I was hanging out with a couple friends a few weeks ago when one of them observed “If I didn’t believe in God, I would probably kill myself.” He went on to ponder how death is the ultimate solution to life’s hardest problems. Without fear of eternal damnation, why not “take arms against a sea of troubles and, by opposing, end them.” It is the most efficient way to completely avoid problems. You certainly don’t have to deal with them if you are dead. Without an after life who cares what messes you leave behind. They ultimately become someone else's problem.
You also miss out on everything that is amazing in life. There are so many wonderful things that happen on a daily basis. Have you ever noticed how incredible life really is? There are so many moments of pure beauty and joy; surely they outweigh the “slings and arrows of life’s outrageous fortune.”
I can’t seem to help but quote Hamlet. I must admit that I have spent a good deal of time considering the famous soliloquy, and I mostly disagree with the Danish Prince. It is not fear of what lies on the other side of death that keeps me from dying. It is a strong attachment to the beauty of life. A few days ago I lay on the floor with a friend of mine laughing until we cried. If I had died the day before, I would have missed this moments of pure, unadulterated, joy.
Every day there is something amazing to experience. There are so many completely exalting experiences to be had. All it takes is a little attention to notice them. Tiny, barely significant things (raindrops caught in rose-petals, warm sand between your toes, a smile from a stranger, the way the wind plays with a skirt) are absolutely worth living for because they happen a million times a day and they add up to create pure beauty.
I then pointed out to my friend that committing suicide is absolutely the most selfish thing you could possibly do. I was considering the effect that something like that has on the people who go on living. I know a girl who’s boyfriend killed himself right after they graduated high school. The emotional trauma he put her through was phenomenal. She pretty much had a complete nervous breakdown. No matter who you are, there will always be someone who loves you enough that their entire universe will collapse if you kill yourself.
My friend, however, turned my statement back to God. Without fear of divine retribution, why not be selfish? Besides, once you're gone, you don't have to worry about the people you left behind. They are no longer your problem. I didn’t have much to say at the time, but this part of the conversation has really stuck with me. I don’t know if he intended it that way, but he kind of implied that without faith it is impossible to be a good person. The same point was brought up in the class I’m taking this summer. In More’s Utopia there is a very poignant paragraph about how Godless people cannot possibly be useful to society or have any motivation to do good things.
This view makes me extremely uncomfortable. Not only because I only believe in God sometimes, and the God I believe in is indifferent to us mortals. I like to think that I am a strong example of how a person can be a good person without believing in God. The way I see it, there is no reason to treat other people in a manner in which I would not like to be treated. What is the point in making other people suffer? Plus, when you treat others with kindness, you’re more likely to get kindness in return.
It actually terrifies me that the only thing standing between some people and selfish malignancy is fear of God. What happens if those people lose their faith? Isn’t it stronger and more meaningful if someone is good person simply for the sake of being a good person? Kindness becomes superficial when it stems solely from a fear of damnation.
I am probably simplifying the matter too much. Religion is something I really have very little experience with and probably don’t really understand. Still, I cannot believe that without God people would lose all sense of decency. I am rather glad that I have never really developed a strong belief in any deity. I like the fact that any goodness I do stems from me. I can be selfless for completely selfless reasons. Neither Heaven nor Hell come into it.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Storytelling
On my birthday I went to dinner and a movie with my parents. We saw Brothers Bloom, which was really good. It's a con-men caper reminiscient of classic movies. Of the two brothers, Stephen is kind of the mastermind - he plans cons like he's writing a story. The ending is very touching and one of the last lines is this (paraphrased probably. I'm going with memory which is not perfect):
...............What we do now is we live like we're telling the greatest story ever told.
It's a wonderful idea, and a lovely way to end the movie. But how possible is it to really live a great stroy from start to finish? Very few people have the rescources or drive to have a really fascinating plot summary. Those who do seem to die young. Take Errol Flynn, for example. He was born in Australia, got kicked out of several schools, owned a plantation, sailed around god knows where, and was a hollywood star by the time he was 30. He inspired the phrase "in like Flynn," married three actresses (not all at once), developed an addiction to morphine. Adventures ensued on and off screen until he died at 50. And that's just the bare bones of his life. Just the blurb on his book inspires excitement!
My personal plot summary will likely be pretty typical: School, Work, Marriage, Retirement. The only stand out moments will be when I was sick and if something amazing happens (like publishing a book or winning a Tony for my play). In the overall scheme of things, those are pretty small blips in an otherwise ordinary life.
I prefer to live like I'm telling a series of vingettes. The over-arching storyline is not so important. I think it's better that way; to live life like you're telling a series of short stories; a volume of poignant moments that are held together by the overall progression of life. The little moments that fall inbetween the story are the ones worth reading.
...............What we do now is we live like we're telling the greatest story ever told.
It's a wonderful idea, and a lovely way to end the movie. But how possible is it to really live a great stroy from start to finish? Very few people have the rescources or drive to have a really fascinating plot summary. Those who do seem to die young. Take Errol Flynn, for example. He was born in Australia, got kicked out of several schools, owned a plantation, sailed around god knows where, and was a hollywood star by the time he was 30. He inspired the phrase "in like Flynn," married three actresses (not all at once), developed an addiction to morphine. Adventures ensued on and off screen until he died at 50. And that's just the bare bones of his life. Just the blurb on his book inspires excitement!
My personal plot summary will likely be pretty typical: School, Work, Marriage, Retirement. The only stand out moments will be when I was sick and if something amazing happens (like publishing a book or winning a Tony for my play). In the overall scheme of things, those are pretty small blips in an otherwise ordinary life.
I prefer to live like I'm telling a series of vingettes. The over-arching storyline is not so important. I think it's better that way; to live life like you're telling a series of short stories; a volume of poignant moments that are held together by the overall progression of life. The little moments that fall inbetween the story are the ones worth reading.
Monday, June 01, 2009
June is Bustin' Out!
People of Earth, Welcome to June!
On this momentous start of this momentous month, I have officially been alive for a full quarter of a century! See, I have a pie chart to prove it:
Also, since I have a tradition of posting dancing dudes on my birthday:
Ok, so I've used this dude before. But I like him. It's my birthday! I can blog what I want to!
On this momentous start of this momentous month, I have officially been alive for a full quarter of a century! See, I have a pie chart to prove it:
Also, since I have a tradition of posting dancing dudes on my birthday:
Ok, so I've used this dude before. But I like him. It's my birthday! I can blog what I want to!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Popping In to Say Hello
Oh, wow. Did I really only post once this month? I've been terribly neglectful of my blogging duties. Sorry about that internet people. I've had a lot going on.
I always have a lot going on. Somehow I've managed to blog though it anyway.
The craziness that has been going on involves some good and a lot of bad. My iPod died, my computer was nearly-fatally injured and barely came back from the edge of death, I rear ended someone so my car is all messed up, I'm running out of money because there was a long run when there were hardly any shifts available at work, I barely got through my classes, I'm going to have to move back in with Mom and Dad when my lease is up. I wasn't at all happy about that last one at first, but I think it will ultimately be quite good. That way I can actually save money and focus on school. When I finally graduate I may have enough fundage to actually get the hell out of Dodge... erm Utah.
I've also been busy dancing and riding my bike. Not quite as much as I need to be. I'm riding Seattle to Portland in July and I'm no where near in as good of shape as I need to be. I'm taking a class this fall, and work is starting to pick up so I'm getting better hours. Summer is here and life is taking me outdoors.
I promise I will start updating more often. Funny thing is, I've kept a list of topics I want to blog about. I just haven't gotten around to actually getting online and doing it.
Monday I turn 25. Woot.
I always have a lot going on. Somehow I've managed to blog though it anyway.
The craziness that has been going on involves some good and a lot of bad. My iPod died, my computer was nearly-fatally injured and barely came back from the edge of death, I rear ended someone so my car is all messed up, I'm running out of money because there was a long run when there were hardly any shifts available at work, I barely got through my classes, I'm going to have to move back in with Mom and Dad when my lease is up. I wasn't at all happy about that last one at first, but I think it will ultimately be quite good. That way I can actually save money and focus on school. When I finally graduate I may have enough fundage to actually get the hell out of Dodge... erm Utah.
I've also been busy dancing and riding my bike. Not quite as much as I need to be. I'm riding Seattle to Portland in July and I'm no where near in as good of shape as I need to be. I'm taking a class this fall, and work is starting to pick up so I'm getting better hours. Summer is here and life is taking me outdoors.
I promise I will start updating more often. Funny thing is, I've kept a list of topics I want to blog about. I just haven't gotten around to actually getting online and doing it.
Monday I turn 25. Woot.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Special
Today is special because of the way the sun is shining. It's making every Japanese Maple I passed on my way to work the most extraordinary red color.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Fire and Brimstone
I've seem to be having a lot of discussions lately about Absurd plays. I helped one friend with a quick paper on Endgame by Beckett, which was really fun; I loves me some Beckett. I've also had several mini discussions about No Exit by Sartre with another friend of mine. Most of these discussions are prompted by a sign at the gym we've been going to. The sign says (this will be a big surprise) "No Exit" it big, red, cartoonish letters. Very few people, I think, would see that and think "weird existential theater." These minor events have brought to the surface thoughts of the absurd plays I've read, and general pondering of existentialism as well.
