Avast Ye Scurvey Dogs!

Ahoy maties, today it be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. It be a sad tale, lads, but if I were to partake in this here joyous occasion, I would be forced to walk the plank (so to speak, that is, I'd be fired). So I'll make up for it by typin' like a pirate and sailin' the high seas o' the internets.

Here be some stuff for ye:

You scored as Mary Read, You are very unconventional, you defy the rules as often as you can and like to take as many risks as possible. You will probably end up living happily under a bridge somewhere laughing at all the unsavory deeds you once instigated. Mary Read 92% Captain Jack Sparrow 75% Captain Barbosa 75% Black Beard 75% Dread Pirate Roberts 42% Morgan Adams 33% Long John Silvers 33% Captain James T. Hook 33% Sinbad 33% Will Turner 25% What kind of Pirate are you? created with QuizFarm.com

You are The Quartermaster

You, me hearty, are a man or woman of action! And what action it is! Gruesome,
awful, delightful action. You mete out punishment to friend and foe alike
– well, mostly to foe, because your burning inner rage isn’t
likely to draw you a whole lot of the former. Still, though you may be
what today is called “high maintenance” and in the past was
called “bat-shit crazy,” the crew likes to have you around
because in a pinch your maniacal combat prowess may be the only thing
that saves them from Jack Ketch. When not in a pinch, the rest of the
crew will goad you into berserker mode because it’s just kind of
fun to watch. So you provide a double service – doling out discipline
AND entertainment.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

My pirate name is:

Iron Bess Flint

A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person.
That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person.
Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp.
But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky.
Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Pretty and Witty and Bright

I while ago I sort of mentioned flirting with the FedEx guy. It's totally cliche, I know, but he's kind of cute, and I have to amuse myself somehow when I'm at work, right?

Today when Cute-FedEx-Guy came in to pick up a package he actually hung around and talked to me for about twenty minutes. We talked about school and movies. Not a deep conversation by any means, but enough to move him from random-delivery-boy status to someone-I-actually-know-something-about. I can't decide if this makes him more or less fun to flirt with.

I'm curious though about what made him decide to stop and talk today. We've had short chats before, but nothing really more than small talk. What made him decide to stay and have an actual conversation today? I haven't seen him in a few weeks (he only picks up packages later in the day) and the last time he came in, I think I was kind of busy and didn't talk to him much.

Maybe next time I see him I'll ask his name.

All Right, Mr. DeMille, I'm Ready For My Close Up

Have you ever asked yourself, "If someone were to make a movie of my life, what would it be like?"

If you are one of my friends, there is a possibility that I have asked you, "If someone were to make a movie of your life, who would play you?"

One of my favorite sites for wasting time (Pajiba) posed more of less the same question to its readers which made me think about the subject. I have most of the people in my life cast already, but I never really thought about what movie it would be. There haven't been too many movies that really make me think of my life. And a lot would depend on what part of my life they made the movie about- the saga of my getting sick? My life as it is now (what a boring movie that would be)? My life in high-school? The summer of "The Book" (best summer EVER)?

Let's say, for the sake of argument, that it will be all of the above. An epic movie about the last decade or so of my life. It would start out like Mean Girls, then throw everyone for a loop by suddenly turning into something like an episode of House, but with a nicer doctor. Add a dash of angry teenage rebellion (White Oliander style?), but without drugs or alcohol, and a little bit more medical drama. Fold in a John Hughs type summer, the beginning of Two Weeks Notice and end with The Spanish Apartment (well, I'm not quite there yet, but a little flexibility with the plot is allowed). Spice the whole thing with as much High Fidelity as you can stand. Blend. Serve over ice in a chilled glass.

Was that complicated enough for you? Good.

I would be played by Maggy Gyllenhaal
Supporting roles would go to: (as some of my friends) Sara Silverman, Josh Hartnett, Michelle Rodriguez, Diedrich Bader (as arch enemies) Julia Stiles, Rachel McAdams, Heath Ledger (as family) Ashton Kutcher, Glen Close, Robert Redford, Angela Landsbury, Albert Finney, Maggie Smith. And I'll throw in a completely fictional romantic lead played by either Ryan Gosling or Bret McKenzie.

I hope they don't make this movie. It can't possibly be very good. And I imagine it would be slightly less than flattering to me. Great cast though, eh?

Tell Me All Your Thoughts on God

On my way home from work today I saw a bumper sticker that read like this:

GOD BELIEVES IN YOU - Count of Monte Cristo
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

I'm not mentioning it to get into some religious battle. I just want to point out that the Count of Monte Cristo is not exactly the best literary spokesperson for any religion. Do you really want to promote your faith with an egomaniac who became completely consumed by his desire for revenge? I certainly wouldn't.

As a side note, I saw this bumper sticker just before I heard the Manamana song on the radio ("mashed" with Jet's Are You Gonna Be My Girl). How's that for synchronicity?

Word, Everybody, Word.

I love Fridays. Yes I do. Especially beautiful fall Fridays like today (although it's not technically fall yet, but we're having nice fallish temperatures today in SLC, so I'm calling it fall, so there). Especially especially beautiful fall Fridays when I get paid. Nothing is better than a weekend when I have money.

(Now I want to parenthetically argue with myself about when fall starts. I guess you could say that fall starts after Labor day, in which case it is indeed fall already. Or, as I am wont to do, you can say fall doesn't start until the Autumnal Equinox, which isn't for another week or two. Or you can say that it isn't fall until the leaves start to turn, and who knows when that will be. I'm going to stick with the astronomical version, so my previous parenthetical statement stands)

I only wish I could get out and enjoy the day sometime before 5. Ah the burden of a regular, full time job. I might not mind so much (and actually, I don't really mind all that much anyway) if I had a little more to do. Or if I had a job that I really loved. Maybe I should start looking for another employment. I could just casually apply at the places where I think I would really enjoy working. Like indie bookstores and maybe the library. Getting a job at a library is complicated for me, but that's a whole other blog!

Well, I've gotten so off topic that I don't even remember what I set out to write in the first place. Oh well.

To celebrate the especially wonderfullness of today (being a lovely fall, Friday and pay day), I'm going to post an amusing video.




I couldn't find it without the subtitles. >shrug<

Farewell to Summer

Labor day is the unofficial end of summer, right? Even though school started (for me and many others) two weeks ago, thus ending Summer Vacation, and the weather continues to be impossibly hot, it's time to start thinking autumnal thoughts. So now is the start of swimming pools closing, summer concert series' ending and sweaters showing up in department stores. Labor day isn't really much more than a long weekend. A very good long weekend.

I took advantage of the free day away from work by trekking down to Durango, CO with my dad. It was our convertible/beer trip that we've been meaning to take since I turned 21. We just haven't managed to find the time.

Durango has a couple breweries that make very delicious beer. You have to understand that the beer part of the trip was all about quality, not quantity. We only had three pints each the whole trip. I brought quite a lot of beer home with me though. You can't really get good (not 3.2) beer in Utah. Just don't tell anyone in charge here, it's only slightly illegal to bring foreign beer into the state.

