Wednesday, November 03, 2010

High Times Hard Times

There are all sorts of clichés and platitudes along the lines of Sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down, The wheel of fate is always turning blah, blah, blah, etc. Well, clichés exist and persevere for a reason. Sometimes life hands you lemonade and sometimes it hands you a big steamy shit sandwich.

Last time I posted about my life (not about LGBT politics) I was swimming in happy. The thing about happy is that it is a very unreliable thing to swim in. When everything was going so well, I made up my mind to enjoy it as much as it is possible to enjoy something and not sit around waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Funny thing about other shoes: they tend to drop anyway.

After about two months of being together, boyfriend dumped me. The thing is, being dumped happens, two months is not really a long time to be with someone, and I may have been more attached than I reasonably should have been. Of course the term "reasonable" and all it's variations never really can be applied to romance. I was very nearly in love with him and when he dropped me I landed hard. I've gotten used to being single again. I'm good at being single. But it was really, really nice to be with someone wonderful.

I moped for a long time after being dumped. Just a few weeks after I really felt like I had really recovered life kicked me in the ass again. Last Tuesday we had unseasonably wintry weather. I was driving home from a dance thing and hit a bad patch of ice and my car started spinning. Don't worry, it eventually stopped spinning... when it slammed into a concrete barrier. I'm un-hurt, as is my passenger. So I guess that's good. My car, on the other hand, is smashed and probably un-savable. 

More bad news: my car is (was?) really old so I only had liability insurance on it, so none of the damage is covered. 

It is very possible to get around without a car. Utah public transportation pretty much sucks (the ten minute drive from my house to work takes just over 45 minutes by bus), but it's do-able. The thing is, I have always been wildly independent. Even more so of late. I like being able to go where I want when I want and not have to rely on other people. Unfortunately, without a car I have to rely on other people to get places. I know I shouldn't mind it that much, and I have people who can drive me around, but it seriously cramps my style.

I might end up buying a clunker for a few hundred dollars. Something that will last me a year or two. That way I could at least get myself around. We'll see. 

Now, on a happier note: I still have my awesome job. I still have very little school left (although I might have to spread out what is left a little longer because I don't have time to work, go to school full time and take really slow public transportation from one to the other) and it's going very well this semester. I love my classes. Except Spanish. I don't love that but, well, it has to be done. And it's not bad.

Even the crappy stuff is not really that bad. I like the idea of taking the bus more, and walking places. It's better for the environment and for my health (except when the valley is full of smog, which happens fairly often). I would rather not have been dumped, but... well, I don't mind being single and I don't have a lot of extra time to dedicate to a relationship thing.

There's something about dealing with the shit life give us that kind of lets us know we're really alive. I can't believe I just said that! How cheesy can I get? Still it's true. I'll leave you with a fun song about it. By The Eels. They rock.


Catherine said...

Sometimes it is easier to be happy when one has something definite to complain about :)

Cassie The Great said...

That is true. I would still rather have a car than something to complain about though.