I want to talk about No Exit though. That play presents one of my absolute favorite versions of Hell. It's simple. Hell is other people. The three characters (ok, there are 4 characters in the play, but the Valet is only there for a few moments) are stuck with each other and have such personalities that it is impossible for them to get along.
The obvious question to ask now is: Who would be in your own personal Hell?
Who do you know that would make eternity complete torture if you had to spend it with them? In the play, the three people are complete strangers. It's difficult to know how you get a long with an ambiguous set of characteristics. So to answer the question, I say you have to pretty much look to people you've met. Assume that in your personal hell, it would be this person or someone almost exactly like them.
It gets more complicated actually. Not only do the two people you pick have to make it hell for you, but it has to be hell for them too. That part makes it very tricky.
I've given this question more though than I probably should have. I know who my two people would be, and I'm not going to name them here. Seems like that would bring some bad joo-joo down on me.
Person A is a girl I knew in High School. She was actually a very good friend of mine from 7th grade on. Because of our history, and a completely underdeveloped ability to mistrust my friends, I forgave her several betrayals. At some point I finally threw my hands up and cut ties with her completely. I was sick of the drama that seemed to follow her everywhere, and sick of having to watch my back all the time.
She did, however, teach me how I didn't want to be. Her blatant hypocrisy about almost everything made me loathe that in myself and in other people. I think it's impossible for people to not be hypocritical sometimes, but I do my best to avoid it. It's one of the only things I have a really hard time forgiving in other people. Throughout our whole friendship there was a sense of competitiveness with her. There were many times we would both go after the same guy. One time she made a play for a guy just because she thought I liked him. I mentioned the drama that followed her around. Plus the passive-aggressiveness that came from that girl was outstanding!
Person B is... well, it's El Douche. Yes, the ex-boyfriend. Seems too easy, doesn't it. But his appearance in my personal Hell has less to do with the whole relationship thing, and more to do with his personality. It could be him, or someone very much like him, either way, I would suffer immensely.
My biggest beef with him is his hypocrisy. When the relationship ended and when our friendship came to a close, he was incredibly critical of me. Thing is, I could have turned every criticism around and said it back to him and it probably would have been more accurate. His ego constantly twists reality to suit him. Plus, he is one of those guys who feels they have to prove their manhood to whoever they're talking to. He brags, a lot, and exaggerates. I promise this isn't bitter ex talk. Just ask other people who know him.
So I obviously don't like either of these people, but I'm pretty sure they would clash horribly with each other too. Even though I dislike them both for somewhat similar reasons, they each have one thing in common that would make it impossible for them to like each other. Both A and B are completely sure that the universe and everything in it was put here just for them*. The level of self-centeredness contained in each of them would probably rip a hole in the fabric of reality if they got together. In our Hell, they would instantly clash and start fighting about who is more perfectly the center of everything. It would, of course, be a very quiet, passive-agressive fight.
*yes, I know that I can be very ego-centric. I'm blogging from the center of the universe for fucksake. I'm often very full of myself. But I'm also aware of people besides myself. My personal selfishness would probably make things worse of all of us too. God, I hope I don't end up in this hell. Perhaps it's time to start repenting all my sins and "get religion." Or not.
Also, apropos of nothing, we've come up with an awesome band name: Samuel Beckett and the Matadors. We'll play existential indy rock and be super pretentious.
I want to talk about No Exit though. That play presents one of my absolute favorite versions of Hell. It's simple. Hell is other people. The three characters (ok, there are 4 characters in the play, but the Valet is only there for a few moments) are stuck with each other and have such personalities that it is impossible for them to get along.
The obvious question to ask now is: Who would be in your own personal Hell?
Who do you know that would make eternity complete torture if you had to spend it with them? In the play, the three people are complete strangers. It's difficult to know how you get a long with an ambiguous set of characteristics. So to answer the question, I say you have to pretty much look to people you've met. Assume that in your personal hell, it would be this person or someone almost exactly like them.
It gets more complicated actually. Not only do the two people you pick have to make it hell for you, but it has to be hell for them too. That part makes it very tricky.
I've given this question more though than I probably should have. I know who my two people would be, and I'm not going to name them here. Seems like that would bring some bad joo-joo down on me.
Person A is a girl I knew in High School. She was actually a very good friend of mine from 7th grade on. Because of our history, and a completely underdeveloped ability to mistrust my friends, I forgave her several betrayals. At some point I finally threw my hands up and cut ties with her completely. I was sick of the drama that seemed to follow her everywhere, and sick of having to watch my back all the time.
She did, however, teach me how I didn't want to be. Her blatant hypocrisy about almost everything made me loathe that in myself and in other people. I think it's impossible for people to not be hypocritical sometimes, but I do my best to avoid it. It's one of the only things I have a really hard time forgiving in other people. Throughout our whole friendship there was a sense of competitiveness with her. There were many times we would both go after the same guy. One time she made a play for a guy just because she thought I liked him. I mentioned the drama that followed her around. Plus the passive-aggressiveness that came from that girl was outstanding!
Person B is... well, it's El Douche. Yes, the ex-boyfriend. Seems too easy, doesn't it. But his appearance in my personal Hell has less to do with the whole relationship thing, and more to do with his personality. It could be him, or someone very much like him, either way, I would suffer immensely.
My biggest beef with him is his hypocrisy. When the relationship ended and when our friendship came to a close, he was incredibly critical of me. Thing is, I could have turned every criticism around and said it back to him and it probably would have been more accurate. His ego constantly twists reality to suit him. Plus, he is one of those guys who feels they have to prove their manhood to whoever they're talking to. He brags, a lot, and exaggerates. I promise this isn't bitter ex talk. Just ask other people who know him.
So I obviously don't like either of these people, but I'm pretty sure they would clash horribly with each other too. Even though I dislike them both for somewhat similar reasons, they each have one thing in common that would make it impossible for them to like each other. Both A and B are completely sure that the universe and everything in it was put here just for them*. The level of self-centeredness contained in each of them would probably rip a hole in the fabric of reality if they got together. In our Hell, they would instantly clash and start fighting about who is more perfectly the center of everything. It would, of course, be a very quiet, passive-agressive fight.
*yes, I know that I can be very ego-centric. I'm blogging from the center of the universe for fucksake. I'm often very full of myself. But I'm also aware of people besides myself. My personal selfishness would probably make things worse of all of us too. God, I hope I don't end up in this hell. Perhaps it's time to start repenting all my sins and "get religion." Or not.
Also, apropos of nothing, we've come up with an awesome band name: Samuel Beckett and the Matadors. We'll play existential indy rock and be super pretentious.
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Wild Windy Walruses
Oh hello internet people. You're still here. Sorry I haven't posted lately; I have several excuses that you are probably not at all interested in hearing. This is not even a real post, sorry. It's just a collection of interesting things I have discovered in the online universe. By the way, I have named the internet. I didn't do it alone, I had the help of my friends Vanessa and Jake. The internet's name is Ivanovitch Malcolm Gore... I'm not sure why I felt the need to share that with you right now. Anyway, here are some neat things that Ivan can tell you about:
Remember the songs that used to be so awesome, and now you hardly ever listen to them anymore? I haven't made it through all the songs posted, but some of them so far I haven't heard of. Most of them make me smile with a glimmer of nostalgia in my eye.
Somebody has made the stories of everyone she ever kissed a matter of public record. It's strangely fascinating in a very voyeuristic way. Actually it has inspired a writing project for me. I'm now working on a series of short stories about everyone I've kissed. Remembering them is the easy part- I have actually written down the name of every single person I've kissed. The tricky part is actually making each story read as a story rather than a blog post or essay kind of thing. It's a fun exercise.
Book shelves made of books. I want.
Speaking of books, anyone up for a trip to NY? I need to stay at this hotel!
We'll keep with the book theme... sort of. Books have paper. These are also made of paper. And they are mind blowing awesome.
It occurs to me that most of my readers wont really care about this. I think it's awesome. But most of you kids are not lindy-hoppers so you don't really care about a neat-o lindy blog.
My friend, Jeremy, wrote a song about my other friend, Doug. It's a very silly song. He also made a music video for it. It makes me laugh.
If you ever look at the sidebar, you have noticed that I have started doing the twitter thing. I'm not sure I like it. I think this video is hilarious though. I actually "tweeted" it a while ago. It's still funny now that I'm actually blogging about it rather than micro-blogging... yeah. Here, watch:
Whoa... youtube just gave me all sorts of options for posting this! It was fun. Well, kids have fun with this junk. I promise I'll do a real post soon. Really. I will.
Remember the songs that used to be so awesome, and now you hardly ever listen to them anymore? I haven't made it through all the songs posted, but some of them so far I haven't heard of. Most of them make me smile with a glimmer of nostalgia in my eye.
Somebody has made the stories of everyone she ever kissed a matter of public record. It's strangely fascinating in a very voyeuristic way. Actually it has inspired a writing project for me. I'm now working on a series of short stories about everyone I've kissed. Remembering them is the easy part- I have actually written down the name of every single person I've kissed. The tricky part is actually making each story read as a story rather than a blog post or essay kind of thing. It's a fun exercise.
Book shelves made of books. I want.
Speaking of books, anyone up for a trip to NY? I need to stay at this hotel!