Besides studying the brewing arts of Colorado, Dad and I narrowly missed a meteor shower near Moab, wandered around Mesa Verde for most of Sunday, nearly froze to death (we had the top down and it was about 48°) going from Durango to Silverton and Uray, ate a lot of food and got a little sun. It was a long weekend well spent.

Sometimes a Hippo is Just a Hippo

I had a strange dream last night. I don't remember most of it. It was sort of like one of movies where there are several story lines that you follow. They sort of parallel each other, but are actually related (like Love Actually). Anyway, I just remember bits and pieces of most of the stories, but one scene really stuck in my head.

A small child was eaten by a large hippopotamus.

It was a lot like Jaws but without the shark.

So tell me, Dr Freud, what does it all mean?

Wonderful World of Webnets

I'm not totally sure I'm all that fond of this game. It seemed like a good idea when I started, but I'm kind of not so into it anymore. Mostly because I realized that the stuff I find online is all really dumb. And half the stuff is on the pages over on the left side of this page anyway. I'm not totally sure, but this may be the last installment. Enjoy.

Why go to college when you can just watch the movies?

I seem to have a fondness for stupid people doing really stupid things. In fact, I'm pretty sure this baby would have given a better answer.

I hate it when my shrink forgets to check with the "Sun God "

G&R's editor goes picks apart Sweet Child O' Mine . It's a little grammar joke. I'm a geek. Sue me.

Finally, Pajiba is setting aside their usual snarkiness and raving about classic movies this week. They start with Double Indemnity which is one of my favorite old flicks.

Heartbreaking Tale of Unspeakable Woe

I was sort of half listening to Talk of the Nation on my way back to work from lunch this afternoon when I heard this:

A new poll shows that book sales are flat and that one quarter of Americans don't read books at all.

This makes me so very sad, but it doesn't really surprise me. I read an exorbitant amount, I know. It's possible that I read more than all my friends, but I've never really paid much attention. Reading is not a competetive sort of sport. Several of my friends are certainly avid readers; a book geek like me can't survive without a few other book geeks in their life. I also have many friends who never read, or who have been reading the same book for years (meaning they pick it up every few months and read a chapter or two). Other friends never read fiction at all, and while I am glad they are getting their noses into books, I feel like they are really missing out by sticking to biographies, essays and text books.

There is something truly amazing about reading a good novel. There is nothing quite like picking up a book, cracking open the cover, and then losing yourself in a world completely unlike your own. I sometimes get a little too into the book I'm reading, actually. I'll take on certain characteristics of the protagonist, or pick up mannerisms from the characters. I also find myself relating things in life to "a book I read once" several times a day. I tend not to mention it to the people I'm with though because it makes me sound even geekier than I already do.

Not only are the people who don't read missing out on a truly wonderful experience, but they are contributing to the general downfall of out nation's intelligence. Reading does wonders for a persons ability to express ideas, thoughts and feelings. It opens your mind to situations you might have never thought of and experiences you otherwise would never have. I know that Americans have tragically short attention spans these days too and I wouldn't be shocked if reading helped lengthen those as well. It makes sense- it takes much longer to read a story than it does to watch the same story on TV. Especially if said story is well written and detail-rich.

In the words of Jane Austen: The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid

Now, excuse me while I go bang my head against the wall for the illiteracy of my nation.

It's About Time

Finally, the blog you all have been waiting ages all week for! Let me tell you about riding 111 miles last weekend:

The ULCER route starts at Thanksgiving Point, goes south through Lehi and Provo then veers west around the south-most point of Utah Lake. The last leg of it is north, more or less right along the lake, and then back to the Thanksgiving Point.

There were about 2,000 doing the ride so, as I'm sure you can imagine, the start is a little crowded. Everybody bottle-necks though the starting gates; since we were somewhere near the back of the pack, the start of the ride was very "ready, set, stand around for a while until you can actually move." The first thirty miles or so we bikers completely engulfed the road. I feel sorry for anyone trying to drive anywhere along the route at that point. It was actually a little frustrating riding in such a crowd, it makes it hard to get a good stride. At some point Aaron and I managed to get ahead of Dad and then Aaron got sick of the crowd, took off and left me behind.

Dad caught up to me after a while and then we met up with Aaron at the next rest stop. The three of us stayed together pretty well from then on. Occasionally I would fall behind a little, but the boys were super nice and would wait for me when I did.

One thing that can really throw off your groove when doing a ride like this is wind. More specifically, a head wind. That's exactly what we turned south into about 50 miles out. Around Utah Lake the wind can get pretty strong (10 or 15 mph) and it really sucks all the energy out of a person. To make things even more fun, around mile 56 the biggest hill (around 3 miles uphill. yuck) of the ride popped up. We were still riding into the wind. That may have been the only part of the ride that I absolutely did not enjoy.

60 miles is the distance that I tend to run out of energy. Without fail, even on the training rides, around 55 or 60 miles I just crash. The ULCER was no exception. Fortunately it was right about that time that we turned west, so the wind was coming from the side. That didn't really make the it any easier to ride, but the turn meant that the lunch stop (read: really long nice rest) was just 8 mile away. 8 miles is nothing, right.

Aaron said he was about to pass out by the time we got to lunch. The food was good- they had stuff to build your own sandwich: a couple cold cuts, cheese, rolls, sandwich veggies. And lots of chips, cookies, crackers, granola bars, candies, and fruit. Anything a hungry and tired biker could want was there. They even had a Coke truck with soft drinks. I think drinking soda at that point would have killed me. There was also a shuttle at that point for people who decided that they couldn't make it the final 40 miles. Lunch was a very happy occasion.

After lunch Dad got slimed. We rode a block or two and his tire exploded for no obvious reason. He had slime in his tire (green goop stuff that will plug up small punctures so you don't get so many flats) that got all over everything. When he took the tire off to there was a good three inch gash in the tube - not exactly something you can patch. So he put a new tube on, pumped it up, and then we were off again. We had about 5 miles with the yucky wind still to go.

A strong tail wind is as good as a head wind is bad. Once we finally turned north we had the wind at our backs for the last 40 miles. That combined with the fresh energy from lunch made the last leg of the ride extremely possible. The west side of Utah Lake is very sparse vegetation wise and has a lot of little rolling hills. After already riding 70 miles, hills are not fun at all so having the wind pushing us along a little bit was really helpful.

All in all it took 9 1/2 hours to do the whole thing. By the end of the ride there were very few body parts that didn't hurt. My feet felt like I had been standing on them all day. I butt was numb from being on a bike seat all day. My arms and my hands and my shoulders and my back just ached. My right leg and both arms were sunburned. I was totally wiped out. Despite being exhausted for a good portion, I really enjoyed myself though the entire ride (with the small exception of the hill, perhaps). Besides that I was (and still am) really proud of myself for finishing. 111 miles is no small feat. Go me! Kudos to Aaron as well. It was also his first century, so he and I both kick major ass for finishing. Oh, and Dad. It was his second century of the summer, that's hardcore.

Wild World of Wombats

I really will blog about the ULCER. I promise. Probably this weekend. I simply haven't had much time this week. I was in New York without internet for a while and since then... I just haven't managed to sit and write anything. In the mean time (mostly last week), I have collected a few links for the "Tales from the Wonderful World of Web" thing I started two weeks ago. By the way, it's not going to be weekly. It's going to be however often I feel like doing it. So there.

