or neck. She's a good little goober. Anyway, last night they kept themselves busy by hiding my car keys under a dresser. That made it fun for me when I tried to leave for work and discovered I had no way of unlocking or starting my car. Ok, so I could have broken a window and hotwired it, but that's a little sketch. Anyway, I looked under half the furniture in the condo before I found them. Cosmo and Rosie followed me around and were rewarded by many little baubles they had hidden under various couches and bookshelves. It'll all be back under furnature by the time I get back there.