We'll keep with the book theme... sort of. Books have paper. These are also made of paper. And they are mind blowing awesome.
It occurs to me that most of my readers wont really care about this. I think it's awesome. But most of you kids are not lindy-hoppers so you don't really care about a neat-o lindy blog.
My friend, Jeremy, wrote a song about my other friend, Doug. It's a very silly song. He also made a music video for it. It makes me laugh.
If you ever look at the sidebar, you have noticed that I have started doing the twitter thing. I'm not sure I like it. I think this video is hilarious though. I actually "tweeted" it a while ago. It's still funny now that I'm actually blogging about it rather than micro-blogging... yeah. Here, watch:
Whoa... youtube just gave me all sorts of options for posting this! It was fun. Well, kids have fun with this junk. I promise I'll do a real post soon. Really. I will.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
One Two... Get Down
I think we can probably all agree that one of the hardest things in life is "making the first move" in a relationship. This can mean two different things; either asking a person out on a first date, or initiating the kissing thing. From a gender role perspective, both are traditionally the responsibility of the guy, but many of us know that you boys are chicken shit. Often if we girls want to get something done, we just have to do it ourselves. Many guys I've talked to think this is a good thing.
The first incarnation of "the first move" (the asking out), I think is the easy one. How hard is it to go up to somebody (or call, text message, IM, whatever) and say "Hey, there's this thing on this day, do you want to go with me?" It's really not very hard at all. I promise. I've done it several times. In fact, I would say that the majority (though not all) of the first dates I've gone on have been completely due to my own initiative. The way I see it, first dates are really just a way of testing the water - see if the two of you have enough in common to actually spend time together away from a group. Most of the time the first date is a more casual affair and so it's really easy to casually ask about. Plus, if at first you don't succeed, it's just as easy to ask again.
Maybe I cheat because I never ever say "Hey hot stuff, wanna go on a date with me." If that's how you roll, good for you. I'm not really in favor of that approach though for several reasons. First of all, when you ask someone out, it's always better to be specific and have a game plan. "Want to go to this concert on Friday?" is much more effective than "Want to go out sometime?" Second of all, officially labeling something as a Date puts a lot of pressure on both parties. What if you go out and discover that you have nothing in common at all? You still are somehow obligated to act like you're on a date. It adds a weird aspect of formality that I am not a fan of. There are a few other small reasons too, but I don't really feel like going into those.
Anyway I pose the question to you, dear internet users, is it better for the dude or the dudette to do the asking? Does it really matter? And, if the girl asks, should she then expect to have to pay? Concerning the last question, logic tells me yes, but life experience tells me no.
The other possible meaning of "making the first move" is the really scary one. There is much more risk involved in going in for a kiss than in asking a person out. For one thing, it's much easier to recover from a failed invitation than from a rejected pucker.
I would certainly be comforting to know how the other person will react before one goes in for a little lip action. It's often very difficult to judge that though. I guess you always have to option of asking first, but I hate hate hate when guys do that! Seriously. When I am hit with the question "Would it be alright if I kissed you?" I can't help but roll my eyes. I usually say something like "Do whatever you want" which, if I don't want to be kissed, doesn't actually solve the poor boy's problem of knowing how I will react to him trying to kiss me.
I can already hear the argument pertaining to this subject that kisses can just naturally happen. It's true, with the right set up, it can be very hard to tell who really initiates the kiss. I'm sure you've had the moments (they may seem to happen more often when there is alcohol involved) when you're standing fairly close to the object of your affection, you lock eyes, your faces drift closer and closer, suddenly your lips make contact!
It is nice when that happens, and it is sometimes hard to figure out who really went out on a limb and made the move. It had to be one of you though. Someone had to move thier head that extra inch or so to make contact. I promise. I have encountered a few of those magic moments that have ended up being completely fruitless due to the cowardice of one or both parties.
While I have no problem asking guys out, I am very hesitant to initiate kissing. Not that I don't do it, but it happens much less often.
I pose the same question for this situation: Is it better for the Jack or the Jill to take the plunge? Does it really matter? If one takes care of the asking out, isn't it only fair that the other takes the risk on the first kiss?
I think my answer to all these questions is: It all depends on the situation. Therefore, I disallow any of you to use that answer! Ha!
this message has been brought to you by the letter M and the frustrating fact that I have been lying in bed the last 4 hours trying desperately to sleep, because I'm very tired, but not managing to drift off.
The first incarnation of "the first move" (the asking out), I think is the easy one. How hard is it to go up to somebody (or call, text message, IM, whatever) and say "Hey, there's this thing on this day, do you want to go with me?" It's really not very hard at all. I promise. I've done it several times. In fact, I would say that the majority (though not all) of the first dates I've gone on have been completely due to my own initiative. The way I see it, first dates are really just a way of testing the water - see if the two of you have enough in common to actually spend time together away from a group. Most of the time the first date is a more casual affair and so it's really easy to casually ask about. Plus, if at first you don't succeed, it's just as easy to ask again.
Maybe I cheat because I never ever say "Hey hot stuff, wanna go on a date with me." If that's how you roll, good for you. I'm not really in favor of that approach though for several reasons. First of all, when you ask someone out, it's always better to be specific and have a game plan. "Want to go to this concert on Friday?" is much more effective than "Want to go out sometime?" Second of all, officially labeling something as a Date puts a lot of pressure on both parties. What if you go out and discover that you have nothing in common at all? You still are somehow obligated to act like you're on a date. It adds a weird aspect of formality that I am not a fan of. There are a few other small reasons too, but I don't really feel like going into those.
Anyway I pose the question to you, dear internet users, is it better for the dude or the dudette to do the asking? Does it really matter? And, if the girl asks, should she then expect to have to pay? Concerning the last question, logic tells me yes, but life experience tells me no.
The other possible meaning of "making the first move" is the really scary one. There is much more risk involved in going in for a kiss than in asking a person out. For one thing, it's much easier to recover from a failed invitation than from a rejected pucker.
I would certainly be comforting to know how the other person will react before one goes in for a little lip action. It's often very difficult to judge that though. I guess you always have to option of asking first, but I hate hate hate when guys do that! Seriously. When I am hit with the question "Would it be alright if I kissed you?" I can't help but roll my eyes. I usually say something like "Do whatever you want" which, if I don't want to be kissed, doesn't actually solve the poor boy's problem of knowing how I will react to him trying to kiss me.
I can already hear the argument pertaining to this subject that kisses can just naturally happen. It's true, with the right set up, it can be very hard to tell who really initiates the kiss. I'm sure you've had the moments (they may seem to happen more often when there is alcohol involved) when you're standing fairly close to the object of your affection, you lock eyes, your faces drift closer and closer, suddenly your lips make contact!
It is nice when that happens, and it is sometimes hard to figure out who really went out on a limb and made the move. It had to be one of you though. Someone had to move thier head that extra inch or so to make contact. I promise. I have encountered a few of those magic moments that have ended up being completely fruitless due to the cowardice of one or both parties.
While I have no problem asking guys out, I am very hesitant to initiate kissing. Not that I don't do it, but it happens much less often.
I pose the same question for this situation: Is it better for the Jack or the Jill to take the plunge? Does it really matter? If one takes care of the asking out, isn't it only fair that the other takes the risk on the first kiss?
I think my answer to all these questions is: It all depends on the situation. Therefore, I disallow any of you to use that answer! Ha!
this message has been brought to you by the letter M and the frustrating fact that I have been lying in bed the last 4 hours trying desperately to sleep, because I'm very tired, but not managing to drift off.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Big Ol' Stack of Syrupy Goodness
Rainn Wilson is brilliant. If you don't know that already, now you do.
I won't go on about all the funny stuff he does; believe me there's a lot of it.
I want to tell you today about his new website project thingy. It's kind of a fun little make-you-think sight. Go check it out. Right now!
http://www.soulpancake.com/
I won't go on about all the funny stuff he does; believe me there's a lot of it.
I want to tell you today about his new website project thingy. It's kind of a fun little make-you-think sight. Go check it out. Right now!
http://www.soulpancake.com/
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Important Anniversaries
I am so incredibly, completely and unflappably happy! Today officially marks 5 years of full and complete remission for me. That's right, the Wegerner's Granulomatosis has been leaving me alone, without being pushed back with medicine, for 5 full years.
Honestly, it doesn't really change anything. I still have to be careful and see the doctor occasionally etc. 5 years doesn't mean that it wont ever come back. But I feel like it is a very important landmark.
I'm so excited, I could burst! I can't stop smiling, but I also kind of want to cry. Every molecule of air I breathe is like a sundae. Life is so incredibly amazing! If there's one thing I've learned from all this it is that we are so lucky for every single moment of every day.
For those readers who don't know the whole story, I have blogged about it a few times before and to catch up it's just a matter of reading through all those. I recommend starting at the bottom. If you don't have time to read everything, a few years ago I posted the whole story in three installments: One, Two, Three. It's not exactly a small amount of reading, but it will go faster than slogging though everything with the WG tag.
It's really hard to fully express how amazing and important this five year thing is. Some of you, dear readers, have been there with me from the beginning, so I'm guessing you understand. It's almost impossible to tell other people about it and have them get it though. Even so, I want to go up to every person I see and say to them "Guess what! I've been healthy for five years, isn't that great!?" I'm not sure such behavior will go over well.