I bang my head against the desk for the stupidity of people . Seriously, if you're going to go out of your way to be an assbutt, at least check for cameras first.

Hear that? That the sound of me making $$monies$$. I already did step one, check it out: Liquid That Will Make You Think You Have Energy For a Little While .... It may need some work.

Coffee Jello Eew.

This site amuses me endlessly. Well, not just by itself. If you follow these simple instructions though, it suddenly is super-fun:
1. Pick a phrase to translate. ("I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts")
2. Translate it into Japanese. (私はココナッツの美しい束を持っている)
3. Take that (私はココナッツの美しい束を持っている) and translate it back to English. ("I have the bundle where the coconut is beautiful")
You try now!

Bikes

I just finished (an hour ago. Started at 7, finished at 5. I have since come home and showered).

All 111 miles.

I'm exhausted, but really proud of myself.

Sing my praises, minions!

Go me!

Details later.

Utah Lake Century Epic Ride

Tomorrow is the big day! The big ride! I'm a little bit nervous. Mostly I'm kind of excited. Last Sunday I rode 85 miles and that went pretty well. It was a really good ride and, even though I was pretty tired by the end of it, I think another 30 miles will be very doable. Especially since we'll actually get to stop and eat lunch somewhere in the middle of it.

We finished on Sunday around 1 so we were pretty hungry by the time we got home. We had, of course, stopped a few times to munch of power bars and the like so we didn't completely run out of energy, but lunch was a very happy event. The nice thing about the ULCER is that it is a supported ride so there will be rest-stops and lunch provided for us.

Well, everybody, wish me luck! I don't know if I'll have time to post about the ride before we head off to New York tomorrow. If not, you'll just have to wait until wednesday because there is no internet where I'm going. I will try to do at least a quick post though, just so my phantom readers will know I didn't die.

A Truth Universally Acknowledged

I went to a sneak preview of Becoming Jane last night. As a story by itself, I rather enjoyed it. It was maybe a little sappy and some things were a little incongruous with the time period, but it was a great little romantic story. And James McAvoy has amazing eyes.

As a representation of Ms Austen though, the movie was quite disappointing. There is not, I believe, a huge amount of information about the famous authoress' life and the film is an exaggerated account of a flirtation she had with Mr. Lefroy over one summer. The character of Jane herself is not at all what I would have liked. In the movie she came off as a little insipid and romantic. I personally think of Jane Austen as more of a mix between Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice) and Elinor Dashwood (Sense and Sensibility). Instead she's portrayed as more like Emma, one of the silliest of Asten's protagonists.

I could be wrong about the writer, of course. It just seems a shame to make a woman who was so astute with her social commentaries and who was one of the least romantic writers of the romantic era (this could open a whole new can of worms, but her books are really more about social commentary than they are about romance. In fact, the classical sense of romance, as it applies to the movement, involving rash, emotional, behavior is often disastrous in her novels) should be presented as such a romantic sap.

Wonderful World of Web

I'm going to try a new game! Once a week (or so) I'm going to gift you all with a list of links to super cool things I've stumbled across on the interwebs. This is a game (so it's not actually a game, but I'm going to call it that anyway) that a lot of other bloggers play. Am I conforming? Selling out? Eh, maybe. That's ok though, dear reader, because it means I get to bring some extra joy to your life in the form of internet silliness. So, for the first time ever I bring you:

Tales from the Wonderful World of Web:

A question that has plagued us all at some point is finally answered: Which is better: Pirates or Ninjas?

An extremely excellent list of the books my generation is reading. I've read some of them, and the most of the one's I haven't are now on my "to read" list.

Manic makes me happy that I'm not the only one who is a little uptight about grammar.

Sex anyone? 237 reasons to do the deed!

For any who are not already familiar with it, and thus totally missed the allusion in the Pirates/Ninjas thing: Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

This is an older post on Impulsive Buy, but it's one of my favorites. It's a sad tale of processed meat. Ladies and gentlemen... Jalapeno Spam

Ridin' My Bicycle

I'm starting to get a little anxious about the ULCER. It's coming up in less than two weeks! I fully intend to do the 111 mile leg, but I'm less sure about it as it gets closer. True, I've been training all summer (maybe not quite as hard as I should have) for it, but I'm not sure 111 miles is something I can really do. That's a long time on a bike.



The longest training ride I've done was 55 miles (it was going to be 60, but I crashed 5 miles from the end and cut it short) which was no small feat. It may have been easier if I had gotten more than 3 hours of sleep the night before. Hmmmm. Anyway, this weekend we (my Dad and my friend Aaron, who are both doing the big ride with me) are going to ride 80 miles. It's the final big training jaunt. It's crunch time people.



I think my ass has been sore all summer.


To make everything more fun, on the 11th, after the ride, my dad, brother and I are catching the red-eye to New York. We're going out there for my grandmother's birthday party and to help her pack - she's moving out to SLC to be closer to us.

H to the Pizzle

Until today, I was very purposly making a point of not blogging about Harry Potter. I pre-ordered the last book weeks before it came out, recieved it in the mail Saturday afternoon and spent 14 hours straight on Sunday reading the whole damn thing.

I didn't blog about it because everyone was blogging about it. I didn't (and don't) have much to say that hasn't been said a billion times all over the internets. I'm still not going to put my two cents in about the book.

I'm breaking my silence on the subject now because of an interview Rowling did that explains a little more about what happens to the kids after the end of the book. The epilogue was vague and left much to be desired. I certainly don't want to know every single detail about what happens to every single character, but I was upset that the epilogue didn't cover what the kids (exept for Neville) were actually doing. So here's a link to the interview for any of my devoted readers who are interested. There are not any surprises, really, but it's interesting anyway.

Update: The Leaky Cauldren has even more answers here

I Wonder

Is it wrong to write when one has absolutely nothing worthy to write about?

Of course, that prompts the question: What qualifies something as worthy to be written?

I would say that this quandary does not qualify. But my fingers are desperate to type something and I have no amusing anecdotes to record, or any particularly deep thoughts to throw out into the universe.

A fly just landed briefly on my ring. That was odd.

I think, in lieu of anything personal to blog about, I'm going to talk about . . . SPACE!

How 'bout those dust storms on Mars, eh? As bad as it is for the rovers, I think it's kind of exciting. I mean, it's not unusual for Mars to have big wind storms, but we haven't had two rovers up there for any other ones (have we? If we have I give you permission to call me a schmuck). Not that the little guys can do much, what with low sunlight and everything, but it's sort of almost like being there. Only much more comfortable. No one likes getting sand in their panties, and I'm sure sand would be EVERYWHERE if a person was actually up there.

The Phoenix looks pretty flippin' sweet too.

Finally, (this is old news, but I haven't mentioned it before) New Horizons got some really wicked pictures when it flew by Jupiter. Please, don't judge me too harshly when I say that I'm totally turned on by the volcano pics on Io. And the pics of the Little Red Spot are just freaking hot.

This concludes my geek-out of the day. Thank you for your patience

Pull Yourself Together Man!

