I just recently went through an ordeal that has me pondering how you guys think. I wouldn't give it a second thought if it weren't almost exactly like something a few of my friends have experienced recently too. I'm not going to go into great detail in any case, to protect the guilty (they might know who they are anyway). The duration of the ordeal, and the specifics of what it involved varied, but it was, in all cases, basically this:
Boy meets Girl, they hit it off, have wicked chemistry. There is some sloppy make-outs and maybe a date or two. Things seem to be going pretty well for a while, there is potential for a real romance, but they're still in the water-testing stage. Neither party is anywhere close to falling madly in love or anything, or necessarily looking to fall madly in love anytime soon. It's just one of those things, just one of those crazy things, one of those bells that now and then rings.
Then all of a sudden, Boy drops off the face of the planet and starts giving girl the cold shoulder. He stops calling. He'll still answer her calls, but won't be much for conversation. If they are together in person, he'll be distant and cold. Basically, he decides to be a big jerk.
I have a friend who was on the Boy side of this situation once, and I (after kicking him for being an ass) kinda got his side of the story. He said that he felt like she wanted more out of the relationship than he was willing to give. He wasn't looking for anything serious, and he thought that she was. I happen to be friends with Girl in that case too, and she was really not looking for seriousness, just some fun. She was annoyed at Boy for being so dumb about it, but she didn't waste any time crying into her pillow about it or anything like that.
In my case, I don't know what Boy was thinking exactly, but I would bet it was something along those same lines. The thing is, I was so far from being serious about him that I was also dating two other guys at the same time. I'm not sure he knew about it (because it's kind of a jerky thing to flaunt boyfriend#2 in boyfriend#1's face), but we had clearly established that we were not serious at all. Still, he started blowing me off and I have a feeling it's for the same bull-shit reason that "I'm looking for more than he's willing to give right now."
Ok, so... why is it that this happens? Do you guys just automatically assume that we gals are crazy into you and looking to get hitched or something? Gender stereotyping? I don't know. Why can't we be expected to want a regular, non-serious, buddy with whom we occasionally swap spit? It's not fair.
I, of course, have to address the way the situation has been handled. Seriously, how hard is it for you guys to give us the heads up about what's going on? And if you just bothered to talk to us about it, you might find out that we're really not expecting anything more than some no-strings-attached fun. Giving the cold shoulder is kinda childish and really annoying. You guys who do this should know better by now. I believe there is a term for this kind of behaviour... now what is it? Oh yeah! Ass-Hole