Of course I'm celebrating. I going out to dinner tonight with my family. Not really doing anything big today, actually. I would throw a big party, but there's snow on the ground and it's had to get all the people I want to include inside one place. This summer though I plan to throw a major celebration. I feel so blessed to have so many people support me the last few years and I want to share with them the wonderful news. So later this year, I will have a big Life party.
Do me a favor, wherever you are: Enjoy the crap out of today!
Honestly, it doesn't really change anything. I still have to be careful and see the doctor occasionally etc. 5 years doesn't mean that it wont ever come back. But I feel like it is a very important landmark.
I'm so excited, I could burst! I can't stop smiling, but I also kind of want to cry. Every molecule of air I breathe is like a sundae. Life is so incredibly amazing! If there's one thing I've learned from all this it is that we are so lucky for every single moment of every day.
For those readers who don't know the whole story, I have blogged about it a few times before and to catch up it's just a matter of reading through all those. I recommend starting at the bottom. If you don't have time to read everything, a few years ago I posted the whole story in three installments: One, Two, Three. It's not exactly a small amount of reading, but it will go faster than slogging though everything with the WG tag.
It's really hard to fully express how amazing and important this five year thing is. Some of you, dear readers, have been there with me from the beginning, so I'm guessing you understand. It's almost impossible to tell other people about it and have them get it though. Even so, I want to go up to every person I see and say to them "Guess what! I've been healthy for five years, isn't that great!?" I'm not sure such behavior will go over well.
Of course I'm celebrating. I going out to dinner tonight with my family. Not really doing anything big today, actually. I would throw a big party, but there's snow on the ground and it's had to get all the people I want to include inside one place. This summer though I plan to throw a major celebration. I feel so blessed to have so many people support me the last few years and I want to share with them the wonderful news. So later this year, I will have a big Life party.
Do me a favor, wherever you are: Enjoy the crap out of today!
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Who Watched the Watchmen?
I did, on Friday. I liked it.
There are enough reviews out there and I don't really feel like adding my own two sense. I agree with most of them anyway so I would just be redundant. I thought it was a good movie. It followed the graphic novel very closely, but a lot of what makes the novel so great just didn't translate to the film. Still, it was visually very stunning. I will probably see it a few more times.
For my friends who have also seen it, and read the book and are totally geeking out about it, I am about to blow your mind:
It makes me laugh. It also makes me scratch my head and say "huh?" My theory is that whoever decided to make this cartoon just looked at the pictures in the book and didn't, you know, read it.
My favorite parts:
Rorschach: "I'm nutty!"
"John can give you cancer and then turn into a car"
Remember how the Comedian is Silk Specter's father? That makes this little show even more disturbing.
Seriously! WTF
There are enough reviews out there and I don't really feel like adding my own two sense. I agree with most of them anyway so I would just be redundant. I thought it was a good movie. It followed the graphic novel very closely, but a lot of what makes the novel so great just didn't translate to the film. Still, it was visually very stunning. I will probably see it a few more times.
For my friends who have also seen it, and read the book and are totally geeking out about it, I am about to blow your mind:
It makes me laugh. It also makes me scratch my head and say "huh?" My theory is that whoever decided to make this cartoon just looked at the pictures in the book and didn't, you know, read it.
My favorite parts:
Rorschach: "I'm nutty!"
"John can give you cancer and then turn into a car"
Remember how the Comedian is Silk Specter's father? That makes this little show even more disturbing.
Seriously! WTF
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Moment of Quiet Reflection
A friend of mine today found himself in an unfortunate situation. I won't go into the details here because it's not my story to tell. He's now stuck in a place that is, physically and figuratively, separate from the world of people who support and care about him. If I were in his shoes I would be terrified and, I imagine, very lonely. I haven't really known him all that long (not even a full year), but my heart goes out to him and I want desperately to help him; I just don't know how.
My little brother is also facing a tough bit of life. His crazy antics have caught up with him and he may have to have surgery on his shoulder or his ankle or both. His injuries are keeping him from doing things he really loves to do, like snowboarding and rock climbing, and the surgery, if it happens, will put many of his future plans on hold. He's having a hard time dealing with it all, and who can really blame him? Our dad asked me to talk to him because I have some experience with extenuating circumstances stepping in to fuck up my future.
My brother asked: "How did you deal with it?"
I told him: "Poorly"
Looking back on the time I took adjusting to life with Wegener's I don't really see much really bright in how I behaved. I lashed out at my family, I flew headlong into living only in the moment, I did my best to ignore my derailed future. It all lead to a major crisis point. Even now I feel like I'm just barely piecing my life back together little by little, with cheap glue so some bits keep falling off even as I stick new ones on.
In retrospect it's easy to see the things I didn't handle particularly well. If I could do it all again with the knowledge that comes with hindsight would I do things differently? I'm not sure I would be able to. So what advice can I give to people facing hard knocks? Don't do what I did. And I can offer a series of cliches that feel empty and trite in my mouth: take it one day at a time; you will be stronger from living through this; this too shall pass.
What can I offer to help my friend? Wise, helpful and heartfelt advise is out. I don't think it would do any good anyway. At times of major crisis people seem to want to do nothing but bombard you with advise, none of which you really want to hear and most of which sounds like the same stupid thing over and over. The best I can offer is to simply let him know that I am thinking of him. If I prayed, I guess I would pray for him. I have always been touched when people have told me that they prayed for me.
My little brother is also facing a tough bit of life. His crazy antics have caught up with him and he may have to have surgery on his shoulder or his ankle or both. His injuries are keeping him from doing things he really loves to do, like snowboarding and rock climbing, and the surgery, if it happens, will put many of his future plans on hold. He's having a hard time dealing with it all, and who can really blame him? Our dad asked me to talk to him because I have some experience with extenuating circumstances stepping in to fuck up my future.
My brother asked: "How did you deal with it?"
I told him: "Poorly"
Looking back on the time I took adjusting to life with Wegener's I don't really see much really bright in how I behaved. I lashed out at my family, I flew headlong into living only in the moment, I did my best to ignore my derailed future. It all lead to a major crisis point. Even now I feel like I'm just barely piecing my life back together little by little, with cheap glue so some bits keep falling off even as I stick new ones on.
In retrospect it's easy to see the things I didn't handle particularly well. If I could do it all again with the knowledge that comes with hindsight would I do things differently? I'm not sure I would be able to. So what advice can I give to people facing hard knocks? Don't do what I did. And I can offer a series of cliches that feel empty and trite in my mouth: take it one day at a time; you will be stronger from living through this; this too shall pass.
What can I offer to help my friend? Wise, helpful and heartfelt advise is out. I don't think it would do any good anyway. At times of major crisis people seem to want to do nothing but bombard you with advise, none of which you really want to hear and most of which sounds like the same stupid thing over and over. The best I can offer is to simply let him know that I am thinking of him. If I prayed, I guess I would pray for him. I have always been touched when people have told me that they prayed for me.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Demurest of the Tabby Kind
The last few days haven't been much fun for me. Friday night I was on my way to a jazz concert when I got a phone call from my dad. He told me that my kitty had stopped using the litter box and it was probably time to put her down. She's been sick for a while. She was diagnosed with hypothyroidism about a year ago and treatment hasn't worked. She eats a ton but has been losing weight so she was just skin and bones. The last few weeks she hasn't been grooming herself so her hair had gotten all clumped and matted. This weekend she stopped using the litter box.
Saturday morning Dad called me again and said that we needed an appointment to euthanise her. Our usual vet didn't have anything until today at 4, when I would be at work, and we didn't want to wait too long because she wasn't doing well at all. He called around and found a vet's office that could get us in first thing this morning. So early today I went with Dad to the vet's and said goodbye to my cat.
She was a very good kitty. I got her when I was in 4th grade so she was about 15 years old. That's a fairly long life for a feline. Even though I didn't take her with me when I moved out, she was still very much my kitty. I'm really sad.
I'm not going to say much more because I think I might start crying again if I do. Instead, here are some pictures for you:
Saturday morning Dad called me again and said that we needed an appointment to euthanise her. Our usual vet didn't have anything until today at 4, when I would be at work, and we didn't want to wait too long because she wasn't doing well at all. He called around and found a vet's office that could get us in first thing this morning. So early today I went with Dad to the vet's and said goodbye to my cat.
She was a very good kitty. I got her when I was in 4th grade so she was about 15 years old. That's a fairly long life for a feline. Even though I didn't take her with me when I moved out, she was still very much my kitty. I'm really sad.
I'm not going to say much more because I think I might start crying again if I do. Instead, here are some pictures for you:
Friday, February 13, 2009
Rusty Made Me Do It
Rusty didn't like my list of completely random things about not me. He threatened to take away my "the great" title. I can't have that. So here you go, a list of 48 random things about me:
1. I have very weird feet. My second and third toes are longer than my big toe, and the next one is just as long.
2. I’ve been searching for the perfect pair of green shoes for a little more than two years.
3. I am completely terrified of yellow jacket wasps.
4. When I can’t sleep I memorize poetry
5. I have Wegener’s Granulomatosis.
6. I used to have a really bad lisp. I’m afraid it will come back someday
7. I own 22 pairs of sunglasses
8. I had back surgery for scoliosis when I was 13.
9. My favorite constellation is Corona Borealis
10. I have been in love with Errol Flynn since I was 6 years old. He is the absolute coolest actor/action hero/all around dude who ever lived.