Sometimes I think that I should ascribe some sort of theme to this blog. Some possibilities that have crossed my mind are:

> Literary discussions of the books I have read, am reading or want to read

> Some sort of chronicle of the stuff I'm doing to get ready for the 111 mile bike ride I'm doing in a few weeks (eeek it's coming up quickly)

>Snarky movie reviews or celebrity commentary ('cause there aren't enough blogs out there already doing that)

>Snarky reviews of random stuff (food, bands, venues, festivals, restaraunts) that I try/go to.

I think having some sort of structure to my blog might make me more popular. People I don't directly know will find my blog interesting and worth checking several times a day. Then I can become QUEEN OF THE INTERNETS and rule the world. (insert maniacly evil laughter here)

But then I think "no, that's boring." Not ruling the world. Having structure. Is boring. As are complete sentences. If I had structure to my blog, I wouldn't be able to post a lot of stupid shit that is generally apropos of absolutely nothing.

That reminds me, I want to re-read a book I read a long time ago called Sir Apropos of Nothing. It was hilarious.

See, non-sequiters like that would... no they would still be there if I had structure. They would either make more sense or less sense though, depending on what the theme of my blog ended up being.

I'm thinking of putting a poll on my blog. It sounds like fun. It would be more fun if there were more people to take the poll. Maybe if I leave it up long enough....

Re-Vamp

You may have noticed (those two of you out there that read this ever) that things look a little different around here.

I decided that, after two and some years, it was time to give my blog a little makeover.

Don't it look spiffy? It's a little busier than it was before, and I'm not sure my super colorful posts are going to work well anymore, but I kinda like it.

If you don't, well that's your problem, isn't it?

I'm A Terrible Person! Here's Why:

Right now I am looking out the window in front of my desk at two fire trucks and an ambulance. Some random drunk guy just passed out on the grass around our parking lot. I don't know if it was heatstroke (it's 103 degrees today), dehydration or just normal drunkeness. It's aweful, but it you're going to be drunk and out in the sun when it's 103, that's what you get.

I'm a horrible person because, before I found out it was a random drunk, I was rooting for it to be Hector.

Hector is a creepy old (mid-late 30s. Not that old, but old enough) hispanic (great, now I'm going to sound racist too) guy who's been doing landscaping for us all summer. He's creepy because he hits on me all the time. And he has gold teeth. And smokes. And hits on me all the time. A month or so ago he gave me a dozen roses totally out of the blue. A few weeks ago he tried to give me a bottle of perfume. He's asked me out to lunch, to go dancing, to dinner, to get coffee on several occasions. He has also asked for my number. He really bothers me. I guess I should say something to one of the higher-ups about it.

Anyway, I was really hoping it would be him because if he got carted away, I wouldn't have to deal with him at least for the rest of the day. I'm terrible. It's not good to wish bad things on people, no matter how creepy and yucky they are.

The random drunk just walked off. They had him sitting in the back of the ambulance for a while. I guess they revitalized him.

Ah Sweet Redemption

Some of you may recall, (and for those who don't, here is a link (just read the penultimate paragraph as it is the only one that is relevant)) back in January, I sold my soul to American Express. I am happy to report that today, just a few moments ago in fact, that soul has been emancipated! That's right, I just paid off the last of my credit card debt! YAY!

I am now one step closer to getting the hell out of my parents house. It's really about time, don't you think? I do.

Since we're on the topic of goals I had/have for this year (also mentioned at above link), I've done quite a lot along the lines of growing up. I'm not totally sure I like it. Because I have to wake up so darn early every day for my "real job," I've become kind of a party pooper on the weekends. Most Friday nights I can barely keep my eyes open after 11 pm. That's really early for fun lovin' twenty-somethings.

Most of my friends hang out late at night during the week too. I simply can't because I have to get up early and I'm cranky if I don't get at least 6 hours of sleep.

Oh, and because I'm training to do the ULCER, I've been getting up ungodly early on Sunday mornings to ride my bike. This ruins my Saturday nights. No hardcore partying for me because riding 50 miles hungover after only getting 3 hours of sleep is not a happy thing.

I'm not totally sure I hate this grown-up stuff though. It's nice to actually be doing something with my life (even if it's not really much). I've kind of been passively floating along for a while, so it's refreshing to assert myself a little.

Now I have to actually get back to doing work.

Cheddah

Warning: You May Find This Post to be Cheesy as Hell (they have cheese in hell?)

This morning at work somebody thanked me for smiling at him. It the kid who delivers paper for our massive-big-pieces-of-paper printer and today he had several roles of paper that he was dropping off. This meant he had to take several trips back and forth. When he first came in, I did the "hello, how are you" basic greeting, and every time he went past my desk, I looked up and smiled. Not really a big deal, one would think.

On his way out the door after he had dropped off the final roll of paper, he said to me, "thanks for the smiles. I've been having a kinda bad morning and that was really nice."

I told him he was welcome and that I hoped his day would get better. I was a little surprised that such a small gesture on my part could have much impact on his mood.

Now that I think about it though, there have been days when I haven't necessarily been in the best mood and I've passed a stranger in the street (or somewhere) who smiled at me and made me feel much better. Corney as it sounds, that kind of random happiness is quite contagious. I kind of wish more people would bother to look around them and grin occasionally instead of brooding in their on little universe. I don't know that it would really make some huge difference in the world, but it certainly wouldn't hurt.

Gadgets

As I'm sure everyone knows already, the new iPhones come out on Friday. Today in the SL Trib there is an article about what they will and will not be able to do. I have to be honest, I haven't really been very excited about this new gadget and now, after reading the article, I am even less so. It seems to me to be a really expensive phone that doesn't do half the things that my phone does now (or at least is capable of doing. I don't take advantage of the internet stuff because I don't want to pay extra for the plan).

I'm certainly not going to rush out and buy one. Though I probably know people who will.

This is hillarious:




Update 6/27: There is an article in the New York Times today that makes the iphone sound a little better. I still have no real interest in getting one though.

Silly Rabbit

On my way to work this morning I heard a story on NPR about Kellog's and thier sugary cereal. Because kids today are fat and sugar crazy (this is bad) the big K is going to stop marketing ultra-sugary products to kids under 12. Anything with over 12g of sugar (still seems like an aweful lot) is either going to be re-formulated or they're going to stop marketing them to kids.

Ok, so when they figure out that Fruit Loops and Apple Jacks just aren't the same without sugar crammed into every bite (they can't change the formula if it messes up the "great tast people expect from [their] products"*), just who are they going to market these cereals to? Even without the cartoon characters et al, how many adults want to eat sugar for breakfast. I know there are some, but most grown ups want to go for something with a little nutrition to start out their day. However they change the marketing, this kind of breakfast food is still going to appeal to kids more than anyone else.

I think the target group will be teenage/twenty-something boys. This guess is based solely on the fact that my brother eats a full box of choco-sugar-bits for breakfast everyday (ok, he doesn't eat the whole box, and I made up the cereal, but you get the point).

As for me, I'll stick with boring standards. Raisin Bran anyone? All those sugar saturated cereals just don't taste that good to me anymore.