11. Until I was 17 everyone thought I was older than I actually was. Now they think I’m younger than I am. I think for a while I was in a hurry to grow up; then at some point I decided I wanted to stop. Somehow that seemed to reflect on my physical appearance.
12. I have been in love twice. The first love loved me back. The second did not. They are both married now. The first one doesn’t talk to me anymore. The second does sometimes
13. I have made a point my whole life to not develop a Utah accent. I think I’ve done well. I do, however, sometime slip into a New York accent. I’ve never lived in New York. I’ve visited a few times and my mother grew up there.
14. Because of my back, I can never go skydiving. This is one of the great disappointments of my life.
15. I abhor Valentines Day. I think it is the stupidest, least romantic holiday in the history of holidays. I like it even less when I have a boyfriend. I fully believe romance should be spontaneous. There is nothing romantic about a day set aside just for romance.
16. I think better when I’m walking. If I have something I need to work out, I will go on a very long walk. After I’ve figured it out, I will usually write about it in my journal.
17. I once closed my right middle finger in a door. The fingernail fell off and grew back funny. I also hold my pens oddly because I got used to writing without that finger.
18. I have a list of every guy I have ever kissed, including random one-time drunk kisses. There are 43 names on that list; that is a lot. I like kissing.
19. My eyes change color depending on what I’m wearing. When I wear a certain green shirt of mine, my eyes turn exactly the same color. I like when my eyes are green more than when they are blue.
20. Until recently I’ve never had any long lasting quality friendships. I tend to go from one group of friends to another without even really noticing that I’ve completely made the switch. I think I still do it (I’m kind of in the process of moving into my third group of friends in 5 years), but I’ve kept a few very important friendships from old groups.
21. I never had a best friend until just a few years ago.
22. I am always disappointed with Cajun food. I get excited when I order it and expect to like it a lot, but I never do. I don’t know why.
23. I envy people with strong religious beliefs. They have something special that I think must be very comforting when life gets difficult. I haven’t joined any religion though because I can’t believe the mythologies that are out there. They just don’t make sense to me. I would feel like a great hypocrite going through the motions without actually having faith.
24. I hate, hate, hate romantic comedies. This is a loathing that I has just developed in the last year or two.
25. I am not ticklish anywhere except one spot on my lower back. I am very ticklish there if you do it just right.
26. I believe in reincarnation. I’m not sure there’s really a purpose for it, but I’m positive it happens.
27. I always have my toenails painted
28. I have, at various points in my life, had a crush on six different Newsies (Jack Kelly, Spot Conlon, Mush, Kid Blink, Specs and Dutchy).
29. I never had a crush on a teacher until my freshman year of college when I fell totally in like with my physics professor.
30. I can never remember the difference between lay/lie lain/laid so I usually avoid using those worlds. I always “set the book on the table” rather than “lay the book on the table.”
31. I have proclaimed that I will not date a guy who isn’t taller than me. The guys I’m most attracted to are usually very tall. Most of my boyfriends have been on the shorter side – my height or just an inch or two taller.
32. The night before I started high school, I decided that I was going to keep a journal. I had tried a few times earlier in life, but was never able to keep it up for more than a month or so. Since that day though I have written fairly regularly and now I have 17 full notebooks covering the last 10 years. It’s a great therapy for me. I go a little nuts if I stop writing for more than a couple weeks.
33. Every time someone uses the (non)word “funner” I die a little inside
34. I read my first Shakespeare play (Midsummer Night’s Dream) the summer before 7th grade. I don’t think I understood most of it, but I’ve been mildly obsessed with The Bard ever since and have read 15 of his plays and will undoubtedly read more. Eventually I’m sure I will have read them all.
35. The first CD I ever purchased was Ace of Base The Sign
36. I really enjoy cheese
37. I think humans have a natural tendency toward hypocrisy. I try my best not to be hypocritical. I’m not perfect about it, but I really do try. I will forgive people almost any offense unless it is blatantly hypocritical.
38. I’m usually a very social person and I really enjoy spending time with friends. I also really value my alone time and occasionally have to retreat and spend a day or two by myself reading (or sometimes writing).
39. When I was little I didn’t have imaginary friends, but I had imaginary children. Their names were Zoe (the E is silent) and Cassie (I guess I have always been very self-centered. But if guys can name their kids after themselves, why can’t I? She was like Cassie Jr). They grew up much faster than normal kids. By the time I was 10, Zoe was in jail and Cassie was getting her PhD. They never even called home anymore, such ungrateful kids!
40. I don’t want to have real kids. I’m not completely dead set against it – if I meet the right guy, fall madly in love, and he really wants kids, I can probably be talked into it. The more I think about it though, the less procreating appeals to me. The slew of recent pregnancies among my friends has made me want kids even less.
41. I have names picked out for the kids I don’t want to have: Andromeda (Andi for short) for a girl and Orion (Ryan for short) for a boy.
42. I really hate armpits. I think they are ugly and disgusting. I really hate when people touch mine, not because I’m ticklish there, but because I think it’s gross.
43. I am fascinated with language
44. I have better than perfect vision
45. I collect thimbles.
46. I wrote a wikihow article about walking in high heels. I did it anonymously though so you will never know if you’re reading the one authored by me. Except that I just linked to it. Damn.
47. I frequently have bruises on my legs (and sometimes other places) but I don’t know how I get them. I think I may kick myself in my sleep. More likely, I run into things all the time and forget/don't notice.
48. I’m convinced that I should have been a red head. I think it fits my personality and red hair is actually in my family, not too far back. Unfortunately nature decided I would be a brunette. That’s why they make hair dye.
There! Are you happy now Rusty? Does that have Ooomph? Actually, it was really easy to do. I just copied the list of 100 random things that I'm working on (I'm up to number 75) and erased the ones that were not appropriate. I have family that reads this blog; there are some thing they don't need to know.
1. I have very weird feet. My second and third toes are longer than my big toe, and the next one is just as long.
2. I’ve been searching for the perfect pair of green shoes for a little more than two years.
3. I am completely terrified of yellow jacket wasps.
4. When I can’t sleep I memorize poetry
5. I have Wegener’s Granulomatosis.
6. I used to have a really bad lisp. I’m afraid it will come back someday
7. I own 22 pairs of sunglasses
8. I had back surgery for scoliosis when I was 13.
9. My favorite constellation is Corona Borealis
10. I have been in love with Errol Flynn since I was 6 years old. He is the absolute coolest actor/action hero/all around dude who ever lived.
11. Until I was 17 everyone thought I was older than I actually was. Now they think I’m younger than I am. I think for a while I was in a hurry to grow up; then at some point I decided I wanted to stop. Somehow that seemed to reflect on my physical appearance.
12. I have been in love twice. The first love loved me back. The second did not. They are both married now. The first one doesn’t talk to me anymore. The second does sometimes
13. I have made a point my whole life to not develop a Utah accent. I think I’ve done well. I do, however, sometime slip into a New York accent. I’ve never lived in New York. I’ve visited a few times and my mother grew up there.
14. Because of my back, I can never go skydiving. This is one of the great disappointments of my life.
15. I abhor Valentines Day. I think it is the stupidest, least romantic holiday in the history of holidays. I like it even less when I have a boyfriend. I fully believe romance should be spontaneous. There is nothing romantic about a day set aside just for romance.
16. I think better when I’m walking. If I have something I need to work out, I will go on a very long walk. After I’ve figured it out, I will usually write about it in my journal.
17. I once closed my right middle finger in a door. The fingernail fell off and grew back funny. I also hold my pens oddly because I got used to writing without that finger.
18. I have a list of every guy I have ever kissed, including random one-time drunk kisses. There are 43 names on that list; that is a lot. I like kissing.
19. My eyes change color depending on what I’m wearing. When I wear a certain green shirt of mine, my eyes turn exactly the same color. I like when my eyes are green more than when they are blue.
20. Until recently I’ve never had any long lasting quality friendships. I tend to go from one group of friends to another without even really noticing that I’ve completely made the switch. I think I still do it (I’m kind of in the process of moving into my third group of friends in 5 years), but I’ve kept a few very important friendships from old groups.
21. I never had a best friend until just a few years ago.
22. I am always disappointed with Cajun food. I get excited when I order it and expect to like it a lot, but I never do. I don’t know why.
23. I envy people with strong religious beliefs. They have something special that I think must be very comforting when life gets difficult. I haven’t joined any religion though because I can’t believe the mythologies that are out there. They just don’t make sense to me. I would feel like a great hypocrite going through the motions without actually having faith.
24. I hate, hate, hate romantic comedies. This is a loathing that I has just developed in the last year or two.
25. I am not ticklish anywhere except one spot on my lower back. I am very ticklish there if you do it just right.
26. I believe in reincarnation. I’m not sure there’s really a purpose for it, but I’m positive it happens.
27. I always have my toenails painted
28. I have, at various points in my life, had a crush on six different Newsies (Jack Kelly, Spot Conlon, Mush, Kid Blink, Specs and Dutchy).
29. I never had a crush on a teacher until my freshman year of college when I fell totally in like with my physics professor.
30. I can never remember the difference between lay/lie lain/laid so I usually avoid using those worlds. I always “set the book on the table” rather than “lay the book on the table.”
31. I have proclaimed that I will not date a guy who isn’t taller than me. The guys I’m most attracted to are usually very tall. Most of my boyfriends have been on the shorter side – my height or just an inch or two taller.
32. The night before I started high school, I decided that I was going to keep a journal. I had tried a few times earlier in life, but was never able to keep it up for more than a month or so. Since that day though I have written fairly regularly and now I have 17 full notebooks covering the last 10 years. It’s a great therapy for me. I go a little nuts if I stop writing for more than a couple weeks.
33. Every time someone uses the (non)word “funner” I die a little inside
34. I read my first Shakespeare play (Midsummer Night’s Dream) the summer before 7th grade. I don’t think I understood most of it, but I’ve been mildly obsessed with The Bard ever since and have read 15 of his plays and will undoubtedly read more. Eventually I’m sure I will have read them all.
35. The first CD I ever purchased was Ace of Base The Sign
36. I really enjoy cheese
37. I think humans have a natural tendency toward hypocrisy. I try my best not to be hypocritical. I’m not perfect about it, but I really do try. I will forgive people almost any offense unless it is blatantly hypocritical.
38. I’m usually a very social person and I really enjoy spending time with friends. I also really value my alone time and occasionally have to retreat and spend a day or two by myself reading (or sometimes writing).
39. When I was little I didn’t have imaginary friends, but I had imaginary children. Their names were Zoe (the E is silent) and Cassie (I guess I have always been very self-centered. But if guys can name their kids after themselves, why can’t I? She was like Cassie Jr). They grew up much faster than normal kids. By the time I was 10, Zoe was in jail and Cassie was getting her PhD. They never even called home anymore, such ungrateful kids!
40. I don’t want to have real kids. I’m not completely dead set against it – if I meet the right guy, fall madly in love, and he really wants kids, I can probably be talked into it. The more I think about it though, the less procreating appeals to me. The slew of recent pregnancies among my friends has made me want kids even less.
41. I have names picked out for the kids I don’t want to have: Andromeda (Andi for short) for a girl and Orion (Ryan for short) for a boy.
42. I really hate armpits. I think they are ugly and disgusting. I really hate when people touch mine, not because I’m ticklish there, but because I think it’s gross.
43. I am fascinated with language
44. I have better than perfect vision
45. I collect thimbles.
46. I wrote a wikihow article about walking in high heels. I did it anonymously though so you will never know if you’re reading the one authored by me. Except that I just linked to it. Damn.
47. I frequently have bruises on my legs (and sometimes other places) but I don’t know how I get them. I think I may kick myself in my sleep. More likely, I run into things all the time and forget/don't notice.
48. I’m convinced that I should have been a red head. I think it fits my personality and red hair is actually in my family, not too far back. Unfortunately nature decided I would be a brunette. That’s why they make hair dye.
There! Are you happy now Rusty? Does that have Ooomph? Actually, it was really easy to do. I just copied the list of 100 random things that I'm working on (I'm up to number 75) and erased the ones that were not appropriate. I have family that reads this blog; there are some thing they don't need to know.
Sunday, February 08, 2009
1. 2. 3. 4. a Follow Up
I refused to do the 25 random things about myself (I am working on 100 things though. I've gotten to 65... it's harder than it looks. I don't think I'm going to share that list with the internet). Shan left me this lovely gem in the comments though and I just couldn't resist. It makes me laugh.
Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, make up 25 facts, habits, goals, philosophical principles, recipes, shell scripts, sestinas, web comics, stained glass windows, or rotating bow ties. At the end, choose 25 people to “tag,” which is to say, draw on with cans of spray paint. When you have finished your “tags,” “Twitter” the results to your “Facebook” and run away.
1. You only give money to homeless people if they have an interesting sign
2. Whenever you eat broccoli you imagine that you are a huge monster and you are eating actual trees.
3. You sometimes will follow complete strangers in your car just to see how paranoid they will get about someone following them.
4. When you were six you got a carrot stuck up your nose.
5. You really believe that twisting off an apple stem will tell you the initial of the person you will fall in love with.
6. Your mother was once arrested for assault but the charges were dropped.
7. You eat onions raw, like apples.
8. You occasionally have psychic flashes, but they are always about useless and mundane things, like the color socks your best friend will wear on Tuesday.
9. You wore water wings at the pool until you were 8. When you finally took them off, you discovered you were actually an excellent swimmer and joined a swim team.
10. You spent the summer after high school "liberating" garden gnomes and flamingos. You still have them all stored in your parent's basement.
11. You read all the cartoons in the New Yorker even though you almost never think they're actually funny.
12. You're secretly a big fan of Rick Astley and get a thrill out of being rickroll'd.
13. You have a (very) irrational fear of wearing the color Orange.
14. You spent most of 8th grade wearing all black and listening to your walkman (because ipods weren't around then). People assumed you were listening to goth rock or something, but it was actually KC and the Sunshine Band
15. You have a collection of fast food kid's meal toys from when you were a kid.
16. You never get around to doing laundry until you only have one pair of clean underwear left
17. You are addicted to Barq's Red Cream Soda. You always have one box in your fridge and one in the pantry. When one runs out you start to panic a little and go to the store as soon as you can.
18. You cried when you got home after dissecting a frog in biology class because you felt like you were hurting the frog every time you cut into it.
19. You dyed your hair blonde once and did not have more fun.
20. You have the perfect murder all planned out, you just haven't found someone who deserves to die by your hand.
21. You don't actually see anything wrong with wearing socks with sandals, but you don't do it anyway because your significant other raved at you for an hour last time you did.
22. You were an extra in a Touched By an Angel episode that never aired
23. You don't have pets because you are allergic to dogs, always feel rejected around cats and iguanas are just not very good for petting.
24. You don't go on dates because you are allergic to girls, always feel rejected around boys and hermaphrodites are just not very good for petting.
25. You actually called a number you found written on a bathroom wall. The person didn't answer and you chickened out about leaving a message.
[tagged: Jeremy, Roy, Scott, Bags, Kate, Dave, Aaron, Meagan, Celcey, Doug, Claire, Shannon, Mike, Luke, Alex, Brad, Jake, Meghan, Vanessa, Talia, Sam, Ilya, Jennie, Nick, Alessa)
Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, make up 25 facts, habits, goals, philosophical principles, recipes, shell scripts, sestinas, web comics, stained glass windows, or rotating bow ties. At the end, choose 25 people to “tag,” which is to say, draw on with cans of spray paint. When you have finished your “tags,” “Twitter” the results to your “Facebook” and run away.
1. You only give money to homeless people if they have an interesting sign
2. Whenever you eat broccoli you imagine that you are a huge monster and you are eating actual trees.
3. You sometimes will follow complete strangers in your car just to see how paranoid they will get about someone following them.
4. When you were six you got a carrot stuck up your nose.
5. You really believe that twisting off an apple stem will tell you the initial of the person you will fall in love with.
6. Your mother was once arrested for assault but the charges were dropped.
7. You eat onions raw, like apples.
8. You occasionally have psychic flashes, but they are always about useless and mundane things, like the color socks your best friend will wear on Tuesday.
9. You wore water wings at the pool until you were 8. When you finally took them off, you discovered you were actually an excellent swimmer and joined a swim team.
10. You spent the summer after high school "liberating" garden gnomes and flamingos. You still have them all stored in your parent's basement.
11. You read all the cartoons in the New Yorker even though you almost never think they're actually funny.
12. You're secretly a big fan of Rick Astley and get a thrill out of being rickroll'd.
13. You have a (very) irrational fear of wearing the color Orange.
14. You spent most of 8th grade wearing all black and listening to your walkman (because ipods weren't around then). People assumed you were listening to goth rock or something, but it was actually KC and the Sunshine Band
15. You have a collection of fast food kid's meal toys from when you were a kid.
16. You never get around to doing laundry until you only have one pair of clean underwear left
17. You are addicted to Barq's Red Cream Soda. You always have one box in your fridge and one in the pantry. When one runs out you start to panic a little and go to the store as soon as you can.
18. You cried when you got home after dissecting a frog in biology class because you felt like you were hurting the frog every time you cut into it.
19. You dyed your hair blonde once and did not have more fun.
20. You have the perfect murder all planned out, you just haven't found someone who deserves to die by your hand.
21. You don't actually see anything wrong with wearing socks with sandals, but you don't do it anyway because your significant other raved at you for an hour last time you did.
22. You were an extra in a Touched By an Angel episode that never aired
23. You don't have pets because you are allergic to dogs, always feel rejected around cats and iguanas are just not very good for petting.
24. You don't go on dates because you are allergic to girls, always feel rejected around boys and hermaphrodites are just not very good for petting.
25. You actually called a number you found written on a bathroom wall. The person didn't answer and you chickened out about leaving a message.
[tagged: Jeremy, Roy, Scott, Bags, Kate, Dave, Aaron, Meagan, Celcey, Doug, Claire, Shannon, Mike, Luke, Alex, Brad, Jake, Meghan, Vanessa, Talia, Sam, Ilya, Jennie, Nick, Alessa)
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
1. 2. 3. 4.
I think I've become obsessed with lists. I'm trying to trace the origin of this obsession back to the beginning. When did this seed get planted in my brain? I think I can safely blame my creative writing class last semester. We did a lot of lists. I do know why, but don't feel like explaining it. As a writing exercise for that class, we made our own lists, so I guess that started the ball rolling in my brain.