*I'm quoting from memory. I'm not sure that's exactly what the guy said, but it was something along those lines. To hear the story, go Here

Happy Solstice!

Huzzah for the longest day of the year and the official start of summer!

Huzzah is a grand term, isn't it?

It certainly feels like summer. I'm begining to think it might be worth it to fix the AC in my car ($500 (!!!!!) to fix it, yuck). Probably not. It's more likely to be worth it to ride my bike to work and take the nicely air conditioned bus back home. Or take the bus both ways. Hmmm, lose half and hour of sleep or suffer in a sweltering hot car? That is the question du jour.

Actually the question du jour is "How terribly cliche am I if I flirt with the FedEx guy?"

And that's not so much the question du jour as it is the question of the minute. I don't have the attention span today to have a question du jour.

"What's the soup du jour?"
"The soup of the day."
"Great, I'll have that."

I leave you with this to ponder:

Follow the Fold...

...And stray no more. One of our clients at work just a moment ago asked me where I went on my mission. Apparently I have the niceness you get when you go spread the "word of our lord" for two years. When I told him I hadn't gone on a mission because I am not LDS, he was very disappointed. He said he was going to pray for me.

After his meeting, on his way out the door, he said he's going to "find a nice young man and send him my way." Not really knowing what to say to that, I just smiled and nodded. Now I'm afraid I may get accosted by missionaries while at work. Won't that be... interesting.

Ah the joys of living in Utah. At least we don't have any Jehova's Witnesses. I hear they're nearly as bad (if not worse) than the mormons. I could go on some rant about organized religion and how much it bothers me when one group of people tries to impose its beliefs on others. I'm not in the mood to rant today though.

I am in the mood to tell all my loyal readers (2 of you?) about the movie I saw last night. Day Watch is the sequel to Night Watch, a bloody fantastic Russian Horror movie. Night Watch was really amazing and Day Watch is perhaps not quite as good but still well worth seeing. Here are the trailers for both (Night Watch frist cuz it's the first in the series)







There's a third installment too which is in production (I think) called Dusk Watch.

Dear Old Dad

As most everybody already knows (thanks to the million "Dads and Grads" ads out there now) Father's day is right around the corner. Father's day is a really hard holiday because my dad is not an easy person to shop for.

He has hobbies, true, but they all either require expensive gadgets (he does photography) or he has pretty much everything he needs. Maybe if I were rich (which I'm not. But speaking of money, I owe American Express less than $1,000 now! Yay! I should have my soul back in just a couple months! Back to dad) I could get him some super cool camera thingy or something fancy for his bike.

I almost always end up resorting to a DVD or CD. Usually it's something that I give him because I really want it, and it's easy to borrow Dad's stuff. This year he gave me a specific title. I'll most likely give him the DVD. It's easy. It doesn't feel very meaningful though. What a cop-out gift. Can't our parents be appreciated without us buying some silly little bauble?

Along those same lines, Amazon has Coolest Father's Day Present Ever! Seriously, it rocks. To really appreciate the awesomeness of it, you have to read the customer reviews.

Eharmony and Strippers

First read this.

Personally, I don't really care about the lawsuit and all that. It's just another sue happy american trying to get all they can. I roll my eyes and get on with my life. I am really tickled about the analogy that eHarmony is like a strip club. That made me grin.

My Mashed Potato Lied!

It's my Birthday! Yay Me! I'm going to take this moment to sing my praises, because it is, after all, national ME day. Youtube failed to provide me with the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail where they praise God and it goes into one of Terry Gilliam's animations. You know the one where there are clouds and lots of hooplah and trumpets that are being played by bums (not the homeless kind). I really wanted to post that here to illustrate the praise of me. Since I couldn't find it, I leave it to you, dear reader, to close your eyes and picture the scene in your head. If you haven't seen MP and the HG (what's wrong with you!!) or can't quite recall what the hell I am talking about, you must (no excuses) drop everything, find a copy of said film, and watch it!

I'm determinded that this is going to be a wonderful day. It's amazing how well it works just having the right outlook. I could easily be very disappointed about today - I have had a cold all week and it's still lingering, I'm at work, blah blah blah, the cough drop I just ate tastes really terrible! Eeew. Despite all that I'm quite happy. (double eeew, the cough drop is chewy too. Gross. I can taste the zinc.) I refuse to be in a bad mood, and therefore I'm positively chipper. Life is grand.

I think I need to share some exciting pictures now. Last year on my birthday I had dancing Storm Troopers. It's going to be hard to beat that, let's see how I do. I present:

Stewie! Beavis and Butthead! Random Dancing Bear!

And finally, just to make the day complete, here is a kinda really crappy super special Birthday Flash just for me (it will also make sense of my headline). YAY! GO TEAM VENTURE!

As CCR Put It

Have you ever seen the rain coming down on a sunny day?

I'm unhappy today.

The weather is perfect. It's maybe a little windy, but it's sunny and warm.

I wish my mood and the weather matched.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeer

I promised my next post would be a happy one.


This made me laugh:

Living With It

It sucks having an autoimmune disease. It sucks having it be in remission and it sucks trying to find the balance between abject fear of relapse and a normal, healthy life. It sucks having a rare autoimmune disease because no one really understands how much it sucks.

There was an article in Self Magazine's March 2007* issue that said it very nicely: ...with severe autoimmune illness, you get to go through all the official cancer crap without getting any of the cancer credit. There is no pretty ribbon to adorn your lapel. You do not get a story line on Sex and the City, nor do you rock out at the Grammys. You cannot purchase lovely pink products to help find a cure.

Not to belittle people who have had cancer - it's not easy dealing with that either - but do you know how many time I have wished that I had cancer instead of Wegener's? It's not easy, but it's much easier for cancer people because they have a gigantic support system and publicity and just tons of people they can relate to and share their experience.

I know that makes me sound like a terrible person, but it's really true. Cancer survivors also have the joy of not worrying if every cough, headache, nosebleed, earache or joint/muscle ache is a symptom of their cancer coming back. I do. It sucks.

A friend of mine pointed out the other day that I let Wegener's Granulomatosis be a fairly major thing in my life (well, no shit!) and that I should try to make it influence me less or not at all. Because whether or not I have a relapse is out of my control, he essentially said I should ignore the disease. His sister has had cancer and he used her as an example of how one should cope. He actually kind of pissed me off because he implied that I was a slave to WG and that I should really just be passive about it.

That's not really a plausible idea. I have to pay very close attention to any symptoms that might indicate a relapse because, while I can't control if a relapse happens, I can control how soon it's diagnosed. Catching a relapse early could save me from being on dialisis for the rest of my life or keep my nose from collapsing completely. I've found a few support groups online too. It's comforting to have found people who went through something similar, and it's helpful to be aware of what I can maybe expect if I do have a relapse. Not actively dealing with WG is likely to be more detrimental than not.

The truth is I don't really let it have that much influence on my life. If I were to really let Wegener's control my life, I would be a total hypocondriac and would never do anything but worry about it. I do very normal things for a person my age. There are a few things I don't do because they would increase the risk of me getting sick, but they're kind of stupid things to do anyway. I don't even talk to most of my friends about it because right now, it's not a really big deal. Occasionally they'll ask me about it, and I'll tell them, but I seldom bring it up.