The subconscious idea of making lists of things was fed by some of the silly websites I look at occasionally. Cracked seems like the obvious contributor to a list obsession, but I think it's been nurtured more by Found Magazine and Post Secret. Not because those sites are particularly list oriented, but because their content reduces a person's story down to something simple, like a postcard or a list.
I adore the idea of that kind of reduction - that concentration of an event or a story into something so concise. I think it makes the story more interesting to leave out more of the details. I love finding to-do lists, either left in library books or posted on Found, and trying to figure out what is going on with the person who made the list. They're even more fun if there is something completely random on that list.
So I have played around a little with fitting life into lists. It's an interesting exercise. With a list you just get a tiny snapshot of something, and if you do it right, that little piece tells a great deal about the whole. Or it leaves a lot up to speculation and makes it more interesting than it actually is. For example (and this is a repeat if you read my twitter... arggg twitter):
Last Sunday Activities:
Laundry
Cheesecake
Football
Harem Pants
That list is a log more fun than my actual day. I went to my parent's house to do laundry, made cheesecake for a dinner party with my belly dance friends, watched a little Superbowl, then went to a dinner party with my belly dance friends (we were going to make harem pants, but never got around to it. We talked about them a lot though). It's more interesting as a simple list because all four items seems completely unrelated. The story becomes more intriguing when you have to fill in the blanks to make it all fit together.
To be fair, I am not the only one obsessed with lists. The internet is too. If you've spent any time online in the last week or so, you may have noticed the list that Ivan (which is what I, along with friends, Jake and Vanessa, named the internet. His full name is Ivanovich Malcolm Gore, just so you know) is obsessed with. Tell me if this rings a bell: "25 random things about me."
This viral phenomenon has taken over facebook and a few blogs. I haven't seen it in e-mail yet, but not many of my friend use e-mail anymore. I haven't done it yet. Not because I think the list itself is not worth doing, but I don't like the viral spreading process. It annoys me when you tell me that I have to do something like pass on a stupid letter/note/post/whatever. I am not the only one who steadfastly refuses to do it, but we holding-outers are few and far between.
There was even an article about it in the NY Times. It's a very interesting article, and it started me thinking about it a little. It's a very interesting article. Go read it. I'll wait.
This is one of my favorite parts:
For most, it seems to be a creative way to indulge in social networking without coming off as needy or shamelessly self-absorbed.
That makes me giggle. How does that not seem self-absorbed? Can someone explain that to me?
The part that talks about it as a writing exercise is really interesting to me though. And I do admit that I have read several lists and found them very fascinating. It is indeed interesting to see "what people reveal when there isn't a particular requirement." I'm thinking of making my own list, just as an exercise for myself. I may even do 100, which the article mentions was probably the original game. Actually, if I do 100 random things about me, I might post it here. After all, I am shamelessly self-absorbed and like to show that off here on my little blog thing.
Don't worry, if I do decide to post a list of my own, I wont require anyone else to make their own.
The subconscious idea of making lists of things was fed by some of the silly websites I look at occasionally. Cracked seems like the obvious contributor to a list obsession, but I think it's been nurtured more by Found Magazine and Post Secret. Not because those sites are particularly list oriented, but because their content reduces a person's story down to something simple, like a postcard or a list.
I adore the idea of that kind of reduction - that concentration of an event or a story into something so concise. I think it makes the story more interesting to leave out more of the details. I love finding to-do lists, either left in library books or posted on Found, and trying to figure out what is going on with the person who made the list. They're even more fun if there is something completely random on that list.
So I have played around a little with fitting life into lists. It's an interesting exercise. With a list you just get a tiny snapshot of something, and if you do it right, that little piece tells a great deal about the whole. Or it leaves a lot up to speculation and makes it more interesting than it actually is. For example (and this is a repeat if you read my twitter... arggg twitter):
Last Sunday Activities:
Laundry
Cheesecake
Football
Harem Pants
That list is a log more fun than my actual day. I went to my parent's house to do laundry, made cheesecake for a dinner party with my belly dance friends, watched a little Superbowl, then went to a dinner party with my belly dance friends (we were going to make harem pants, but never got around to it. We talked about them a lot though). It's more interesting as a simple list because all four items seems completely unrelated. The story becomes more intriguing when you have to fill in the blanks to make it all fit together.
To be fair, I am not the only one obsessed with lists. The internet is too. If you've spent any time online in the last week or so, you may have noticed the list that Ivan (which is what I, along with friends, Jake and Vanessa, named the internet. His full name is Ivanovich Malcolm Gore, just so you know) is obsessed with. Tell me if this rings a bell: "25 random things about me."
This viral phenomenon has taken over facebook and a few blogs. I haven't seen it in e-mail yet, but not many of my friend use e-mail anymore. I haven't done it yet. Not because I think the list itself is not worth doing, but I don't like the viral spreading process. It annoys me when you tell me that I have to do something like pass on a stupid letter/note/post/whatever. I am not the only one who steadfastly refuses to do it, but we holding-outers are few and far between.
There was even an article about it in the NY Times. It's a very interesting article, and it started me thinking about it a little. It's a very interesting article. Go read it. I'll wait.
This is one of my favorite parts:
For most, it seems to be a creative way to indulge in social networking without coming off as needy or shamelessly self-absorbed.
That makes me giggle. How does that not seem self-absorbed? Can someone explain that to me?
The part that talks about it as a writing exercise is really interesting to me though. And I do admit that I have read several lists and found them very fascinating. It is indeed interesting to see "what people reveal when there isn't a particular requirement." I'm thinking of making my own list, just as an exercise for myself. I may even do 100, which the article mentions was probably the original game. Actually, if I do 100 random things about me, I might post it here. After all, I am shamelessly self-absorbed and like to show that off here on my little blog thing.
Don't worry, if I do decide to post a list of my own, I wont require anyone else to make their own.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
All Things Dance
I hope no one has been holding their breath waiting for me to blog about ULX. I had the best intentions to do it, because it was a spectacular weekend, but I was distracted by the inauguration and, you know, life in general.
It's very hard to go from an exchange back to the real world. Never mind that my sleep schedule is still a little skeewompus, but to actually have to do something besides dance is... a little bit of a downer. In an ideal world I would be able to go around to country attending exchanges and workshops and things and not have to worry about anything else. How cool would that be?
I will say that I'm really happy with my experience this year. I met so many amazing people and have hopes of keeping up with them. So I now have contacts around the country so when I do manage to get out of UT, I have people I can meet up with.
It's an odd thing (I'm going off on a tangent here)... All these new friends of mine, it was really cool hanging out with them this weekend. Now most of them are friends on facebook and I'm not quite sure what to do with it. Part of me says I should send them messages and things like that, but it feels... somewhat insincere. I guess small talk in person is much easier for me than over the internets. I'm not sure that's a bad thing. Isn't it better to be less awkward in person than online? I like to think so. Still, any new friendship is going to fizzle if it's not fed, and facebook is the only way to feed some of these. I'm sure I'll manage.
Moving on! Enough about swing (what? there's something besides swing? ... I really do feel that way sometime lately. I've gotten so into it, I feel like I hardly do anything else) I'm not going to talk about Belly Dance! Yes. Booty shaking, shiney, sparkly belly dance.
This weekend I went with three friends of mine, with whom I belly dance, down to Wendover. One of the gals is involved with the VFW and they were hosting a fundraiser for cancer research. As part of that we volunteered to come down and dance. It was a lot of fun! In the twenty minutes or so we were dancing, we collected around $410! Not too shabby.
Now it's all over. My fair city is sitting in the middle of a snow storm, which is really lovely. I love snow like this. The flakes are big and soft and everything is quiet and clean. I'm also glad to be getting actual winter weather. The last few days it's been raining. Rain! in January! Bah!
It's very hard to go from an exchange back to the real world. Never mind that my sleep schedule is still a little skeewompus, but to actually have to do something besides dance is... a little bit of a downer. In an ideal world I would be able to go around to country attending exchanges and workshops and things and not have to worry about anything else. How cool would that be?
I will say that I'm really happy with my experience this year. I met so many amazing people and have hopes of keeping up with them. So I now have contacts around the country so when I do manage to get out of UT, I have people I can meet up with.
It's an odd thing (I'm going off on a tangent here)... All these new friends of mine, it was really cool hanging out with them this weekend. Now most of them are friends on facebook and I'm not quite sure what to do with it. Part of me says I should send them messages and things like that, but it feels... somewhat insincere. I guess small talk in person is much easier for me than over the internets. I'm not sure that's a bad thing. Isn't it better to be less awkward in person than online? I like to think so. Still, any new friendship is going to fizzle if it's not fed, and facebook is the only way to feed some of these. I'm sure I'll manage.
Moving on! Enough about swing (what? there's something besides swing? ... I really do feel that way sometime lately. I've gotten so into it, I feel like I hardly do anything else) I'm not going to talk about Belly Dance! Yes. Booty shaking, shiney, sparkly belly dance.
This weekend I went with three friends of mine, with whom I belly dance, down to Wendover. One of the gals is involved with the VFW and they were hosting a fundraiser for cancer research. As part of that we volunteered to come down and dance. It was a lot of fun! In the twenty minutes or so we were dancing, we collected around $410! Not too shabby.
Now it's all over. My fair city is sitting in the middle of a snow storm, which is really lovely. I love snow like this. The flakes are big and soft and everything is quiet and clean. I'm also glad to be getting actual winter weather. The last few days it's been raining. Rain! in January! Bah!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Proud American
Obama has officially been president for about an hour now.
I listened to his speech on the radio. I would have watched it, but I don't have a television. I know I could have seen it online, but I happened to be in the car on my way to get groceries.
I can't remember the last time I had any faith in my country or the administration.
It's wonderful to have an articulate president. I truly believe that he will be able to do a world of good for our country.
I'm not naive enough to think that he will change things overnight. It's going to be really hard to undo all the things that the Bush administration did. I have faith that Obama can get things done though and that he will change our country for the better.
I suppose there were times when I was little that I was proud to be an American. Patriotism is instilled in us in elementary school, right? I feel like I have never in my adult, or even young-adult (read teenage) years, really truly felt patriotic. The 4th of July has been a nice break from school and work. I always enjoy fireworks, but I scoff at the people parading around in red, white and blue and roll my eyes at the pomp of the patriotic music.
Today I am, for the first time in years, not wishing that I lived in Canada or Europe. I won't say that the grass is suddenly greener on my side of the fence, but I can see the fertilizer and the new seed that will make it lush and verdant again. I am actually happy to be a citizen of the United States today. It's a very strange feeling.
I listened to his speech on the radio. I would have watched it, but I don't have a television. I know I could have seen it online, but I happened to be in the car on my way to get groceries.
I can't remember the last time I had any faith in my country or the administration.
It's wonderful to have an articulate president. I truly believe that he will be able to do a world of good for our country.
I'm not naive enough to think that he will change things overnight. It's going to be really hard to undo all the things that the Bush administration did. I have faith that Obama can get things done though and that he will change our country for the better.
I suppose there were times when I was little that I was proud to be an American. Patriotism is instilled in us in elementary school, right? I feel like I have never in my adult, or even young-adult (read teenage) years, really truly felt patriotic. The 4th of July has been a nice break from school and work. I always enjoy fireworks, but I scoff at the people parading around in red, white and blue and roll my eyes at the pomp of the patriotic music.
Today I am, for the first time in years, not wishing that I lived in Canada or Europe. I won't say that the grass is suddenly greener on my side of the fence, but I can see the fertilizer and the new seed that will make it lush and verdant again. I am actually happy to be a citizen of the United States today. It's a very strange feeling.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Ain't What You Do It's the Way that You Do It
Guess what! This weekend is the Utah Lindy Exchange! You may remember me posting about it last year. It's amazing how much things are different now though.
Last year I had only been dancing Lindy for a few months so I was totally out of my league. Friday night I didn't dance much and even though I danced a lot of Saturday, I was often awkward and not really up to par with most of the leads there. After a year of pretty hardcore dancing, I am a million times better suited for this event.
There are still a few dancers here that I am a little intimidated by. They are seriously brilliant and have been dancing for years. I can really hold my own with most of the leads though. Not only that, but this year guys are actually asking me to dance more than once. Know what that means? That means they think I'm fun to dance with.
Ok, that sounds a little silly, but it's true. A lot of leads will, at the beginning of an event, try to dance with every follow present. They shop around and see who is really fun to dance with and who is not. Naturally they're more prone to dance with the fun girls. For some guys at least, I'm not one of the fun girls.
The really big dance of the weekend is tonight. I'm kind of catatonic right now because I was dancing pretty hard for nearly 11 hours yesterday (wow, when I actually add it all up, it's pretty damn impressive). There were three dances I went to - one in the afternoon, one in the evening and the Late Night, which went until 5. I had to stay because I volunteered to help clean things up. I'm taking it easy this afternoon because I've got about 8 more hours of dancing ahead of me tonight. I don't know if I'll make it til 5 though again.
Also this year, I'm hosting someone. Vanessa is staying on my couch for the weekend and she is pretty cool. Plus she's an amazing dancer.
I'll write more about the weekend later. Now I'm either going to make lunch, or take a nap. I just woke up about an hour ago, so I think lunch makes a little more sense.
Last year I had only been dancing Lindy for a few months so I was totally out of my league. Friday night I didn't dance much and even though I danced a lot of Saturday, I was often awkward and not really up to par with most of the leads there. After a year of pretty hardcore dancing, I am a million times better suited for this event.
There are still a few dancers here that I am a little intimidated by. They are seriously brilliant and have been dancing for years. I can really hold my own with most of the leads though. Not only that, but this year guys are actually asking me to dance more than once. Know what that means? That means they think I'm fun to dance with.
Ok, that sounds a little silly, but it's true. A lot of leads will, at the beginning of an event, try to dance with every follow present. They shop around and see who is really fun to dance with and who is not. Naturally they're more prone to dance with the fun girls. For some guys at least, I'm not one of the fun girls.
The really big dance of the weekend is tonight. I'm kind of catatonic right now because I was dancing pretty hard for nearly 11 hours yesterday (wow, when I actually add it all up, it's pretty damn impressive). There were three dances I went to - one in the afternoon, one in the evening and the Late Night, which went until 5. I had to stay because I volunteered to help clean things up. I'm taking it easy this afternoon because I've got about 8 more hours of dancing ahead of me tonight. I don't know if I'll make it til 5 though again.
Also this year, I'm hosting someone. Vanessa is staying on my couch for the weekend and she is pretty cool. Plus she's an amazing dancer.
I'll write more about the weekend later. Now I'm either going to make lunch, or take a nap. I just woke up about an hour ago, so I think lunch makes a little more sense.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Where Does the Time Go?
I can't believe it's been this year for two weeks. I've been filling every waking moment with very fun things... and work. Which is not to say that work isn't fun, it's just not super fun. Anyway, I feel like I've done enough in the last two weeks to satifyingly fill four.
Where to start? Last weekend, just on friday, I went sledding, which was awesome. I also went on an amazing date. I was supposed to go skating with my friend, Roy. The weather was really bad though, so we went to dinner and then we went to an archery place and shot bows and arrows. How cool is that? I was like freekin' Robin Hood! Plus it was really awesome just hanging out with Roy. I have an itty-bitty crush on him now, but it's completely rediculous and won't possibly go anywhere. Still, he's a cool kid.
Saturday I worked then I was supposed to go snow shoeing with my friend, Jason, but he flaked - he had committed himself to something which didn't give us enough time to go. But we did hang for a little while. That evening I went dancing.
I worked a lot this past week, and when I wasn't at work I was hanging out with friends, working on stuff for swing club, or getting stuff together for this belly dance thing I'm doing in a couple weeks. I did my usual dance thing on Thursday and made it out to dance at the Skillet on Friday.
Yesterday afternoon I rode around on trax (the local light-rail train system thing) with no pants. It's an ImprovEverywhere thing. I'm not going to say much about it, except that it was wicked fun and a bit chilly.
Last night I went with a friend of mine down to Provo for dancing. BYU has their swing dance there on Saturday nights (which was ok, not much different from the U and not something I would make the trip for by itself). There is also a late night dance from 10:30 to about 2:00 at this little sandwhich shop downtown. That was a lot of fun! I will probably try to get down that way again for that.
That's a quick overview of what I've been up to and things are not going to slow down any time soon. School starts tomorrow so it'll be back to the books. Next weekend is the Utah Lindy Exchange, so I will be busy all weekend dancing there. The weekend after that I going to Wendover to belly dance at a cancer fund raiser thing.
Maybe February will be less crazy.
Where to start? Last weekend, just on friday, I went sledding, which was awesome. I also went on an amazing date. I was supposed to go skating with my friend, Roy. The weather was really bad though, so we went to dinner and then we went to an archery place and shot bows and arrows. How cool is that? I was like freekin' Robin Hood! Plus it was really awesome just hanging out with Roy. I have an itty-bitty crush on him now, but it's completely rediculous and won't possibly go anywhere. Still, he's a cool kid.
Saturday I worked then I was supposed to go snow shoeing with my friend, Jason, but he flaked - he had committed himself to something which didn't give us enough time to go. But we did hang for a little while. That evening I went dancing.
I worked a lot this past week, and when I wasn't at work I was hanging out with friends, working on stuff for swing club, or getting stuff together for this belly dance thing I'm doing in a couple weeks. I did my usual dance thing on Thursday and made it out to dance at the Skillet on Friday.
Yesterday afternoon I rode around on trax (the local light-rail train system thing) with no pants. It's an ImprovEverywhere thing. I'm not going to say much about it, except that it was wicked fun and a bit chilly.
Last night I went with a friend of mine down to Provo for dancing. BYU has their swing dance there on Saturday nights (which was ok, not much different from the U and not something I would make the trip for by itself). There is also a late night dance from 10:30 to about 2:00 at this little sandwhich shop downtown. That was a lot of fun! I will probably try to get down that way again for that.
That's a quick overview of what I've been up to and things are not going to slow down any time soon. School starts tomorrow so it'll be back to the books. Next weekend is the Utah Lindy Exchange, so I will be busy all weekend dancing there. The weekend after that I going to Wendover to belly dance at a cancer fund raiser thing.
Maybe February will be less crazy.
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