Blah! I promise my next blog will be happy. This one and the one before are a bit ponderous.

*I couldn't find a link to the Self article itself that didn't require some sort of password. I've posted it as a comment though (it's kind of long so I don't want to put it on the main page). I highly recommend reading it; it's a great article.

Have You Waxed Your Philosophy Today?

I'm waxing philosophic today. (What the hell does that mean anyway, "waxing philosophic"? Well, I know what it means, but where did it come from and how does it make sense?). One of the guys I work with asked me yesterday if I was LDS (being in Utah one gets asked that question frequently) and I said no, I was atheist. Today he asked me if I believed in "all those energies" - you know, the weird energy thingies that godless heathens sometimes believe in. I told him that I kind of dabbled with Taoism but was mostly an Existentialist. Not surprisingly, he asked me what that meant. I explained it to him as best I could; existentialism is kind of a tricky and controvertial little philosophy even within the existential community and my major exposure to it has been a few plays by Sarte, Camus and Beckett.

From a shit happens perspective, Taoism says "shit happens", Existentialism says: "Shit doesn't happen, shit IS"

That conversation got me thinking that existentialism and taoism don't really go very well together. I occured to me that you may not really be able to do both; an existential taoist? Seems a little far fetched. Based on my limited exposure and what I learned today on wikipedia (mostly just refreshing my memory about the two ideas really) I will now attempt to desipher whether or not the two can work together without totally cancelling each other out.

Existentialism (really over simplified) is based on the idea that human existance is fundamental and inexplicable. A big motto of this thought is "existence precedes essence" which essentially means that there is no predefined meaning of life, people just exist, and any meaning that we find is there because we (humans) ascribe it, we define our essence through our actions, reactions, our life. We are "thrown" into existence and we simply exist until we come up with some definition of ourself. We live in a universe that is random, irrational and totally indiffernt to us. According to Sarte, rationality is "bad faith" - it is an attempt to impose structure on the structureless universe. As far a God goes there are three ideas: God is dead, belief in God is a personal choice based on faith, experience and/or observation, and Agnostic Existentialism. The last one is the one I like. It doesn't claim to know anything about the "greater picture" - about God or the grand scheme of things or whoever it is that throws us into existence or whether any of those things actually exist. Whatever the greater picture is, it's far beyond human comprehension so it's futile and useless to try to figure it out.

Enough of that, let's move on to Taoism.

I'm going to simplify Taoism even more than I did Existentialism. There are several reasons for this, one is that "Taoism" coveres a whole shit-load of philosophies, religions and interpretations there of. Second reason is my understanding of Taoism comes mostly from a religion survey class I took which really just covered the basics. I like understanding (in a limited way) Taoism like this because it really leaves the whole thing flexable and open to interpretation. The third reason is that this blog is long enough already and there simply isn't time to dive deep into the Tao.

Let's pretend that Taoism is pretty much the sum of it's parts; looking at it this way makes it easier to look at it in relation to existentialism. The parts are (more or less) Tao, De, Wu Wei, and Pu.

Tao is a concept that is really difficult to explain. Actually it's impossible- those who know the Tao don't know the true Tao (or something like that). As much as I would love to be cryptic and leave it at that, Tao is (big surprise here) a major component of Taoism and really needs to be sort of understood. Tao is the flow of the universe - it's the influence that keeps everything balanced and in order. It's kind of like "the force" in Star Wars or Chi in feng shui. It is also "the way" or the path you must follow to find the Tao. It's beyond human comprehension to fully understand what Tao is; that's not just me saying so, that is part of the definition of Tao.

Part number two: De can be literally translated as "virtue" but its meaning is different than the typical western definition. De is essentially following the Tao (as in "the way" more than as the universal force). Being virtuous by Taoist standards means doing the right thing for the right reason. De means you return someone's wallet not because you want the reward but because it is the right thing to do and in harmony with the Tao.

Wu Wei is sort of related to De. Translated it means "without action." A big part of Taoism is also "Wei Wu Wei" which means "action without action" - I dare you to try to wrap your head around that. Wu Wei doesn't mean (as the translation would imply) that you should sit around and do nothing. It means that you shouldn't fight the Tao; you shouldn't exert your will on the universe. Let's pretend the Tao is a stream, Wu Wei would be like a stick floating down the stream - it's moving and "acting" but not fighting the current. Not Wu Wei would be a big old rock in the stream which would eventually be worn away into dust.

Finally, let's talk about Pu. Pu means "simplicity" and is the true nature of the mind. Have you ever had a moment when playing an intrument or playing a sport where you're so into what you're doing that your mind is kind of blank and everything just comes together but the second you start thinking about what you're doing (really start paying attention) it all falls apart? That moment of blankness is Pu- at that moment you are one with the Tao. It's awareness without definitions, lables, knowledge or experience.

Now comes the fun part! How can Taoism and Existentialism work together? There are some bits of Taoism that work pretty easily; Pu, for example is more or less just existing without any ascribed meaning. When you are one with the Tao, you simple ARE. The Tao itself goes quite nicely with the "greater picture" Agnostic Existentialism. Of course, you run into a big problem when you look at the part of the Tao that orders the universe. A truly random, irrational universe cannot have Tao, especially since Tao is all about balance. Ah, there's the rub. Taoism is a way of structualising the random universe; this is a problem. Another problem is that Taoism is essentialy giving a pre-existence meaning to life; we exist to follow the Tao. I could then argue that the Tao isn't there to follow until we define it or create it or chose it as an essence.

At this point, I'm a bit flummuxed. I don't really know that anything I just wrote actually makes sense. I would like to point out to any readers that I really don't know what I'm talking about. This blog has been me just thinking aloud (in a typing sort of way). I think I'm going to simply continue to exist and if I happen to follow the Tao along the way, good for me!

Meat Pies. YUM!

I just found out that Tim Burton is directing a new movie version of Sweeney Todd, the demon barber of Fleet Street. Sweeney will be played by Burton's favorite actor, Jonny Depp (I heart him, but I have to wonder if he can pull off the Sondheim score), and opposite him Mrs Burton (Helena Bonham Carter) as Mrs Lovett. Alan Rickman is also signed up as the judge. Sacha Cohen (Borat) also has a role, not so sure I'm totally psyched about that. Most websites say that it will released December 21 this year, but one said Jan 11. In any case I can't wait.

Another film I'm quite excited for is 28 Weeks Later, which comes out this Friday. I loved 28 Days Later and this sequel looks to be just as good. I miss Cillian Murphy though.

As for the rest of the Summer of Sequels:

I can live without seeing Spider Man 3 - especially after hearing about it from friends who saw it over the weekend. I wasn't too impressed by the first two (though they are good for comic book movies) and all their redeeming quality are lacking in the new one, or so I hear.

You will find me in line on opening day to see Pirates.

The Harry Potter saga continues with Half Blood Prince coming out on July 13. I will probably go see it, but I'm much more excited about the final book release two weeks later.

Ocean's 13 should be decent. Let's be honest, the first two Ocean movies were really just hollywood hotness getting together and having fun. It worked. This latest installment doesn't look like it's going to be anything more than that, so it should work too.

What else is coming out this summer? Fantastic Four, Bourne, Die Hard... I'm fairly indifferent to those three. Transformers? Eh.

Hairspray should be fun. If nothing else, it might be worth it to see John Travolta in drag.

What's The Matter With Kids Today?

Seriously, when does this even start to make sense?

I guess it's good that I can't relate to a total sociopath, it means I'm not one myself, right? I just don't get why doing something like that would even cross someone's mind. Especially since it was a duck that the school had sort of adopted and was monitoring.

In the article, they mention that the kid might not be charged with anything. I think letting him get away with it with a slap on the wrist and a couple shrink visits (god knows he needs those anyway) is almost reinforcing the psycho behavior. Even if he's not wired to know the difference between right and wrong, he could still understand the logic of doing something illegal and facing the consequences.

Can you just imagine what his parents are going through? Unless they're the "oh my kid could do no wrong. He's not bad, just misunderstood" kind of parents, they have got to be freaking out. How do you handle the idea that your kid is showing classic signs of being a violent sort of nut job? I would be scared to death. And I would never be able to watch Haloween again.

Sgt Nicholas Angel is my Hero

I had a pretty fabulous weekend. Nothing extremely exceptional happened, but I had nothing but fun.

On Friday I went to see Hot Fuzz, a bloody brilliant little bit of comedy from the makers of Shaun of the Dead. I have to say I like the zombie flick a little better, but I also like zombie flicks better than cop movies so .... Anyway, I recomend checking out Hot Fuzz if you're looking for a good laugh. I had a final earlier on Friday so laughing was quite a nice follow up.

Saturday afternoon I saw Les Miserables with my grandma and mother. It was quite well done and, though really long and operatic, very good. I hadn't seen it before so it was a worthwile passing of the afternoon. Saturday night I went to a party and met some interesting people including a kid I actually met once way back in high school (freshman year to be precise). He was a friend of my boyfriend at the time. I'm not sure why I remembered that I had met him briefly before. Anyway, we talked about art and I'm now inspired to spend a small chunk of time wandering around the UMFA (art museum) this afternoon.

Sunday was my favorite day of the weekend. I got up early, at 7, (which was not so great, but not really that bad) and went for a 27 mile bike ride. I'm pretty damn proud of myself for that considering how I'm in terrible shape and haven't ridden my bike any major distance in years. It was a wonderful ride too - the weather was perfect and everything looked pretty and springish. That afternoon I bought some stuff for my bike at REI (I discovered after 30 miles that my saddle was not really as comfortable as I might like) and piddled around outside for a bit. I went to bed last night feeling quite tired, but in a really good way.

Today's Forcast is Blueberries

There comes a time in every girl's life when she has to ask herself, "What 5 songs would be the most tubular songs ever for karaoke?" (apparently she has to speak 80s when she asks)

I've never done karaoke myself (as a service to the planet, believe me). And I believe that the quintisential karaoke songs should be ones that most people wouldn't think of and that lend themselves to total embarassment of the singer.

This is what I would answer:

"It's the End of the World" by REM -thoroughly impossible to sing all the lyrics but it would kick ass if you could. And it would kick ass seeing the karaoke kids try to hit all the lyrics. Awesome.

"Psycho Killer" by Talking Heads - really, anything by the Talking Heads would be fun. Their songs don't make much sense, but you don't really need to be able to SING to sing them. And Psycho Killer has French bits. Anything French is fun!

"ADIDAS" by Korn - It cracks me up. And how much fun is it to sing about nothing but sex? Come on, shake those karaoke singing grandma's up a bit. It'll do them good to be a little shocked. (for those of you thinking: "how many grandma's do karaoke? I thought it was a younger people thing. Like something you 20-30 somethings do in bars." You should probably should take a moment to think before you think something.)

"Woo Hoo" by the 5 6 7 8s - for those who are extremely lyricly challenged.

"Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen - This is actually what started it all. This was on somebody's (I don't remember who or how I heard about it) list of the best karaoke songs because it's a great song to do in a group and it has something for everyone: a little rock, a little opera, a little... Freddie Mercury. I thought: That's dumb. There's no way a human being, especially a drunk one, can hit the high notes in that. Man, this would be awesome to see.

So that is my list. I think someday I should go to a karaoke bar and fix it so that people have to sing these songs. I'm sure it would be the raddest thing ever, dude.

ZOMGWTFWBDJD?

Here's a no brainer. It turns out that text messaging (omg i nvr wooda thawt this culd happn) makes kids dumber! Ok, not dumber, just less litterate. There's a big surprise, eh?.

Devoted readers of my blog (ha ha ha omigod I'm funny) know how much I love text messages from my rant a good while back. This article just adds another item to the list of why I don't like 'em. The art of constucting a decent sentence is being distroyed by technology! I'm sure it applies to more than just Irish kids too. Maybe we don't notice it in our American youth because they're all electro-brain-washed and inarticulate/illiterate to beging with. It's all very tragic, I think I may cry.

(insert exasperated sigh here) It's really no use resisting such technology as text messaging. Yes, I did give it up for a month last year, but that didn't really do anything. My friends who communicate soley by text got a little annoyed with me. They still sent me texts messages and I called them in response. It was all very silly.

I'm tempted to give it up again, but it's kind of nice to be able to talk to friends when I'm at work and can't really gab on the phone. By no means is this a necessary diversion, but it's kind of nice. Anyway, I always practice safe texting (still HATE that word! I'm all for turning nouns into verbs on occasion, because it's fun, but this is yucky. Texted is worse). I send complete sentences with my texts; often they are long winded sentences with words that the autospell on my phone doesn't recognize. I absolutely refuse to use "i m speak" unless in mockery of people who speak completely in letters. I refuse to let my literacy slip through my fingers as they work the number keys of my phone! Not that it's likely to do so, it's pretty well ingrained in me.

It's also scary when people text and drive.

Speaking of driving, This.

I feel very unhappy for this world of ours. I would feel much worse, I'm sure, if I hadn't ridden my bike to work today. Especially since my gas tank is empty and I would have had to spend 40 some odd dollars to fill it up if I drove it today. Yay bike!

Tis a Blustery Sort of Day

Last night I had vegan pizza. It was good, but it wasn't really what I would call pizza. The consensus was that it should be called "weird shit on bread." But that doesn't make it sound very appetizing. Of course neither does "vegan pizza" really. Oh well, it was actually quite good.

Over the weekend I got a new pair of shoes for $2.50. They're gold and strappy and I'm probably not going to wear them more than a couple times in my life, but they were only $2.50.

You know what would be fun? If a tornado hit downtown and I had to go home. I guess it would probably be more scary than fun, at least in the traditional sense. Oh but it would be exciting. And I sort of don't feel like working today. It's not so bad really. Just on days like this when it's stormy and crazy outside, I want to be either out in the weather or watching it from the comfort of a big armchair with a nice cup of tea. Actually here at my desk I have a very decent view of the rampaging winds. I'm just missing the tea.


Update: There was no tornado. :( And now it's snowing. The really fun part of all this is that my dad, my brother and my brother's girlfriend are all going to a double-header Real Salt Lake soccer (would it be footer because it's soccer?) game tonight. In the snow. Fun for them!

Let's Boogie

It's Friday!

It's Spring!

Yay!

Let's party, old school:

Cheese

The glorious thing we call the internet has reached a new high. That's right, ladies and gents, you can now watch mold grow on cheese! in real time, no less. Finally something we can waste out time with that is less outdoorsy than watching grass grow and less stinky than watching paint dry.

I'm not sure what disturbs me most about this website.

At first it may be the 643,774 (and counting) hits. But it occurs to me that very few of those are probably return viewers. And I am one of them, as will be anyone who clicks on the link to the cheese page from here. So, I'm going to give at least 600,000 of those people the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure they, just like I did, had to check it out to see if it was actually real.

The cheese has a myspace page too. That is... special.

And now I'm perpetuating the success of the website. After all, fame on the web is counted by how many people know about and/or visit your site. On the other hand, very few people ever read this little blog of mine, so I'm not really making much difference at all.

And speaking of blogs (I guess this post is going to be longer than I originally intended), I was reading a Frost Bytes in this week's City Weekly and found this little bit kind of interesting:

• Heard of “ghost blogs”? They’re blogs started by briefly gung-ho writers and diarists, only to be left for dead after a few entries—there are an estimated 200 million (!) of them haunting the Internet right now. “The extraordinary failure rate of online diaries and claims that interest in blogging will soon begin a precipitous slide are sparking an intriguing debate about the future of self-expression on the Internet and whether blogs, once seen as revolutionary, are destined to become a footnote in the history of computing,” said a U.K. Sunday Times report. “Others liken the abandonment of blogs to ‘the suicide of your virtual self’ … At least one Internet writer blames the blogging culture for helping to turn the Internet into a dictatorship of idiots.’”

I find this somewhat encouraging actually. Not that I have anything against blogging, obviously, but I think it may have gotten out of hand. A few weeks ago on Talk of the Nation (NPR show) there was a discussion of the deprivitisation of our lives thanks to internet/wireless communications. People blog about little minute details of their life, and millions and millions of people can read about it. It makes things much less private. It's like airing your dirty laundry and inviting the neighbors over to take a good whiff.

There are also the super politcal blogs done by kids who think they know everything. They bother me. The amount of information available online these days is astounding without every Tom Dick and Harry having his say. And people are slowly loosing their ability to weed the good stuff from the bad stuff. That's a whole other issue though, and I don't want to go into it.

There are, of course, some good blogs. Some news orginizations have blogs which help them connect to thier readers. It's like a 'letters to the editor' page, but less formal. There are also a few blogs that do reviews (of movies, tv shows, celebrities) and those are fun.

And then there are blogs like this one that just don't give a shit. I do this thing because I want to. I don't care that very few people read it. I enjoy writing it, and it's really fun for me to go back and see what I've posted over the years. I can go on about whatever I want and I wont be impossing my little tirades on anyone who doesn't want to read them.

I wonder what the future of 'sef-expression on the internet' will bring. Certainly a continued breakdown of personal privacy. Maybe more moldy cheese?

The Inevitable Things in Life

... Or at least one of them.

I filed my taxes today. Isn't that exciting? It certainly is.

The question now is what will I do with the money? It seems such a shame to waste a perfectly good chunk of free money (yes I know it isn't really free, but it kind of feels like it is) on paying off credit cards, but that's probably where it will go. Or maybe I'll save it and spend it after I pay the little plastic devil gods. I can't truly enjoy the extra dinero until I buy my soul back, can I?

On the other hand, a pretty new pair of shoes would fill the hole that was once my soul quite nicely. Or, if I want to be somewhat practical, there's some bike stuff I could use. Oh, I need to take my bike in for a tune up (she deserves a spa day, and has never really had one). And some new running shoes might be a worth wile adventure. True, I do have the fancy New Balance shoes I got at the ORS, but they seem just a little high tech. That's silly, isn't it. I will not buy new running shoes because I don't need them.

I'll find something good to do with my refund.

Deadly UV Rays

I love the sun, but the sun does not really love me.

I spent the weekend in Moab with Scott. Yesterday we drove around on a bunch of dirt roads (beautiful scenery). The sunroof was open the whole time. I got a little sunburned.

I have drawn a self-portrait to demostrate the sunburnedness of me:



It's not a very good portrait. I don't have oddly lengthed pointy arms, My eyes are considerably more normal than that, as are my mouth and nose. Let's call it an impressionist portrait. And it does well enough to demostrate that I am a little sunburned.

My skin hurts.

Weeee FUN

Let's all play a game!

Or, to be more specific, THIS GAME.

Why am I not playing the game over at that site? Because I don't want to.

So, here are my five random i-pod songs:

First Orgasm - Dresden Dolls
Impromptu in 2 Keys - Gershwin (performed by Fazil Say and the Chicago Philharmonic)
Got To Get You Into My Life - The Beatles
Kids with Guns - Gorillaz
Burning Down the House - Talking Heads

Now, what does it all mean?????

Ta Dah!

It is officially Spring now! Horray for the days being longer than the nights (however slightly at the moment). So far here the weather has been fairly spring-like too. Last week it was sunny and quite warm- a few days we had nearly 80* weather. (there is no degree sign on my keyboard, so I must use the asterix).

In other news, I'm going down to Moab this weekend with Scott. He's going down for a little adventure race thing. I'm going down for support. Aren't I sweet?

XCIX Bottles of Wine on the Wall

Happy Ides of March Everybody!

Although I'm not entirely sure the 'ides of march' is necissarily something to be celebrated. It certainly wasn't too great for Mr. Ceasar.

I've taken to listening to NPR lately because normal radio sucks. On my way to work today somebody was on talking about the post slaying (of Julius Ceasar) party and the roman rendition of 99 bottles of beer on the wall.

Here's a link to the story. I recomend listening to it, it's much more fun if you actually hear the song.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=8899367

Blood! Guts! Glass!

I just lived through a minor disaster at work. Granted, it was not very disasterous and the only one who could have possibly been hurt was me, but still.

I'm working as a receptionist now (yeah, very challenging work, but hey, it pays well and it's a fun office) so I sit at a desk and answer phones all day. I have a fairly large desk in the entrance of the building above which there are three hanging lights. These lights have about ten inch high cylidrical glass shades.

About ten minutes ago, one of these shades, specifically the one directly above my head, came off and crashed onto my desk. It missed my head by a few inches but shattered all over my desktop.

The good news is that I'm totally fine. I had a little shard of glass lodged in my hand and a few little cuts, but over all, I'm just peachy keen. It does bother me a little that it happened at all. And if I had been leaning foward at all, it would have given me a good conk on the head.

I'm a little wary now of the remaining two lights.

Click on the Blue One

You know what's not fun?

Waking up at 6 in the morning.

Not fun.




You know what IS fun?

SPACE !!!!!

Tides

I just started a new job. Actually, my first real day (not just training) is Monday. It's not that exciting really, it's just a receptionist job. But I like all the people at the office and it pays well. I'm really kind of excited about it.

Now that I have regular hours and the opportunity to start a routine, I'm going to start training for a triathlon. Wish me luck!